(Closed) Yikes…something happened…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9641 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sunflower7:   Please do what you would want your SO to do if this situation was reversed.  You would want him to have already thrown some random woman’s number away, right?

It’s not a sign.  It’s a test.  Do the right thing.  If you’re interested in band boy, break up with your SO first, and THEN call him.

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sunflower7:  Try again with your guy on the marriage as well… He may have just been stressed or in a bad mood when you brought it up last.

Post # 7
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@sunflower7:  He’s a good guy, works his butt off, doesnt lie to me, doesnt treat me badly although he is pretty emotionally unavailable and doesnt pay much attention and when it comes to the future, he doesnt want to have the discussion. 

 

If the best thing you can say about him is that he doesn’t lie to you and doesn’t treat you badly plus he is emotionally unavailable about your future together, I think he’s a dud.  Start planning and executing your escape plan from this guy.

 

Post # 8
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

With my FH we just naturally moved from talking about ourselves to our future individually to our theorectical future together.  FH says that he realized he wanted to marry me when he got tired of every sentence starting with “If we’re together in 5 years…” and “If we have a child…”  He wanted to change “if” to “when”.

Post # 10
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If you are really interested in calling this guy, I think the sign is that you aren’t really that interested in staying with your SO.

Post # 11
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sunfire:  +10, couldnt have said it better myself.

@sunflower7:  It sounds to me like this relationship has run its course, with your reaction to being approached by another man just one point of proof: a guy I met briefly through a guy I dated years ago Facebook messaged me saying something to the effect of “if I run into you in another life, I would LOVE to take you out on a date.” At no point did that make my heart go a-flutter, because I’m very happy in my relationship.

 

…you obviously feel something is lacking for you in yours, and thats why this band member seemed so interesting.  I’d re-evaluate where this relationship is headed.  You’ve been dating for over 5 years: bringing up marriage shouldnt launch him into a pissy mood.

Post # 14
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with PPs. Sounds like your relationship with your SO is heading downhill, especially if you are checking out– which I think you are. You are still definitely young enough to find someone else, and I think the fact that you are so tempted by the band guy says that you are ready to move on. Think hard about what you really want in life. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is emotionally unavailable and doesn’t want to talk about the future with you? 

 

I’m glad you’re going to give the marriage talk another try. But make sure you have thought through what YOU want very clearly before starting the conversation. If it doesn’t go well, and you are sure you are not happy anyway, then you have 2 excellent reasons to move on. 

 

Band guy should not get a call until you are single, though. And if you do go for him, he might not be looking for marriage at all!

Post # 16
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Okay… seriously?  A sign?  Any guy can write his phone number down on a piece of paper.

Reconnect with your guy and have a serious talk with him, ASAP.  Maybe get out of town for the weekend.

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