- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
DH’s ex girlfriend caused a lot of drama at the beginning of our relationship: she was still in love with him, and was trying to win him back.
We worked through things, and he decided he didn’t want to cut her out of his life since she was such a big part of it for a long time, but would minimize contact. She lives in another city pretty far away, so it wasn’t too difficult.
She eventually started dating one of DH’s old high school friends. I met her in person for the first time and she was really cold to me, and I could tell she still had feelings for my Darling Husband (still boyfriend at the time).
Right after we got engaged, so did the ex and DH’s friend. Although Darling Husband rarely sees this friend, he was asked to be part of the bridal party. Even though we had already selected our bridal party, Darling Husband felt obligated to return the invite. I was not happy about this, but he wouldn’t relent, so he extended the invite.
Needless to say, the ex showed up at the wedding, and again acted cold to me. I was very welcoming to her and took time during the reception to talk to her and ask her about her wedding planning.
Darling Husband got a call from the groom-to-be asking us what wedding decorations we still had, and asked if they could borrow them for their wedding! I asked what they wanted, and some of the items she specifically asked for were my DIY projects, including my head table backdrop, which I had spent hours upon hours making. They also asked about lighting, linens and other stuff.
Being that it was a conversation between the guys, Darling Husband was happy to oblige, “yeah, it’s all just sitting in boxes, we’ll bring everything with us, and you can just pick through it and decide what you want to use.”
Now that he’s told the groom this, I expressed to Darling Husband that I thought it was really wierd that she’d want to recreate our wedding decor, and wasn’t sure if I was comfortable with the whole idea.
I don’t know what to do. Am I a complete jerk if I say I’m not comfortable with them using my decor? Should I just bring the lights and linens, and things anyone could buy from a store, and leave my home made decorations at home? If she’s banking on having my backdrop, and I just show up without it and they’re left with nothing, does that make me a bad person? Do I tell them ahead of time what items they can/can’t use?
Beyond the awkwardness of using these items, I just feel it creates more work for me to sort through all this stuff, pack it up, and have to stay after the wedding to get it all back. The wedding is in a town about 6 hours away, so it will not be easy to recover stuff after the fact.