(Closed) You can come to the reception only

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
13 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

@loladidntdoit: You’re welcome. Lemme know if you want to see the text from my invitation for ideas. It’s hard to find balance when trying to set boundaries, but, with practice and consistent messages, you’ll get there. Plus, it is also key that your fiance supports you when you put your foot down–a united front will work better than you standing on your own.

It is also key that they learn that trying to control you both by denying you things is immature, disrespectful, and just plain low. By showing them you won’t grovel at their feet to try to please them when they pull that kind of stuff, you take away all their power.

Post # 18
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I also found, I always see two re-occuring statements: “have the wedding you can afford” and “don’t offend anyone”. Quite often, these two hit a gray area. As much as we would have loved to invite everyone, we both have very large families, and invited our full families plus close friends and close co-workers (the people we see every day) to our ceremony and dinner. Frankly, our budget did not allow to accomodate 250+ people for dinner.

People were not offended for being invited to the reception-only. In our case, many people (especially those within our age bracket 25-30) preferred this, because they got to partake in the celebration, enjoy the late night buffet and bar, and didn’t have to “sit around” during speeches, photography lag, etc. It also “let them off the hook” for buying us a gift.


Post # 19
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

correct me if i am wrong but most people prefer to go to the reception only and weddings i been to some people made that decision themself.

Post # 20
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

If you don’t want someone attending the ceremony, don’t invite them to the reception. There is no way to word a reception-only invite that isn’t rude. It might be popular nowadays to do so, but it is still rude even if many choose to ignore that fact. Of course no one will say they are offended by it when it does happen because most people are raised (correctly) to not say anything to the couple.

Post # 21
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Be brutal – its about what you want not what the others want.  If they are true friends they will be grateful you have invited them to the reception. x

Post # 22
1074 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s weird or rude at all. People do it all the time with destination weddings, I know I will! Our ceremony will include 20 people, just our immediate families and two friends. Our reception a few months later will include family/friends and will be closer to 80 people. You simply send an invitation in which you invite them to join in the celebration of your marriage at time/location for a cocktail hour and dinner. 

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