(Closed) Yes, you’re invited but No, you’re not getting an invitation

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snowy414: Just tell him they have to get invitations because this is a wedding, not a house party.

Also, they will need to return the physical RSVP cards and cannot do that without receiving a formal invitation.

Post # 4
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sometimes guys just really don’t get it, and it sounds like this is one of those situations. Your Fiance is probably right about one thing: his GUY friends probably don’t care about physical invites. But if any of them are girls or if their girlfriends are invited too, it’s very likely that they’ll notice and be offended. I’d send them invites, if I were you.

Post # 5
15 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

lol, my fiance refuses to mail invitations to his work friends. He thinks “It’s a waste of money” when he sees them everyday. I realized I don’t have their addresses, so it’s not really a battle I’m willing to fight. Too funny!

Post # 7
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Mr. Hedgie was like that for a while but finally he realized what I was saying and got their addresses. I think it happened after a friend of our got engaged and their wedding was supposed to be in April and we still hadn’t gotten an invite because “he already knew we were invited”. It bugged Mr. Hedgie to no end so now we will be mailing out invited to EVERY invited person.

Post # 8
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve been invited to a wedding by word of mouth. I’m in grad school and it was grad school friends. It was weird because I wasn’t 100% sure they really wanted us to come. Then, turned out we couldn’t go (it was about 4 hours drive away on a holiday weekend) and I wasn’t sure how to tell them we couldn’t come since we didn’t get an RSVP card. I told them face to face and then the couple was disappointed we couldn’t make it.

The reality was, we had a conflict and since we we’re given a formal invite I didn’t think we should try to reconcile the conflicts so we could attend. I had no idea they really wanted us there, I just thought they were being polite and inviting classmates out of obligation.

Moral of the story, if its someone you are truly inviting, give them an invite. Its easier for everyone. You also run the risk of more people crashing because they heard about it word of mouth too…. Invites definitely exist for a reason 🙂

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