(Closed) You don't ask strangers if they're pregnant!! :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I am so sorry :-(. I am overweight, and I do carry my weight in my stomach. I have been asked this twice, both times by older women. Once was at a wedding reception…and when she asked, my husband laughed! He apologized right away…he said it was just such an awkward moment, he didn’t know what to do. In hindsight, I can understand…but I still wanted to smack him :-). We left quickly after that…me in tears. That ruined the night for me.

  The second time was at work. I was walking kids out to the bus when a grandparent asked me when I was due. I just said, “I’m not, but thank you so much for asking,” and walked away. Not one of my finer reactions…especially at work…but it really struck a nerve.

  It just absolutely, positively sucks to hear. It is a big, icy, jab to the heart. I’m so sorry it happened to you today…hopefully, this means that your day can only get better!

Post # 33
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry this happened to you. This happened to me twice, and both times it made me feel absolutely awful about myself. A few years ago, I was shopping in Wal*Mart when some guy came up to me and asked me if I was pregnant. I gave him an odd look and said no, and he said, “Oh, because if you were, I was going to say that I hope it’s a girl.” Wtf?? Why say that to a stranger? And then a few months ago, my fiance and I went to the jewelry store (the same one where he bought my engagement ring) to pick out his wedding ring. The woman behind the counter asked me when I was due. I was confused and asked “Due for what?” She tried to ask in a different way, until I said I was not pregnant. “Oh, I just thought because he was in here awhile ago to buy your ring…” and then tried to cover herself by saying my coat made it look like I’m pregnant. I wore that coat all winter…that did not make me feel better. Needless to say, we did not buy his ring there and the comment kind of ruined my day. People really suck. Like, I’m not pregnant, just fat, thank you for reminding me. In your case, I have no idea why someone would think you were pregnant when you weigh that little? Just goes to show you how tactless people are.

 

Post # 34
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I got asked this twice a number of years ago (actually in one case, I was wasted at a bar and a guy blocked my path and yelled at me for drinking while preggo) and I was pretty slender then. Now I’m much heavy and haven’t been asked at all. If it makes you feel better, I think it has more to do with what you’re wearing, how you’re standing and whether you just ate/drank something that makes you bloated. Actually, maybe your period is on the way and you have some premenstrual bloat going on. 

Post # 35
Member
427 posts
Helper bee

I was sitting in my BFs car when I was 16 while he was getting gas. The gas attendant asked me, “How far along are you?” I asked him, “What?!” He then asks, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” I said, “No, I am not.” I was so embarrassed! Good thing it was late and dark out or he would have seen my red-ass face! He responded with, “Oh I am so sorry! It must have been the way you were sitting!” I just laughed…very uncomfortably, mind you. In his defense, I was slouched down in my seat, I had overalls on (gotta love the 90’s LOL), and I was eating from a bag of candy (don’t remember the kind, lol) So I guess I can see why he thought that? Although I was not overweight at all at the time, I sure felt chubby after that!

Post # 36
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I went to micheals craft store. I asked someone to get something from the top shelves so they used there Wilkie talkie to call somlone to grab the ladder thing, I guess the person on the other end asked what I looked like (so that they knew who I was when they came to help) the person responded back “she’s wearing a blue shirt, she’s pregnant you can’t miss her” I almost died. 🙁

Post # 37
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@sunsetchristy:  +9,000

 

I’m 5’3 and 105 lbs.  I’m pretty small, sure, but my stomach isn’t flat either.  I always look pregnant after a large meal.  Hey, that food has to go SOMEWHERE!  

 

I’m glad that the people who have noticed that know me quite well, I would be so upset if a stranger came up to me and asked if I was pregnant.  Especially since I look way younger than I really am.  I’m just as surprised nobody’s scolded me for skipping school when I’m out and about!  (Fortunately, it’s summer and school’s out now, but before… :S)

Post # 38
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissCountryGirl727:  This happened to my co-worker recently by her superior!!!! And she’s not overweight! I live in Korea, and this co-worker is overall  slightly larger than average and considerably larger than the social ideal (tiny and twiggy) — she’s tall and strong and is apple shaped but not actually fat in the least as far as I can see.

I told her.. I have a hard time believing that people don’t know this social rule, I think in her case it was cattiness and “putting her in her place.” Does anyone really not know that you don’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her vagina at that moment?

You sound like a similar size to me, but a bit taller… I sometimes worry my pooch looks a little pregnant… >(

@AndysCraftsNmore:  Sorry… this is terrible… but I’m cracking up over here. Who thinks you’re lying about something like that?!? Who is that insane?

Post # 40
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee

If anybody gets asked if they’re pregnant in the future, here’s a useful image to print out and give to them.  Also, after reading these stories – what is wrong with people?  I’m always so careful when it comes to pregnancy questions for this very reason.

Post # 41
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I had an empire style shirt once and this was about six years ago when I first started putting weight on. Cleaning lady at the job asked me if I was knocked up, I had to laugh because frankly, I did look pregnant. 

Post # 42
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@bleusteel:  LOL exactly!  RUUUUUUUUUUUDE.  Never, ever ok.  So sorry, OP.  I would have gone home and cried through a chick flick marathon while alternating between the elliptical and bicycle crunches if a stranger said that to me, and I don’t even have a history of BDD.  Just so incredibly rude.

Post # 44
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Congratulations!  It’s a grilled cheese sandwich!

In all seriousness, though, I’m so sorry that someone made that comment to you, OP…I honestly thought it was common knowledge to NEVER say something like that to a woman, unless you know for a damn fact that she is expecting (as in, she TOLD you).  Some people!

Post # 45
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I manage a spa and we will have full on pregnant women and we won’t mention or acknowledge it until they do.  My staff ask ALL guests if they’re pregnant before relevant services just to keep it the same accross the board/regardless of appearances.

Post # 46
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’ve been asked this before and its a total blow do your self confidence… i was working retail and i was leaning over an awkward table and my customer says “ooh when are you.. and patted her own stomach” and i stood up straight and i said huh? oh i’m not… and she said oh dear i’m so sorry you don’t look pregnant at all.. and basically walked into the stock room and cried… i was like 22 at the time and looking mighty fine if i do say myself.. lol

The topic ‘You don't ask strangers if they're pregnant!! :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors