(Closed) Yikes! I Think I’ve Accidentally Already Started Planning!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would not tell your SO, or it may just worry him a little, besides it may not be his choice of venue. And don’t forget you don’t have to see this venue, it sounds like the vendor is trying a hard sell to get you in to see it, when all you need to see are prices and photos.

Just be firm and ask for prices only, you can always view it when your engaged together. It’s not going anywhere. Good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just let the associate know that you’re still in the very early stages of planning, ask that she email you the info only (maybe cite a habbit of losing things?), and tell her that you will contact her when you are ready to start talking details.

Post # 5
Member
4126 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think there’s any harm looking around but if you are going I think it’s probably best to tell him.  “Hey, look at this great venue, I thought we could go and have a look around on Thursday (or whatever date).  What do you think?”

I started planning (in my head) too.  I have inspiration pics and everything.  Was sitting with my friend the other night (who is engaged and planning her wedding) and she was telling me about her colours.  I was so bummed, they’re exactly the same as what I’d envisioned (well, both SO and I, since we’ve discussed it).  And I just had to stop myself from saying “but those are myyyyy colours”.  Ladyartichoke, pull yourself together!  You’ve not even got a ring yet. 🙁

Post # 6
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had a friend check out a couple of venues with her mom a month before getting proposed to. Her now husband was none the wiser, and it helped to just show him the places that she really liked. No harm in looking if you absolutely know you are getting engaged soon, and know that your future fiance would rather just look at one or two places than 10.

Post # 7
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I personally wouldn’t tell him about it, I’d stick to just emailing them right now. But if you think he’d be open to discussing it, without feeling pressured, maybe start by discussing what type of venue he had invisioned as a possible lead-in to the subject of touring.

I personally wouldn’t tell him about it, I’d stick to just emailing them right now. But if you think he’d be open to discussing it, without feeling pressured, maybe start by discussing what type of venue he had invisioned as a possible lead-in to the subject of touring.

 @ladyartichoke:  “those are myyyyy colors” hahahah. I totally feel this way sometimes, shouldn’t have encouraged everyone to go on pinterest! Now they know all my otherwise cool ideas, and they’ll be used before it’s ever my time!

Post # 9
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Ms_Sunshine: If you are feeling that way… stop!  I was doing the same thing a couple of months back but I couldn’t anymore and my SO was aware and supportive.  At least let your SO know that the venue has caught your attention and you’re communicating with this venue about pricing and etc.  I have tons of ideas, bookmarked and saved on my computer, but when it actually comes down to the planning I’d rather wait.  At least you know it’s coming! 

Post # 10
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Ms_Sunshine: I wrote this in a previous post, but consider this: everything you do now, you’re taking away from your future self.  You’re really only jumping the gun because you’re excited, but you’re effectively lessening the fun you’ll have once it’s official.

I know it’s easy for an engaged bee to tell you, but you should probably just stop and enjoy your relationship right now, the way it is.  Future you will have all the more fun for it!

Post # 12
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: Excellent advice. It’s a great feeling to start all this stuff when you’re officially engaged with the wedding date in hand.

Post # 13
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I totally understand how you feel.  Ever since we started talking wedding a year ago I started thinking about what kind of wedding i would want.  Well, i decided i wanted to get married outdoors and have a barn reception.  That thought led to wondering where i would find such a venue in my area.  I would randomly google venues in my spare time.  It took a year, but i found the absolute perfect place in September.  I wanted to know how much the place was because if it was more than what we would budget I was going to forget about it and move on.  The only way to get pricing was to email the place.  I got pricing and it was way less than i expected..perfect!  This is the place for sure. now all i have to do is wait for the ring.  Under no circumstance would i tell my SO unless he said something like “where do you see us getting married?”  Then i would tell him that one of my recently married girlfriends checked out his place and here is the deal on it…

Post # 15
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Thanks Katy!

OP, part of the problem is that venues will generally start a dossier on you immediately and kick into high gear trying to get you to sign. Its a slippery slope between calling a venue, going to one of their quarterly open houses, having free tastings, etc. Once you’re engaged, you will have a ton of fun doing this with your soon to be Fi, BMs, or family.

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