(Closed) You are having another bachelorette party?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Meggiemae14:  Why the hell is the other Maid/Matron of Honor throwing her another party? So weird. 

Personally? I would go to only what I wanted and then pretend I’m sick. I’d set it up that I am on antibiotics or something… so once the drinking portion of the day started, I’m out. 

Normally I’m not for lieing to friends, but brides can be insane and there’s no reason to hurt her feelings. I have the most reasonable, level-headed friend in the world who got married a 5 hour drive away- sort of mini-DW. I was unemployed for a YEAR before her wedding and still, when I said I was spending the night before (to help her get ready for the 9am ceremony) but would be leaving that night, she was hurt. Um. Expensive beach resort for TWO nights on top of gas & food? I totally didn’t expect her to care. It ended up working out and I was glad I was able to stay another night (yay SO for paying!) but you just never know how a bride is going to react.

Post # 4
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Meggiemae14:  I went through a similar situation with one of my closest friends when her Maid/Matron of Honor decided on a bachelorette destination that was going to cost me $750 for the flight and hotel alone. My advice is just to be up front with your friend and let her know that you love her and are honored to be part of all these celebrations, but you can only make it to the first half of the party because of finances. I feel like people are more likely to understand that sometimes people just plain can’t afford something and you wouldn’t want to lie about a prior engagement and have it come out somehow that that wasn’t the case (that happened to me in regards to my bachelorette party and it feels much worse to be lied to. I wish my friend had just been honest.). Either way, I know it’s a crummy situation to be in, but your friend will understand!

Post # 7
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Meggiemae14:  I had 2 but there were no overlapping guests.  So yes bow out.  This is absurd.

Post # 8
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Tell her the truth. You are her MoH so obviously you are her friend. She knows you have your own wedding to pay for so I don’t see how she could get upset with you for not going to a second party. 🙂 

Post # 9
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

First of all: two bachelorette parties is just ridiculous. You don’t need two! Second of all: just tell her the truth. I’m sure she’ll understand that you just can’t afford it, especially with your own wedding planning and such. I couldn’t get mad at a MOH/BM for being unable to attend a second batchelorette party (granted I wouldn’t have two). Money doesn’t grow on trees. Surely she understands that.

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