(Closed) "You don't know love until you have a baby"

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 106
555 posts
Busy bee

Sunny.Day:  Absolutely! They had flimsy arguments, a couple of which were “what would you have to talk about?” (Er… You’re providing great materiel) and “It would be upsetting” (to whom?). People just can’t live and let live. I find they’re usually unable to voice some deeper unhappiness and misdirect control issues. 

mrswhitecat:  You, lady, are the master! I have been clapping at your responses! Darling Husband thinks I’ve lost my mind

Post # 107
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Who the fuck even says this shit? I’m 31 and I don’t have kids, and nobody has ever said anything of the sort. I just don’t get it. Tell these people to shut it.

Post # 109
257 posts
Helper bee

Why do we need these shi*show threads? Parents love their children in a way we can’t understand because we don’t have children. It’s that’s simple. Yes we have boyfriends/spouses, pets, parents, siblings, friends, nieces, nephews… but no children. Women with children have lived without them so there’s a comparison to make. We can’t make that comparison and it shouldn’t matter. Stop letting other people dictate how you feel; what an incredible power to bestow on them. All I see is bitterness in some of these No Kids posts and it makes me want to distance myself from some of the other Child Free bees. I just don’t share their issues or insecurities. Where are the like minds?! 

Post # 110
484 posts
Helper bee

WasMissNowMrs: [content moderated for baiting] I imagine if I had a child it would be an incomparable experience in every way, especially in love, but that doesn’t make me want one. CFBC people will never know that experience so it’s not logical to argue about it. It’s kind of like marriage to me. Since getting married my relationship has never felt more deeper or sacred compared to when we were just dating. People who never intend on marrying will never know what that feels like so there’s no point in someone trying to ‘prove’ to me that they love their boyfriend as much as I love my husband. I couldn’t possibly know how much they love their boyfriend and they couldn’t know how I feel for my husband, so again, who really cares? Everyone is just speaking from their own experiences. If you’re secure in your stance it shouldn’t matter however tactless people can be. 

Post # 111
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

teatreaforme:  I would absolutely jump in front of a car for my husband, or yes, my cat. They ARE my family. I have chosen them as my family. My husband and I are both involved in a hobby that can have significant consequences and we practice these scenarios all the time where we would need to put ourselves at risk to save the other. He is my family. I absolutely would put my own life at risk to save his.

That may be how YOUR mom feels, but that is not a universal feeling for all moms. Most who feel this way won’t announce it publicly to their own friends or family, but look around the Internet for “regret having kids” or “I hate motherhood”, or whatever else. There are parents who abuse, neglect, and murder their children. Who choose drugs over their kids. My colleague works in child protection and the stories are horrendous. So much for “real love” in those cases.

No, I will never know what it is like to love my own child. But that is not something I feel I am missing in my life either. I also don’t know what it would be like to have a pet raptor. That’s okay. I don’t feel an absence for not having a pet raptor, OR a kid. My life feels enriched with love for and from many people in my life.

The thing is no one else here or anywhere knows what it would be for *me* to love my own child either. Individual experiences are not universal.

The topic ‘"You don't know love until you have a baby"’ is closed to new replies.

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