Post # 1
Yup… I’m a bad person. My grandmother has become “difficult” the older she gets. Just very.. angry, bitter, opinionated. I am usually pretty good at keeping it together and just letting what she says go with a grain of salt but yesterday I just snapped. She said to me “so explain to me why you feel the need to get married outside.. on the beach.. 2 hours away”. I said nicely because that is what we want, we both love the area.. etc etc. She said well that is just stupid and no one will come.
First of all.. we are getting married 2 hours away in an area that is very touristy and has a lot of overnight options if people feel like staying over….not in Africa… and second I snapped… and said I honestly don’t care if anyone comes.. which she found disgusting and told me so. I then told her that the day was about me marrying the man I love more than anything and us spending the rest of our lives together… if people could not make it that I would miss them however I would understand. I do think the location may deter a few people from coming but as a whole I really don’t think it will be an issue.
Then of course.. the guilt sets in… the holy crap I just yelled at my grandma guilt. The holy crap she thinks I’m awful… then she started talking about some family friend who is “gasp” having a baby on her own (shes 40ish and always wanted to be a mom)… and i realized you know what… no matter what I do I’m not going to make her happy.. so I will just kill her with kindness try not to be patient and enjoy just a little bit her shocked face when she finds out my shoes will be blue under my dress, we will be doing first look pictures, and my wedding colors are navy and “gasp” BURNT ORANGE!
.. just needed to vent
Post # 3
I know crabby people can be frustrating, but yes next time back slowly away and don’t yell back. She’s just doing it to get a rise out of you.
Post # 4
my grandmother has acted like that my entire life. on every little detail of anything.
just don’t let her get to you. and don’t take it personally. it’s easier said then done, i know, but try.
Post # 5
Sounds like my grandma…
Just try to ignore her and keep it moving. In fact, when she says something, say something nice and remove yourself from the situation so you don’t have to deal with her.
Post # 6
It’s okay to be angry when people say hurtful things about something that is so important to you – even when it’s your grandmother. My case is pretty extreme but I finally realized it was just fine not to love my father’s mother. I wasn’t raised near her and we’ve never had a close emotional concection. The straw that broke the camel’s back was her making comments about “lazy Mexican and colored people” in front of my Latino fiance. I just looked at her and thought, “Wow. I don’t like you. At all. And that’s okay.” Personally, I’d be thrilled to attend a beach wedding, sounds like a great time.
ETA – Please forgive the typos. I plead post finals eye strain.
Post # 7
Since no one knows her personally except you, is it possible she’s just pointing out some possible outcomes to make you see what may become a problem? It seems to me that it’s a rare B&G that gets married in their hometown anymore where it’s the most convenient for many family members that still live close by, so the fact that people will have to travel a distance does mean some won’t make the trip. It’s just a fact, and maybe she thinks you didn’t think it all the way through. Unless she’s always been a nasty person, I can’t imagine she’s saying these things to upset you.
The people that want to be there will come, so try and enjoy your planning!