(Closed) Yes we got engaged “young”. NO! I’m not pregnant!

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@SBourgeous:

Its funny Im 22, soon 23 and Ill be 24 when we get married. When we got engaged people assumed it was a shot gun marriage too.Laughing Now that they know Im not, they still think that 24 is too young

Post # 18
Member
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

We got engaged quickly after dating so I got the same thing! When people first starting asking, though, I didn’t make the connection and thought I must have been looking fat.

Post # 19
Member
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think what bothers me most is that your paster assumed that you are pregnant because your Fiance didn’t share the same religion as you. Helllooooooo people can be moral and not be Christian. The lowest out of wedlock birth rates are actually found in non-Christian social groups. I find his assumption to be really prejudiced and a little ignorant.

Just hang true to your own convictions – you are obviously following your heart, and that’s the most important thing!

Post # 20
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

No one has said anything outright, but I think it’s crossed their minds!  We ended up moving our wedding closer (by 5 months!) which probably didn’t look good!

I was at work with people I don’t normally work with and we were sitting there talking (after just finishing talking about how “young” I am!) and I was just absent-mindedly fidgeting with my e-ring and looking at it.  Someone goes “well that’s a nice ring, are you engaged?” (in a weird voice, not rude, but not complimentary).  And the (older) lady next to me asks when the wedding is, so I tell her…it was just a weird conversation.  Weird looks all around. Embarassed

I’m sorry your pastor won’t marry you.  The one we chose was surprisingly accomodating (me a Christian, fiance not), and we live together.

Post # 21
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think your age is a pretty common age in the midwest to get married. I bet half of my friends (25 and under) are married. Im sorry that he will not marry you, his  comments about being pregnant are out of line. Sounds like he was fully trying to understand the situation but it is still rude. 

We dealt with some churches that wouldn’t offer us pre marital counseling because we were living together before marriage. Some have strict rules. 

Post # 22
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I dont think you are too young, and I suspect the wierd comments are indicative of weddings in general, but so are the congrats as well!

Post # 23
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Try being 21/22 and moving your date up an entire year–then the pregnancy comments really start! 😉 I was 19 when we got engaged and 21 when we married a week ago today (!!!). I don’t think it’s necessarily too young; it depends on the couple’s personal maturity and readiness. Congrats, and hang in there! Oh, also:

Post # 24
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Mrs Grape: Man that turkey is hilarious lol

Post # 25
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: i got engaged my 19th birthday too!

we are young too and no i’m not preggers even tho everyone seems to think so.

i used to get sick a lot and that would cause some serious weight loss now i had surgery right before i got engaged and have gained maybe 15 pounds in the last year nothing bad totally good i actually look healthy for once in my life but people still talk.

dont listen to them haters

Post # 26
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ok so I can see the pastors point of view on this.  You say you are a Christian but you are living together, which as you already know is a sin especially to a pastor.  So it’s natural that they will assume that you could be due to that simple fact.  But here’s the point…He shouldn’t be judging for one, and two the fact that your man isn’t a Christian shouldn’t be a big problem since there are many Jewish guys whom also believe in Christ, Hince Jews for Jesus.  Unless he’s not. 

I’m sorry that you had to deal with that.  That’s just not very loveing or Christian like of him.

Post # 27
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee

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@yearns4god: There actually aren’t a lot of Jewish guys who believe in Jesus, since the act of accepting Christ as your savior means that you are NOT Jewish. You can of Jewish descent, yes, but you aren’t a Jew. Ugh…sorry. I’m not trying to be rude–I’m converting to Judaism and my dad doesn’t really seem to understand the concept that Jews for Jesus aren’t Jews at all. Ick.

Post # 28
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We will both be 22 when we tie the knot in 2 weeks. However, we’ve been dating 6 years, engaged for 2. So, lucky for us, we get BOTH sides of the snarky comments lol.

From family (who know how long we’ve been dating) we get “oh it’s about time! I thought I’d be dead before you 2 ever committed!” or, “wow! took you long enough, eh?” As you can guess, our families have a rather young average age for marriage and didn’t understand why in the world we’d want to finish our degrees before marriage. They didn’t see how it would be any different be engaged in college from being married in college.

From strangers (such as wedding vendors we’ve met with) I have gotten such wonderful comments as, “perhaps you need to look at some gowns that will fit a ‘growing’ belly” and “oh so, young…well, I *hope* it all works out for you. My daughter got married at your age and she was divorced in 6 months. kids these days!” My personal favorite has been from a caterer we met with. I wanted a HUGE reception. It has always just been my dream. The lady looks at me and says “Hun, perhaps you should take into consideration how much of a financial burden this may put on your parents, especially considering the fact that you are a child and children’s marriages tend not to last, especially when those children are having children”

I responded with, “Well, HUN, perhaps YOU should take into consideration that you just lost a LOT of money by being a judgmental old prude instead of just DOING YOUR JOB. And by the way, I am NOT PREGNANT. We ‘children’ have a thing called a ‘5 year plan’ because we are RESPONSIBLE members of society and have CAREER GOALS in mind. Good luck explaining to your boss how you lost $15,000 when I call to tell her how unpleasant you’ve been. Good day”

LOL typing all that out sounds a bit harsh but it pissed me of soooo bad. Good to know I’m not the only one facing this though…

Post # 29
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Haha @neohippie, I would’ve never been able to say that!!

I’m also from Texas, and am “just now” getting married at 29.  I feel like anytime I went back home they thought I was an old maid!  Oh well.

As a pastor’s daughter, I have first hand knowldge of this!!  If a pastor is going to do a ceremony, I think he just likes to know the facts.  They are awkward questions, but if he doesn’t believe in 1) pre-marital sex 2) union of two that have different religions, he has a right not to do the wedding.  Also, if you have been living together and now are getting married, I think it’s an assumption you could jump to, pretty easily (pregnancy).  Try not to be offended, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone to officiant. =)

Post # 30
Member
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ll be 23 and Fiance will be 25, and I got that question from someone I work with. It was really awkward explaining to him that there’s no way I could be… 😛

Post # 31
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Love the title of this thread! Im 22 and my Fiance is 25, and his sister in law asked him if I was pregnant! Crazy thing is ….she got married at 23 without being pregnant, so you would think that she would understand.

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