(Closed) Yet another anonymous post, from yet another sad girl. Please help! Need advice!

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@thiscantbehappening…. i didnt mean to guilt trip you but im from an abusive & alcoholic upbringing so im very much aware that marriage has its challanges and some problems can be fixed providing both parties are committed. im glad you have this happening now in your life and not once you are married because it would be wrong to be tied into something financially without any knowledge and its obvious you thought the world of your Fiance but i also think that providing Fiance is honest and prepared to change his ways financially that this is a fixable problem.

i remember a pre-martial counsellling questionionare we looked at that included finance questions, each others ratings, future spending  – maybe this is something you should do sooner rather than later


Post # 63
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can’t tell u anything that u haven’t already heard before ..I have some debt, that i didn’t fully disclose to my honey and vice versa ..than one day ..he realized i was makin payments on something..and boom…..I’m not goin to say its ur responsibility to watch over him with this , since he did create this issue ..but if u love him , you should stand by him ..When u become engaged , i believe in the whats urs is mine and whats mine is urs , and that includes bills.. I really don’t think he set out to deliberately decieve u , he just didn’t think ..and yeah thats a HUGE issue , but its not something that u can’t fix .. Let me ask u this ..If u were in this situation would u want ur man to stand by u ??  Maybe i am wrong here ..Create a joint account and tackle things together ..call these places that he owes and ask them if they would want to do a settlement cost ,which some places would do  just to get a payment .. And if u don’t trust him with the $$ issue , which i totally understand ..then why doesn’t he just move his money into ur account ..and u guys will do this together .. These are just ideas ..You obviously can do what u want to do ..i just don’t want u to give up on someone ..and later regret it .. The vows say thru good times and bad .. Anyways dear i wish u luck ! Keep us posted .



Post # 64
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I guess I am a deadbeat because I too had my wages garnished for my student loans. Long story short, I was only working part-time the first four years out of grad scholl and couldn’t come up with the amount of money the student loan people wanted AND still pay rent, get food, etc. At the beginning, I owed 34K and now I am down to less than 12K, thank goodness.

That being said, you have gotten some very good advice here. I just wanted to say that not everyone who gets their wages garnished are deadbeats. Times get rough and student loan people can be real SOBs.

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