(Closed) "You don't know what exhausted is"

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 196
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

[content moderated for baiting/threadjacking]

 

Post # 197
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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amanda3334455 :  

We criticize any mother who comes on here to minimize our concerns or tries to speak with authority on issues that they know nothing about. It comes across as very condescending and obnoxious.

I have to say that I notice you are extremely interested in this section and you have also made some snide remarks about childfree Bees and the CFBC lifestyle. What is that about? If you enjoy being a mother so much, why are you obsessed with chiming into the discussions that childfree Bess have in order to take shots at us? 

Post # 198
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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mrswhitecat :  I just don’t like the idea of moderators being asked to determine if someone actually has a first amendment right or not.  I think too many people are being told what they are and aren’t allowed to say, and that’s not how free speech works.  If you don’t like things being said, you are welcome to state such disagreement, but you don’t get to silence those speaking by invoking a moderator to silence them.  Either do so with your own discussion points, or leave the discussion as one you find distasteful.  The internet is a double-edged sword, allowing anonymity for the sharing of feelings and ideas you may not spout at the dinner table, but it can also lead to a feeling of freedom from civility, hiding behind that anonymity.  As adults, we can choose in which conversations we engage, and while we should try to be civil, we don’t get to stifle others by determining if they are civil enough to be allowed to speak.

Post # 199
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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Isilme :  If you don’t like things being said, you are welcome to state such disagreement, but you don’t get to silence those speaking by invoking a moderator to silence them.  Either do so with your own discussion points, or leave the discussion as one you find distasteful.

Bravo. Been here for years and always see things that I don’t necessarily agree with or agree how it was worded. If you are that irritated by a topic, close the tab. It’s not that complicated. 

Post # 200
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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Isilme :  This is what I was saying earlier. Sanctimommy Bees love to come in this section to put us down, spout the same “You don’t know love” platitudes or try to stifle us. They obviously have nothing better to do with their time or maybe they miss their prebaby lives and we remind them of all that they gave up. 

Not every mother on WeddingBee is like this. There are plenty of Bees with children on this website who are confident enough in their decision to become mothers not to stir the pot on the No Kids section. The other types deserve to be called mombies and sanctimommies because that’s exactly what they are. I don’t care if Bees of their ilk are offended because they were in the wrong. 

Post # 201
Member
1483 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

By the way First Amendment protects one from governmental interference with free speech.   It says nothing about how a private entity, which would include moderators of an Internet forum like Weddingbee, may or may not react to what someone else has said.

 Kinda makes me laugh whenever someone says “Free speech! First amendment!” after encountering disagreement, because I’m like Yeah I’m not the government.  

Post # 202
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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bklynbridetobe :  

+1 People who seek reasons to be upset online are usually overprivileged so they have nothing serious to fight for in life. 

Post # 203
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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mrswhitecat :  just curiosity.. Im interested in life styles that aren’t like my own. I dont think I’m putting anyone down, but if that’s how you interpret my posts then too bad. 

Post # 204
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

[content moderated for personal attack/threadjacking]

 

 

Post # 206
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

 yes, a private entity like wedding bee can censor as it chooses.  But I find asking things to be censored like ‘I was called a name!’ To be the first step towards the government thinking it gets to infringe even more than it does. Hate speech is simply free speech someone else is offended by.  I believe in uncomfortable conversations, which can be polite or not, but that I have no more right to request a moderator to silence you, than you should me.  If you do nit like the thread, state so, and leave.

anyone who comes here to mock, negate, or vilify  people who do not have children, you will get called out on it.  That’s a free exchange of ideas, without calling a mommy oops, moderator, in to make people play nice.  If you go to a board meant to allow child free people to vent and discuss being child free, and are offended they are offended by careless comments from those with children, and then call them out for reacting in their offense.. What are you doing?

pointing out a distinction between speech able to be monitored by am private entity and the actual idea behind freedom of speech is a high school level argument.  Sure, I can ask you to leave my home if you shout profanities, and Walmart can ask me to leave as well… But overall, to enforce making me leave would require government intervention in the form of armed officers, which overall, I find a slippery slope.  

Post # 207
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

This type of post annoys me no end. I think what particularly irritates me is the closed-minded, ignorant, sanctimonious tone of it. I have endometriosis and CFS. There was a point where I was suffering with severe chronic pain, extreme fatigue (sleeping for up to 14 hours without waking, even for multiple alarms; sometimes couldn’t walk; etc), and even with that, I managed to complete my degree (this was in my final year) and also hold down a job. My social life suffered, granted; but I did it. And so I known EXACTLY what it is like to be exhausted. 

Yet, I have never posted such patronising drivel in my life. I have never thought it appropriate to post a meme saying ‘you don’t know what it is to be tired until you’ve battled CFS/8 months of constant debilitating pain/worked part-time while studying full time’ (etc). Nor, for that matter, have any of the other people I know with severely debilitating and exhausting chronic conditions; conditions for which there are no cure, from which they will likely suffer 24/7 for the rest of their lives. 

So yes, forgive me if I roll my eyes hard at this type of rubbish; forgive me if I have zero sympathy because you’re going to have a few months of sleepless nights because of a CHOICE you made… These types of people seriously need to get over themselves, and get some perspective. 

Post # 208
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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barbie86 :  

What a strong woman you are! How are you feeling now? 

I once had a mother tell me that I didn’t know pain because I had never given birth. My response was “I’ve been hit by a car and I’ve also had a tumor removed from my liver. Please tell me again that I don’t know what pain is. ” That moron was stunned and apologized quietly. 

 

Post # 209
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

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mrswhitecat :  I’m pretty well now. The endo has been held largely at bay for about 6 years now; the CFS is still an issue, I had a very bad relapse (the worst ever) about 18 months ago which lasted about a year off and on. My last episode was back at the end of January, but I have to be careful. I’m now working full-time, with usually predictable hours (about 12-16 weeks a year it’s crazy so will be like 60 hour plus weeks; the rest I do a standard 40 hours). 

But yeah, as you obviously know, it’s super frustrating! I would never ever ‘brag’ about how hard I’ve had it, which honestly is how these people come across. I just think it comes across as unbelievably ignorant; while I’ve had it tough, other people have it MUCH tougher than I do. There is nothing wrong with ranting; but the whole idea of turning it into a competition just makes me cringe.i also tend to think that those who complain the loudest often have the least to complain about. 

Post # 210
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

Well, well, well, how this thread went haywire. I just caught up on the sanctimonious tripe in this thread and can’t believe my eyes. I have no idea why anyone would click into the CFBC forum just to critique and complain…. particuarly when they have their exhausting little bundles of incomparable true love to tend on 

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