(Closed) yesterday one of my bridesmaids pulled out

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

First off: “I’m going through some strange and hurtful stuff with this wedding planning process. I didn’t know what I signed up for when I said yes!“…..When you said yes, you said yes to marry someone you love, not throw an extravagant party with all your BFF’s. If its not working, scrap the whole thing and elope! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Remember its about you and your Fiance, no one else!

Second: She’s being ridic. It isn’t her wedding to criticize. Try not to be bothered by it. If she wants to make suggestions, allow her to speak and just thank her for the thought but let her know you will be making the final call.

Third: I hope she realizes what a dummy she’s being and that you can begin to enjoy your planning.

Post # 4
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m really sorry you’re oging through that! It really hurts when someone you love enough to ask to be a bridesmaid brings you down like that.

I understand wanting to work it out, but for what it’s worth, I’d let her go……it sounds like a lot of drama that you just don’t need to worry about. Planning is stressful enough, and yours girls are supposed to support you, not make things harder.

Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just keep in mind is you and your FI’s day, whatever you chose to do is your business and altough others might be entitled to an opinion they have in no way right to critizice.

You’re entitled to be mad and hurt, cause she was mean and hurtful, but keep in mind, the way she’s acting, you’re better off without her, you don’t need drama on your day.

Post # 7
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mtnhoney: Are you normally pretty laid back and she thinks the wedding is out of character? Like the seeing someone who’s normally a complete tomboy put on a big cinderella dress and you wonder wtf, mate?? if that’s the case, I could kinda see why she’s confused but I certainly wouldn’t expect her to voice it the way that she did.

If not, well then just tell her what you told us! (which is really all that matters) “we really want to celebrate with our friends and family, and we’re not breaking the bank over this. […] what hurts is that you’re [she’s] not even fully informed and being judgemental. i thought we were better friends. I would have been overjoyed to support you [her] if the roles were reversed”

Post # 10
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mtnhoney: well then uhhh I got nothing for you other than to stick me in her place ๐Ÿ˜‰

No really, you sound like you’ve done nothing wrong and would have been a joy to plan with! I’d just leave it lie as is and, if you were so motivated, reach out to her in a week or so to see if she’s changed her mind at all.

Post # 11
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mtnhoney: I have to ask: why does it matter that she’s straight? You keep mentioning it like it’s significant and I don’t understand why.

As for the rest of it, it sucks and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you could call her (because things can get twisted through text) and explain to her that you’re still being you with this wedding. Explain all the personal and quirky things you’re doing to make it your special day, and then explain that the colour thing is just something you think will look nice. Hopefully she will be able to understand.

Post # 13
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

what a brat. she’s being selfish and trying to draw attention on her. who cares what she wants–seriously! IT IS YOUR WEDDING!

i was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend and if she wanted me to wear some ugly, poofy, cotton candy pink monster, i would have! in reality we wore beautiful dresses, but im just saying i wouldve supported whatever vision she had–it was HER day!

a Bridesmaid or Best Man or MOH’s role is to support the bride!!!!

ps–it’s good she pulled out to be honest. otherwise she’d be pulling this crap over and over!

my only advice is to stop asking for your group’s opinions. like right now you’re choosing colors…. just TELL them a color and say you’re giving them the choice to pick the style. things can get confusing if you keep changing your mind, so stick with this next color. i would personally get annoyed if details kept changing! 

also youll never make everyone happy, so dont even try.

Post # 14
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mtnhoney: Her saying it’s “too traditional” is bs to me. I have been in weddings where I hated everything from the flowers to the music…but it wasn’t my wedding, It was my friend’s. So I shut up, and smiled, and kept my opinions ot myself. That’s what a friend does. Her job is to be there for you, not criticize your ring choice, etc.

If she doesn’t like the way you’re doing your wedding then she can do the exact opposite for hers. But it’s yours and FI’s day, and saying it’s “too traditional” is a total cop-out.

Post # 15
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mtnhoney: Yikes, sounds like she was just looking for an easy out. I’d say you’re well rid of her if she’s not even going to take the time to talk to you properly about whatever issues she has.

The topic ‘yesterday one of my bridesmaids pulled out’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors