- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
@mjoyelle: these things cross my mind every time I encounter the dove real beauty campaign. I wanted to applaud the blogger up until i read these words:
“this is a lie.”
the blogger then goes on to say:
“What you look like should not affect the choices that you make. It should certainly not affect the friends you make—the friends that wouldn’t want to be in relationship with you if you did not meet a certain physical standard are not the friends that you want to have.”
THIS IS TRUE, but SHOULD NOT and DO NOT are very different things. i think it is an unrealistic fantasy to assume that in the real world physical appearance DOES NOT play a huge role in the lives of women… the blogger goes on to address this very fact by showing how the dove real beauty compaign is powered by the same source that makes axe commercials. I think it is foolish to ignore the fact that appearance is something you are evaluated upon as a woman. WHETHER OR NOT IT IS FAIR, REASONABLE OR RIGHT.
Do i think it is right that women are made to feel less worthy if they are “less beautiful”? of course not.
But appearance is one of many things we evaluate about each other. We evaluate intelligence, kindness, level of interestingness as well. We do so less immediately because you usually have to talk to someone to get a fair idea about these things. Men are evaluated on appearance also. It carries less weight for men because, on top of biological drives that TYPICALLY make women less superficial in terms of physical appearance than men, women have historically been regarded as sexual objects for the use of men.
Is this sad and wrong? EXTREMELY.
Does this sexist injustice leave countless women convinced they are lesser people because they are not deemed beautiful enough by society? you bet.
Personally I think telling women that their looks shouldn’t matter isn’t incredibly constructive simply because it, sadly, isn’t true. Good people in this world judge others based on appearance. I don’t think it is a great thing that people do, but it is unrealistic to suppose that only terrible, highly superficial people judge others based on appearance, and that applies to both sexes.
I think encouraging people to feel empowered EVEN IN A BROKEN SYSTEM is constructive. You are born with your looks as you are born with your intelligence. You can cultivate either one as you choose, but everyone has a plateau on some level. I think its fair to suggest that a greater level of realistic self awareness that goes beyond self criticism is helpful to cultivate a more confident self.
It is unfortunate that women feel pushed toward beauty to feel confident, but i don’t think its fair to say it’s wrong.
NOTE: THIS WOULD BE MY RESPONSE TO THE ARTICULATE BLOG POST YOU SHARED. NOT A DIRECT ADDRESS TO YOU.