(Closed) You & Your FMIL: A Manual?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
43 posts
  • Wedding: December 2011

Does she know you sleep there? Have you ever slept together while staying at her house? If not then it would probably be a good idea to sleep at your own place, especially if she has strict religious views. However, if she is perfectly okay with it or already knows then I see no problem. Lastly, you should really do what you feel most comfortable with, if you don’t feel comfortable sleeping at the house while she’s there don’t do it. Also, why not give her the gift when you see her then. Just some thoughts.

Post # 4
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Regarding appropriate etiquette to thank her, why not send her a thank you note?  My fiance and I send thank you notes to the other’s parents all the time.

If she doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I don’t see the timing of you giving your gift as an issue.

As for the overnight situation, if your fiance is okay with it and you’re not uncomfortable, you might as well stay with him.  It’s HIS apartment, so as long as he stands up for you and the rules of his place, it ought to be fine. But if you’re uncomfortable (which I would be, too), there’s nothing wrong with staying at your place.

Post # 5
67 posts
Worker bee

I have the same sticky situation, my Future Mother-In-Law knows we sleep in the bed, in the same house most nights. Do we sleep in the same bed while visiting her at her house? no, but when she comes and visits my boyfriend, we don’t change our sleeping arrangements, and it’s totally fine.

So, I say do what you feel most comfortable with! If you think it’s weird to have her in the next room, stay at your place. Don’t fret to much, it’s just one night!

Post # 6
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Do you know how religious she is? Not to rain on your parade, but some Muslims do not allow photos of anyone in their home.

As for the “living” together. If your FFI thinks that it’s silly for you to go stay somewhere else then I would follow his lead. And, if when she’s there you feel uncomfortable then at least you know you have somewhere you can go.

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