Post # 1
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
I didn’t think we were that young when he proposed. When we get married I will be 22 and he will be 23. We are on the younger side I guess but we have been together for 4 years, living together for 2. This isn’t a rushed thing even in the slightest. Our engagement will even last a year and 4 months in the end. (Which does drive me crazy because I would love to me Mrs. Shef already!)
When I talked to my pastor about officiating and counseling he made a comment that I am so young but then asked if Fiance was a Christian too. I understand asking that. When I told him that he was actually Jewish he didn’t sound happy. He then asked if we were living together. I told him we were. So then he asks, like he has already assumes he knows the answer, if I am pregnant and if I am going into this marriage for any reason other than love. When I told him that I loved my Fiance with everything I am and that we are NOT pregnant he sounded surprised but explained that he couldn’t perform the ceremony because we weren’t both Christian. I understand that part. I knew that would be a hurdle for us. But his immediate assumption that because I am pregnant because we are getting married young and he isn’t a Christian. He isn’t the only one that has alluded to that or outright stated it. WTF? I mean, is the idea of a young couple getting married out of love and not necessity just that hard to believe? I don’t think we are young at all but I am already sick of hearing that we are… and that we are obviously knocked up.
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
My husband and I were pretty much the same as you. My husband and I were 21/22 when we got married, got engaged on my 19th birthday and we lived together for 2 years before getting married. I hate how people assume that you are knocked up just because you are getting married young!
Post # 4
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has had to deal with this and thinks it is rediculous.
Post # 5
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
i dont think that is that young. At 22 you are usually done with college and are able to work full time. Many couples wait until they are done with college to get married which is about 22 years old. My Fiance and I were 24 when we got married. I didnt think that was young at all. We are both independent and finacially secure. 24 is only one year older than your Fiance will be. I think 18 -20 is young. But everyone has different ideas I suppose.
Post # 6
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
I don’t think that sounds too young, I opened this post thinking you where going to say you where 18. I think you are certainly old enough to get married.
Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
@MissDonnaAnne: I agree. We aren’t young. But that is what we keep getting told.
Post # 8
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: January 2011 - Gardens of the World
I hate people assuming that. Thankfully, us having an 11 month engagement has quelled most of the knocked up comments. Yet there always seems to be those people that just jump to conclusions anyway….
Post # 9
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
Well be 22/21 when we get married. I’m graduated, he’ll have another 1.5 years of schooling, but we’re perfectly capable of marriage. No one has told us that we’re too young, but then again, we’re the only ones out of our social circles that is in a stable, long-term relationship that AREN’T married. Different perspectives, I guess.
Post # 10
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
I get this question all the time. The pregnancy question, that is. It really bothers me that people assume such a thing. I know it’s happening more and more often, but don’t be so quick and hasty to judge us. Can’t people just be happy?
Post # 11
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
I get the opposite reaction, I get the “it’s about time”. I didn’t realize 30 was so old.
Post # 12
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
In my opinion, people are way to forward with marital advice as well as baby advice. Im not sure why its anyones business when someone gets married. We are going to be 25 and 29 and my mom thinks were “ruhsing into it” even though we are having a 2 year engagement. Wheres the logic there? lol
Post # 13
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
I am 24 and got the “It’s about time comments”. We have dated for over 7 years. I am tired of people thinking that we are going to TTC as soon as we are married. People are always going to make assumptions. I think it will be something we can laugh at in the future.
Post # 14
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee
I’m 22 and my future husband is 28. When he told his family he was engaged several of them asked if I was pregnant, which I certainly am not. Some still joke about it out in the open… ha…ha… so funny. My family didn’t ask or hint at it! Now when his family asks for a wedding date we tell them “it’ll be at least a year” so they know it isn’t an oh-no-she’s-pregnant-shotgun-wedding. It didn’t occur to me that people would just assume I’m pregnant!
Post # 15
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
I went through almost the EXACT same thing as you. When we were married I was 22, and my Darling Husband was 23. I had to go through some red tape for us being different religions (long story). When the pastor that married us found out my husband is in the military, he immediately asked how long we had been together (4 years). You’ll learn to hush out the comments, trust me! You can’t get through wedding planning if you let those comments get to you. I have never been asked if I am pregnant though, but I think everyone just assumes we were getting married because he’s in the military and it seems to be the popular thing to do. He had already been in the military for 1 and 1/2 years by the time we finally tied the knot. I feel you! People are nosy and rude…
