(Closed) Yikes…something happened…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

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@sunflower7:  trust your instincts on this one. If he can’t discuss it without getting angry at his age and after 5 yrs if dating it’s time to rethink this relationship.

Post # 33
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

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@NickiBee:  +1,000

I can understand feeling pressured if he was 21 and you’d been dating for a year. But dude’s 30 and he’s feeling “pressured” after 5 years together and livign together?

Not cool. Not one bit cool.

I feel like you already have your answer, unfortunately.

On a complete tangent I’d totally frame that ticket stub with the number in it. Someday you can show it to your kids and be like “Believe it or not back in the day I had major game” I wouldn’t text the guitarist but I’d definitely hold onto it for bragging rights 🙂

Post # 34
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sunflower7:  If he can’t even talk about a future with you without bringing up a prenup (which is a conversation for another day, if he wants one) then he is just terrified of marrying you. I’d drop him if his attitude doesn’t warm up.

Post # 35
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

ps- You’d be staring in a lifetime movie if you broke things off with the guy you want to marry to run after the guy from the band ~_^ I’d put the breaks on that little daydream until you are well and truly single.

Post # 36
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I would just like to leave you with this excerpt….personally I love this guy’s website and book. My So read some of it and says this guy is pretty good at explaining the man’s point of view.

 

MYTH: Men Are Afraid of Commitment.

FACT: I have no idea what this one even means. It’s nonsense. Total nonsense. I’ll admit that men are afraid of committing to someone they don’t want to be with. But, um, isn’t everyone? Seems like sort of a healthy fear, like the ones we have of “fire” or of “getting stuck in a conversation with your friend’s boring grandfather.” Men want to be with someone they want to be with. And if we are with the right person, well, of course we’re going to want to stay with her. But if we aren’t sure we want to be there (which usually ends up meaning that we don’t), yeah, that’s when you’ll get some “fear of commitment.” This is sometimes also known as “not liking you.” I can remember a relationship I was in many, many years ago. I could feel the “commitment heat” coming off of her. She wanted to talk about moving in together. I was a little panicky about the whole thing. And for a minute there, I thought that there was something wrong with me because I was afraid to commit to her. I actually had the following thought: “Oh, man. I guess I’m with the woman I’m going to be with forever, and I don’t really like her. This blows.” And so it did. It was only later when I was in a good relationship that I realized, “Hmm. Weird. I have no problem committing in this situation—one that I want to be in. Odd, huh? Probably just a coincidence.” I promise there are no men who think, “This situation is perfect. I’m with the perfect woman for me. I love spending time with her. But I am afraid of commitment, and so I will leave her.” Honestly, that doesn’t happen in the real world, where we live and work and pay bills. If a man wants out, it’s because he wants out. It’s not because you’re too perfect for him. Remember the Manslator’s Golden Rule: if he’s backing out the door but saying how perfect you are… er… which one of those things do you think you should believe? MYTH:

Mac, Jeff (2009-01-01). Manslations (pp. 19-21). Sourcebooks, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

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