(Closed) You can’t unsay stuff. (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I am the type of person who used to let things like this happen to me over and over and over again when I was younger. Now when it gets to that point I make a mental decision that I do not need such negative nasty people in my life. I believe that when you say things while imbibing more often than not those things are the real truth, the things you really mean to say but won’t when your sober.

If I were you I would not make the effort to go out of my way to see such hateful disrespectful people. You are getting married and no one needs to be in  your life who can’t support you. Alcoholism is a disease but when people keep giving you a crutch and making excuses for your poor behavior you never learn.

Just my 2 cents.

 

P.S.  Your user name wouldn’t happen to be a Breaking Dawn quote would it?

Post # 4
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

He was mad at you for not hanging around for his apology?? It’s so hard to deal with family members with alcohol/drug problems like this. But you have to keep yourself safe and healthy in order to be any help to them. He has to understand that you’re obviously going to be hurt by the things he says even if he was drunk. Take the time that you need (away from him) and hear him out when you feel like you’re ready. Don’t let him or other family members bully you into being okay with the things that he said.

Post # 5
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m sorry that you’re subjected to this unstable and nasty behaviour. I think that the only thing that you can hold onto right now would be that soon, when you and your Fiance are married, you two will be able to create a family that operates differently. Apart from occasions such as funerals etc, that will bring you all together, you can choose to limit your time with these negative and uncontrollable deadbeats. I really hope that you are planning a wedding that ensures that these people will find it difficult to attend – a remote destination; a small elopement on Mars? 🙂 You owe it to yourself and your future marriage to rid yourself of their awfullness.

Post # 6
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My father is a lot like this and because of that we have a very limited relationship. You have to set your boundaries of what you’re willing to take and live with them. You did the right thing!

Post # 7
Member
7383 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Unacceptable.  Why should you have to put up with that?

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your an adult now ….. you get to pick who you want to hang with.  I can’t believe your mom didn’t cut him off at the knees. 

 

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