(Closed) Yet another porn post

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m also in the boat of not being bothered by it. The way I view porn is very simple: it’s a tool. You can do the work without it, or you can use it and get the job done in half the time.

Post # 4
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I agree with you, Anglea83. I think it’s normal to find other people physically and sexually attractive. The problem starts when one starts to contemplate acting on that attraction. Merely noticing and appreciating is simply human. Would I want to KNOW specifically who my Fiance is attracted to? No, not really. But I wouldn’t be suprised at all if an attraction arises somewhere down the road. I’ve found other men attractive, but I would never pursue anything beyond noticing, and I would expect my Fiance to do the same. With porn, I feel that as long as it doesn’t interfer with the relationship and both partners can discuss their feelings on the issue openly, it’s not that significant. It all comes down to respect and communication, in my opinion.

Post # 5
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

I feel the same way. My SO likes to sneak onto my laptop (reinforcing all of my mac > pc claims he likes to fight against), and once in a blue moon, when browsing my history, I’ll notice that he had visited a porn site or two. Being the charming princess I am, I proceed to relentlessly poke fun at him about it. I will ask him 20 billion questions about what he watched and what he prefers to see, while he sheepishly tries to change the subject. I honestly don’t really care if he watches porn. As long as he doesn’t lie to me about it, and it doesn’t become a psychotic addiction, I don’t see a problem.

If I was around to please him every time he became sexually aroused, I probably wouldn’t eat, sleep, work, or exercise. If he wants to take care of himself while watching videos of assumingly “hot” women, he can have at it. Does he find these women ascetically pleasing? Sure. Does he want to marry them and share his life with them? No. That’s all me, baby.

Post # 6
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

OP – I completely agree with you.  My Darling Husband and I both will make comments about finding other people attractive and it doesn’t bother either of us one bit.  We’ve both watched porn (only separately at this point but hopefully at some point will together too!) and don’t find anything wrong with it.  Watching porn or seeing other attractive people doesn’t make me want to have sex with them or anything – I still only want my DH!

So basically – no, you aren’t the only one who feels this way!

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

And for the attraction side of it, which I didn’t answer in my first post, I completely agree with you. I think it’s totally natural for each of us to find others attractive. Just like FutureKMM, we actually enjoy talking it over with each other… its fun for us to people watch and say, “do you see her/him!? What do you think??” I think that people who are uncomfortable with their SO being attracted to other people is usually more of an insecurity with themselves and/or their relationship.

Post # 8
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Totally agree, glad to hear I’m not the only.  Although I’d rather that my Fiance doesn’t resort to porn, I totally understand when our schedules get off whack and he’s on his own!!  Just like @ME Team said… it’s simply a tool.  I totally trust him and don’t get offended by it.

Post # 9
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree.  I don’t think that as a person you can ever turn off the initial thoughts that you have about thinking someone is attractive.  As long as you aren’t acting on being attracted to someone else.  We used to be long distance so I understand that sometimes our schedules don’t work together.  I’m not completely crazy about porn all the time but every so often is okay.

Post # 10
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree.  My hubs and I have a very healthy sex life, but I know he’s got a, um, healthy relationship with himself too (though his porn of choice is more erotic literature that images).  It just doesn’t bother me.  If it affected our sex life, maybe it would bother me, but I just consider it part of human sexuality. 

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Angela83: Whew, I was starting to think I was the only one! Like you said, I completely understand and respect the views of those who have objections to porn. Personally, I’m simply not upset by my Fiance looking at it. I’ve had occasion to use his personal laptop in the past and saw a few tell-tale sites come up in the browser history. I also noticed that the stuff that he was looking at was representative of MY body type. My reaction was “Awww, you really DO like my body!”

Post # 12
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@izziebear: This.

Post # 13
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so glad to know I’m not the only woman who shares these views. I see nothing wrong w/ porn. While I may not have the supermodel or even typical woman figure, I still know Fiance adores me & wants to be w/ ME. It would be dumb of me to think that once we got together he could NEVER possibly think another woman was attractive.

Post # 14
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m the same! I honestly don’t care about porn in the slightest. My guy looks at it and then clears the computer history (I think he’s probably sick of me poking fun at him), but  I wouldn’t care about finding it there. TBH, I watch it sometimes too. 

Post # 15
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

FINALLY!!  Totally agree.  I could care less if my Boyfriend or Best Friend is watching porn on the tv, computer sor even going to strip clubs.  As long as he’s sleeping with me at night…hell if I care!  I’ve said on other posts that if Boyfriend or Best Friend goes out with the guys & they go to the strip clubs I would even give him an extra $20 for a lap dance.  

There is nothing wrong with looking at others attractive human beings….NOTHING! We’ve watched porn together before and most of the time we are making fun of it because some of the stuff out there is just so…..stupid really.  

Boyfriend or Best Friend told me a story about an ex of his.  She got all upset bc she woke up one night to find him pleasuring himself.  Seriously?!? I said if that was me, I would just roll over and me “thank god I don’t have to do it for you” and go back to sleep.  But to wake me up it would have to take an 9.0 earthquake!

Like Izziebear said..if I was to be there all the time I wouldn’t have time to have a life.

Post # 16
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am totally with you ladies. I am completely open to porn. This will sound odd, but when I was in the army, I would take part in the “porn parties” the guys had in the barracks, where they pooled their porn for people to peruse as a group. It also wasn’t uncommon at parties at a house for a “porn room” to be in place, where porn was playing, and people would come and go, with a drink, watch for a few minutes, then re-join the party. It wasn’t “sexual” per se in those situations, but it gave me a lot of insight into what guys found attractive vs unnattractive, sexy vs silly etc.

I work shift work and FH travels about 1 week per month for work, so although we don’t openly discuss it (we do reference is subtly) we both have to self-service at times, and if he uses porn to do so, that is fine with me, sometimes I need to fantasize to get myself going as well, and if porn/erotica helps, I don’t see a problem with it.

 

The topic ‘Yet another porn post’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors