(Closed) "You don't know what exhausted is"

posted 3 years ago in No Kids
Post # 211
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I struggle with this so much all the time, even from my best friends. My husband and I have been TTC for a year and a half with no luck and are starting down the road to determining what our issues and options are to have a baby. It is so heartbreaking to have a friend say something to me in any context about “wait til you have kids! That will be way harder/you’ll really be tired, ect…the last time I heard that (2 weeks ago) my friends and I were at the beach and I mentioned how much I hate having to pack 8 million things up to go to the beach…I just grab a chair and a book and go! To which my friend says oh well wait til you have kids…you’ll have to pack up and haul your house! I responded I would love to have kids so I could back up all their crap and haul it to the beach! She immediately recognized her error and appologized, which I accepted because I love her! It was just heartbreaking…and i hear it all the time. I’ve finally started pointing it out as a couple who is struggling with TTC. everyone is fighting a battle and some mothers get blinded by their lives and forget who their comments are affecting. 

That meme makes me want to junk punch someone! I pray every night for the exhaustion and the little miracles that cause it 🙂

Post # 212
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

[content moderated for personal attack/threadjacking]

Post # 213
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

blankenshiptobe :  

I’m so sorry about your difficulty conceiving. Your experience raises an important issue about the assumptions others make when couples do not have children. Hurtful comments only worsen the pain for couples who have been trying to conceive for a long time. 

Post # 215
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ahhhd the misery contest. I have kids (twins) and yes I do k or exhaustion and I too despise remarks like this. My mom always loves to make these kinds of comments at me still, as if somehow it’s some kind of contest of who had a harder time raising children m, who was more exausted and miserable because of x circumstances. Apparently because I have a husband I don’t know true exhaustion and misery. Ok. Maybe so, but I still hate when people try to take away something so personal as pushing yourself so hard, to the point you literally feel like you can take it anymore, can’t pull yourself off the floor, but you HAVE to, for whatever reason or life circumstance involving children or not and then to have someone tell you your efforts are nothing compared to what they went through. Ughh some people are just too silly and self indulgent to see anything but themselves in every situation. 

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