Post # 1
So FI’s best friend told us last night he plans to book his wedding the weekend before ours.
We live in different states (his wedding is in our home state, where we are also getting married) so we will have to fly in for his wedding, fly home, then fly back for our wedding in one week. It’s expensive and I’m pretty unhappy about the fact that the weekend before our wedding (when we should be planning our own stuff) we will be flying in for his wedding and not doing anything for ours.
Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by this? Flights are expensive and I know we will be madly scrambling around trying to get our own stuff sorted the week beforehand. I just don’t want to be thinking about travelling for his wedding so close to ours.
He could get married any other weekend of any other month of any other year. He picks the weekend before ours. That is stupid isn’t it? Fiance is Skyping with him tonight and I know he feels bad about it. He doesn’t feel he can tell his mate to change is plans but he doesn’t want me to be unhappy either. None of my girlfriends would dream about doing something like this but guys are different. They clearly don’t understand.
What to do bees?!?!
Post # 3
Wouldn’t his wedding be Thanksgiving weekend? I would think that’s enough of a reason right there not to go. Or is Fiance going to be the BM?
Post # 4
@FauxBoho: I’m sure you’re going to get the typical “You only get one day!” responses from some Bees, but I’m on your side here. That’s annoying and a bit inconsiderate, if only for the fact that the friend knew you’d have to make 2 trips within a week.
Is there any way you can just take off work earlier than you intended and extend your stay in the state where the weddings are taking place so you don’t have to make 2 trips?
Post # 5
Other people don’t plan their life around you, perhaps it is the only time somewhere they dreamed about was open, or a very important person to them could come or they just like that weekend. So you either decided to go and fly out twice in two weeks or decline and don’t go because you can’t afford to fly twice. Don’t take it personally.
Post # 6
On the bright side, maybe it will be helpful for you guys to bring a bunch of things home for your wedding that first weekend. Then, you don’t risk a chance of forgetting anything! 🙂
I hope your Fiance doesn’t say anything to his friend. I know it sucks, but this is a happy time for his friend too, so he shouldn’t make him feel bad.
Post # 8
That’s Thanksgiving weekend. Flights are going to be CRAZY expensive.
I say, if anything, just send your Fiance. I don’t think you have to go, since it is a holiday, and the weekend before your wedding.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t worry about it. By the weekend before your wedding, I bet you’ll be happy for the distraction. There won’t be much left to do for your wedding at that point, anyway.
In theory, yes, they could get married any weekend of the year, but having been through a wedding, I know that in reality you are juggling 2 families’ schedules, venue and vendor availability, seasonal preference, etc. I thought getting a date set was the hardest part of the whole planning process. So if that’s the weekend that works for them, so be it. Hopefully you guys can go, but if it’s too much, they should understand if you cant be there.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I totally get you. You might get some of that “You only get one day blah blah blah” business, but it seems like they should at least try to take your wedding date into account. (And who knows, maybe they did? Maybe this is the only time that can work for a bunch of family, etc.) Maybe have your Fiance politely say something, just to see if his buddy has even thought about it?
Post # 11
yikes. i would not be happy about that. honestly, i probably would not go –FI could go but I don’t think I would. that could start a little bit of drama but it is not your fault. keep that in mind. it’s okay to be 100% selfish. a week before, come on! maybe they will change their mind :/
Post # 12
I’m sorry, this sucks.. but… you do only get 1 day. As long as he didn’t choose the SAME day as yours.
Post # 13
I think the guy isn’t thinking this through, why would he do that unless there was no other choice? especially if they are best friends. He probably just doesn’t realize the effects.
I am 17 days away from my wedding right now, and I can tell you there is no way I would be able to go to an out of town wedding the weekend before. Not even in the realm of possibility. We’d have to decline.
Do you guys have mutual friends who would potentially be invited to both weddings? That’s another issue to consider.
Post # 14
@sportsgal31: Thanksgiving isn’t a thing where I’m from 🙂
@s2bmrscook: yes, I expect I will get a few of those comments (ahh there is one now!)
@chasesgirl: I’m sorry, best mates shouldn’t take each other into consideration? That seems weird to me. He isn’t just some guy we know, he is one of our closest friends.
Post # 15
@FauxBoho: i would say you aren’t being unreasonable. i would just tell him i’m sorry, but we can’t come, that’s too close to our wedding. he can have it whenever he wants, but you do not HAVE to go.
Post # 16
I probably wouldn’t go. Or let my fiancé go alone.thats a lot to deal with a week before your wedding.