- 7 years ago
I feel like I’m going crazy.
AND – I’m thinking it’s all a communication issue.
AND – I’d like some perspective.
The short version: DH is going out with some co-workers tonight without me. He invited me, but instead of taking him up on it – I played some stupid game of needing him to prove to me that he wanted me around – and it ended up biting me in the butt.
Here’s the long version. Let’s start with our text dialogue:
Darling Husband: Any desire to go to “X” bar because it’s “Jane’s” b’day. (Jane is a co-worker – more on that later)
ME: no, not really. That ok?
Darling Husband: that’s fine -but do you mind if I go with “Jack” we won’t be there too long. (Jack is a co-worker too)
ME: No, not at all. I actually don’t mind going – just didn’t prefer it if wasn’t an option
Darling Husband: An option it’s cool if you go, if not I understand
ME: Just let me know what you’d rather do. I’m fine if you go with jack and I’m fine going with you too. It’s all good!
Darling Husband: Going to be at “X”. We don’t want to be there long. I want an early night with you.
ME: Will you please call me??
AHHHHH!!!!!! ok. I know I should really learn the lesson of asking for what I want and I have CLEARLY not mastered this.
I initially just thought he was asking like it was no big deal – meaning, if I said no he wouldn’t go.
Had I realized he wanted to go no matter what – I would have agreed to go – but then when he told me to come – it made me feel like it was just out of obligation and he really didn’t want me there (my issue, I know).
And – I SHOULD have said “great! I’ll go with you” after he said it was cool for me to go – because the ONE thing I want to do is spend time with him tonight. We haven’t seen each other few days and the next couple days are crazy busy… and I was looking forward to finally having some down time with him.
I should also say that our last fight involved an misunderstanding via text. He and I should just NOT text during instances like this. It DOESN’T WORK.
And, to completely come clean – I think the reason this whole thing struck a nerve with me is because I already have some sort of jealously issue with Jane – as written in my recent post, here:
So. I sit – fuming. It’s been about an hour and he hasn’t called and I’m sure thinks he’s in the doghouse or just busy at work.
I’m pissed off because it FEELS like he’d rather go hang out with his co-workers who he has just spent ALL day with – instead of time with me. I hate that he’s more concerned about making a showing for Jill’s event than how his wife might feel (wrong attitude, I KNOW). I know he said to come – but the conclusion was he didnt’ want me to be there (probably because he knew I didn’t want to be there) – …. I’ll be the first to point out that I’m being a big baby about this…
And – to make it worse – what I’m probably going to do is use my sudden ‘free’ time to go shopping for HIS mom’s b’day present (at the store which is in the same complex as this bar!) and/or starting on laundry. Oh doesn’t THAT sound like a fun Friday night when he is off having fun.
I know I’m feeling extra sensitive because we haven’t seen much of each other lately… AND I’m PMS’ing and feeling ESPECIALLY crazy. How’s that for a recipe for disaster?!