(Closed) You are not my husband's mother!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4068 posts
Honey bee

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railroaderwifeyxo :  I know it’s upsetting because he’s your husband, but at the end of the day, that’s his battle to fight. He needs to stand up to her. Not you. 

Post # 3
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You should have just left.  If talking about not wanting to be treated like this hasnt helped then EVERYTIME she is rude, shut her out

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Eh, this doesn’t really sound like it has anything to do with you. His 20+ years older SIL feels motherly and protective towards him… I’m sure that has benefitted him at times and been annoying at others. But they have a history together that started when he was a child, and you weren’t there for that. If he feels so bothered by it now, he should let her know. 

Also, adults or not, it’s very rude to be staying with someone and not let them know that you won’t be coming back that night. It sounds like she was up until 1am expecting them to come home. That’s why she was annoyed and snarky. They should have made sure she fully understood to not wait up. 

Post # 6
Member
8936 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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railroaderwifeyxo :  It sounds like this is just their relationship. If he’s ok with it, you need to let it go. If he has a problem with it, he’s the one that needs to address it. I understand that might be difficult due to his childhood trauma, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s HIS to deal with. You trying to fix it for him won’t be healthy or helpful in the longrun. Really though, the complaint that “she’s not his mom” is an odd one. His mom died when he was young so it’s not unthinkable that someone might take on a mom-like role. Thinking about it another way, would you be ok with her behavior if she WAS his mom? If so, then who cares that she’s his SIL instead? If she’s showing loving concern, that’s a good thing regardless if she’s his mom or not. If she’s an overbearing busybody, that’s a bad thing regardless if she’s his mom or not.

Post # 7
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yeah it’s really none of her business. She has no reason to be annoyed especially since everyone is adults and/or married. She was told beforehand they wouldn’t be staying over there. Sounds like just wanted attention or is upset they didn’t stay over at her house.

Post # 10
Member
8936 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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railroaderwifeyxo :  That’s a tough situation. Has he talked to his brother about it? How does the brother feel about his wife’s behavior?

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