(Closed) Yet another kids at wedding post

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is the 11 year old a first cousin? We drew the line at second cousins. Also, you could use 11 and up as the guideline for inviting people. I would not bend to their demands. It is perfectly reasonable to want a kids free wedding and I don’t think you should make exceptions. However, if you do want them there (and they are likely to say no if kids are not invited) you could invite their kids and tell your friends that only family was allowed to bring kids.

Post # 4
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is the cousin traveling for the wedding? What age is her baby? How about your friend’s baby? Is either infant nursing?

Post # 7
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@futurefishy:  Ok, if they are local, it is reasonable not to invite the baby. And at 1 years old, even if s/he is nursing, they should be plenty fine to make it to a wedding, so it’s a reasonable request (although I would argue that your friend with the 6 month-old or 3 week-old, if nursing, ought to be invited).

So now it comes down to what’s more important to you/FI. If this family is more important, looks like you’ll need to invite them, and if your kid-free wedding is more important, then don’t invite the baby and assume they won’t be there/will be upset. Your call. They should just gracefully decline if they don’t want to bring the baby (doesn’t sound like they will, but that’s not your problem).

If, ultimately, you decide to keep the peace, you can definitely say only family children were invited, and your friend(s) should be fine with that (should, but no guarantees they will).

Post # 9
4373 posts
Honey bee

I think you’re fine not to have the babies there. Since they’re local, they should be able to find someone to babysit for them. If they refuse to let anyone babysit that isn’t already at the wedding, that’s their problem. 

Post # 10
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are only inviting kids of relatives.  You could do that and explain to your friends that you truly didnt want to invite children but the few that you did invite are family.

Post # 12
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ugh, I have similar issues I just posted about.  I also don’t want babies at my wedding. What I decided to do was to hire my former assistant who I trained and supervised (her job was child care with special-needs kids) and have her manage  a kids table. In my wedding website I am stating that we love kids but ask that people please not bring them. I am already putting it out there that there will be a kids table for the wedding party kids and that if they cannot find childcare to please talk to me about having their kids sit at the kids table. The kids table is capped at 10, so that way if anyone outside of the 10 calls, I am so sorry but the childcare person cannot safely manage a larger amount of kids.


The other plan, and this is so child-ish (no pun intended, ha!), but I might just say to anyone who asks why there are kids there and their kid wasnt invited “I wish I knew, I said no chldren.” I think people expect that some people will break the rules and won’t hold it against the bridal party. We all know “people like that”







The topic ‘Yet another kids at wedding post’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors