(Closed) Yet another etiquette question

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we throw a party after the wedding to include our church family?
    You don't have to, but it is thoughtful! : (22 votes)
    52 %
    Yes! It is proper etiquette! : (0 votes)
    NO! Just say thank you for the bridal shower and let it go. : (20 votes)
    48 %
    Other (please explain below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    13073 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You don’t have to.  You are only obligated to invite people to the reception that you invite to the ceremony.  It is thoughtful, but unnecessary.  Perhaps you could talk to the priest about renting out the church hall and having a tea there a few days after your wedding, or after your honeymoon?  You should share sneak peek wedding pictures, and have a social gathering with the women who gave you a shower.

    Post # 4
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    In my grandmother’s church, it is expected to give a shower, but not to be invited. It is what church ladies do. Just enjoy your shower, write thank you notes, and enjoy.

    Post # 5
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    im in the same boat, i just found out that the pastors wife is gonna throw me a belated bridal shower( after the wedding because she is throwing another bride to be a bridal shower this weekend for a wedding after mine..) she throws showers for each bride and groom in the chruch family but with timing she couldnt get this one planned.  we are inviting a few people from the church to our actual ceremony and reception and probably have a party the day after for the church guests.after the regular service.

    Post # 7
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think “church showers” are similar to “work showers” in that most people don’t expect to be invited to the wedding, but want to throw a shower to show their support. I wouldn’t worry about doing anything other than thanking them for their generous offer.

    Post # 9
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    You definitely don’t have to. I agree that they are throwing you a shower because they totally understand that not everyone can be invited to the wedding, but they want to do something for you. I’d thank them very graciously for the shower and everything. A party is up to you.

    Post # 10
    368 posts
    Helper bee

    I think you should maybe buy something small but don’t have a full blown party. I would buy some nice pastry (or something along those lines) for the congregation and set out some wedding photos.

    Post # 11
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Perhaps offer a donation instead to the church, if you have only just joined the church so you can marry in it, then you didn’t even know this community until you started your wedding plans. We go to church every Sunday (didn’t before we wanted to get married in our chosen church) we are not inviting the regulars that go, while they are nice – theres not enough room for everyone at our reception

    Post # 12
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You could do something unrelated to your wedding for your church family.  My parents (I’m a pastor’s kid) held an open house every holiday season for the church – members came and went and it was a great way for them to be able to see everyone and give them their best wishes for the season.

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