- 10 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So now on my third iteration of planning the same wedding I have finally figured out something.
You are going to end up upsetting somebody you love no matter what you do. I am 42 years old and this is my second wedding. My first wedding I cancelled the big wedding out of being tired of fighting with everyone about size, finances, what I was going to wear (omg when my xMIL found out I was NOT wearing a veil) everything. I finally just said to my closest friends and family – “Hey I am graduating from college the weekend of May 11th – why don’t you just come up then for the wedding too”! I ended up handling the problem but always missed the wedding and never really got over the stress of all the family drama this supposedly joyous occasion can occur. My xIL almost boycotted our wedding and although they apologized a few years later it was not the best way to start anything.
We originally (for the August date) ended up quietly planning most everything ourselves. Well that got people hurt because we did not include them. However we are paying and this is an encore wedding, everyone is older and we thought that would be what families and friends wanted. Nope and when we moved the date first to Oct and now to April we have tried to be gracious and let everyone give an opinion.
So right now there is not ONE SINGLE THING about the wedding that either side agrees upon. King Solomon in all his wisdom would lock himself in the temple and get drunk off of sacred wine. We are going to end up making decisions that somebody is going to hate.
And I can live with that. I am being gentle and listening and vague and polite about everyone’s suggestions, comments, thoughts and feelings. I do care. But I have finally grown up enough to know that in the end all the hurt feelings will get smoothed over and my Fiance and I will have our special day to start our lifetime of happiness.
I feel better – I just sat there this weekend and finally figured out that I cannot solve the world’s problems nor find a common ground on most anything much less everything. The only two people that need to have that for this day are my Fiance and I.