Post # 1
Background: My FI’s sister is 39, she has a child who will be turning 1 in March. She has been with her boyfriend and Father of her child 2 years. She has never married.
Fiance and I are both 30 and have been together for 4 years engaged for 9 months. We have no plans to have children until maybe in about 3 or 4 years. We’re in no rush.
So, Fiance just got another job (a really good job. his dream job!). We we’re so excited that we called his family to let them know that the good news. We called his Mom and then his Dad and then his Sister. When we called his Sister Fiance said “Hey Sis, so we got some news” She went really quiet and then I said laughing “Don’t worry I’m not pregnant!” Her reply floored me. She said “Well good, at least not until after I am married!”
Now Bees, I know Fiance and I are not wanting children just yet, but imagine if FI’s news was that we were having a baby?! I really don’t get why she would say that. She’s not even engaged yet, why would she want us to wait until she is married? Quite frankly I felt pissed that she would even think to day that.
Post # 3
Eh.. it’s pretty normal for people to say one thing and do another. I mean.. look at smokers! They will tell their children it’s not okay while lighting up another cancer stick.
Post # 4
@waddle: Maybe that just came out wrong and not how she intended. If you haven’t had issues with her before then I would let this roll off your back because it sounds like a weird slip of the tongue. Maybe she meant to say wait until YOU are married but was too embarrassed to fix it or didn’t realize she mixed up me and you. I make these mistakes all the time!
Post # 5
That’s weird. It sounds like she’s having trouble with the expectations she’s set for herself like wanting to be married. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 6
Wow…that’s an extremely rude thing for her to say or even think. I really don’t understand some people.
Post # 7
I totally get what you’re all saying, it’s dumb to get pissed about it. She just wasn’t exactly thrilled when we got engaged so I just just a bit miffed that she would say that, that’s all.
Post # 8
No excuse, but my guess is tht she’s planning to get married later this year or in the not too distant future, and she got nervous that the attention would be on a new baby instead of on her wedding.
Post # 9
Sounds perhaps like she isn’t pleased with the lack of progress with her boyfriend?
Post # 10
I don’t know maybe she was thrown by your comment of I’m not pregnant. It could have come off like you thought she would have a problem with you being pregnant. Maybe her response was a silly comeback/ a jab at you for your comment?
Post # 11
@waddle: Well if she did mean it, tough shit. I don’t imagine you should plan your life around her potential marriage.
Post # 12
@waddle: I just posted a reply on another thread where a Bee feels like she can’t get engaged for THREE years so that her recently engaged Future Brother-In-Law and his Fiance can “have their time.”
This idea some people have that the people around them have to put their own lives on hold for them and their events just absolutely floors me.
The entitlement, pettiness and childishness is breathtaking.
Post # 13
Eh, she didn’t say anything in her own. She was responding to your comment. Probably just caught off gaurd. And it’s not like you’re actually pregnant. No need to get upset or pissy about a comment that doesn’t even really affect you right now. If you get preggers or start trying and she raises hell? That’s another story. But I think it was just a weird off hand comment. Don’t make it a big thing.
Post # 14
@waddle: to me, it sounds like she was making a nervous joke about how she doesn’t want you to get “too far ahead” of her. only you know her tone/personality but I wouldn’t be upset by this!
Post # 15
@waddle: I say get pregnant and be as big as a house in her wedding party. Sounds like she’s just being selfish! — I think she doesn’t want a pregnant person spoiling her Bridesmaid or Best Man lineup.
Post # 16
To me it sounds like she doesn’t want you to have the full package before she does, some people would feel it looks bad if you were married and had kids while she only just had kids… I’d just take a mental note of this for when you actually do get pregnant if she is not married at that point, that is when it’ll all come out as to whether or not it was just a joke.