(Closed) "You don't know what exhausted is"

posted 3 years ago in No Kids
Post # 121
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

Women have been raising children for YEEEEARS, and no one has ever complained about motherhood (while proclaiming it’s the best thing ever) as much as this new generation of mothers who think they are doing something no other woman has done.  We get it, you’re a mom, it’s hard work, no one cares.  You decided to have/keep/raise a child, so do it.  

Post # 122
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

CarribeanBridetoBe :  THIS. I come to all boards on WB because if I can offer any insight from my personal experiences I will, but when I come in here to offer non-judgemental opinions and experiences and see terms like “crotchfruit” “mombies” “breeders” and “sanctimommies” being posted frequently, it’s extremely off putting.

Post # 123
Member
9097 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m a new mom and I can say that while I am tired, I’ve been worse. I always thought this meme was stupid. Parents don’t have the monopoly on being tired, for fuck’s sake.

Post # 124
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

[content moderated for baiting]

Post # 125
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

mrswhitecat :  I understand what you’re saying, but I have to agree with CarribeanBridetoBe that we should still be respectful of mothers, just as we wish for them to be respectful of our choices. Not every person who is CFBC dislikes children or likes using those types of descriptors for them or their mothers, so I don’t think it’s fair to try to describe us all as being okay with them just because we need to vent. Yes, I DO get annoyed sometimes with mothers and their kids who think they know my life better than I do and yes, sometimes I do need to vent or just get it out, but calling people names never helped anybody. 

Post # 126
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that sentiment is ridiculous.  I say this as someone with four children (7, 6, 2, and 6 months).  Cancer was way more exhausting.  So are plenty of illnesses and a million situations.  I figure it can always be worse.  Kids can be exhausting sometimes, but it’s not a 24/7/365 for 18 years kind of exhaustion.

Post # 127
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

TwinkleBoss :  +1

I don’t hate kids or parents at all. I just want to be left alone about my choices. I’ve seen CF’ers get just as judgmental about parents as we say we want them to stop being towards us.

Do I joke about obnoxious kids (and parents) sometimes? Yeah, but on a case by case basis due to their actions, not their general existence. The blanket hostility by some CF people towards kids/parents is offputting even to me.

Fiance introduced me recently to the child free subreddit, and it’s very amusing, but there are some posts like, “Lost another friend to breeding.” Makes me roll my eyes so hard. You didn’t lose a friend because they have a kid. You decided even before the kid came that you would lose that friend because you don’t want to have to talk to someone with different interests and show any interest in the aspects of their life that are different than yours.

Post # 128
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I chalk it up to our society’s current obsession with one-ups-man-ship.  We seem to all feel a need to compete about SOMETHING, and yes, exhaustion is a big one, from the workplace to the home.  

Newsflash – we’re all tired, stressed, and overworked.  Kids, no kids, pets, elderly parents, sick spouses, sick ourselves, the rat race is hard on us all.  I wish we could all lift each other up more instead of looking for ways to stand on each other.  I work 40+ hours, have no kids, but my life long insomnia means that being unable to sleep when my body actually will let me (roughly 6am-noon / 2pm-5pm) has me running sleep deprived pretty much every day.  

The normal business world and the jobs in my rural community do not allow for much night work, AND having lived my ‘natural schedule’ in college I found it just leads to isolation and depression.  So I work all week on 4 ours sleep all because my body thinks it needs to be awake 15 minutes for every hour (yay fitbit for quantifying it for me).  I’m tired.  And I feel BAD for stating such to friends with kids, because I worry they take it as a challenge.  It’s not.  I’m just tired.  You’re tired, me being tired does not negate that.  I can’t imagine cancer or other conditions that increase exhaustion even more.  

It’s not a competition to prove how dedicated you are in life – we are all tired.  Let’s just agree on that and find something else to compete about – like how many kitties you’ve petted today?

Post # 129
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Itsnotme :  I can honestly say between grad school and kids; grad school was much worse when it came to sleepness nights.

Post # 130
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, I hate Memes like this from BOTH sides- parent or CFBC.  Let’s stop beating each other down for our choices, shall we?  Life is not a competition.  One person being more exhausted than another doesn’t mean the theoretically ‘less’ exhausted person doesn’t still have every right to complain about being exhausted.  Let’s show a little more compassion.

I’m a Mom to an almost 4 month old and I can honestly say the most tired I ever was is when I participated in a dance marathon- 46 hours straight no sitting down and no sleeping.  I’ve yet to reach that level of exhaustion again even as a new Mom.

Post # 131
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

leembee :  I think that the reason so many women of this generation “complain” about motherhood, while proclaiming it’s the best thing ever, is because no other generation of women have ever been under so much pressure to be both a mother and a career woman.  It’s really hard, and in my opinion impossible, to be really good at both your job and being a mother.  There are only so many hours in the day.  

 

Post # 132
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

mrswhitecat :  I’m expecting respectful discussions, what else should I expect? This isn’t a child free forum, this is a wedding forum and a “no kids” section which can encompass many topics. I don’t see why this particular topic is limited to CFBC people only, as I still have an opinion on these kind of memes and came here to offer my take on it in a supportive and non judgemental way. Another thread in here was about a phobia of childbirth/pregnancy which people with children could certainly still suffer from yet I still see derogatory terms being thrown around. You don’t see people in the Full Figured section throwing around hateful remarks about thin women and so on. This isn’t your safe space, where you can be hateful about mothers and children, this is a public forum for anyone. While I most certainly don’t condone anyone coming in here and being judgemental to your choices, I also don’t condone hateful commentary against those who don’t share your views/lifestyle. Not only is it offensive but extremely hypocritical. Seriously this kind of activity should be moderated. 

Post # 133
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

TwinkleBoss :  

I don’t hate children either. In fact, I love kids who are well behaved. 

My point is that we are not in a position to police anyone’s language to suit our preferences….especially in a public forum meant to be a place where certain groups of people can be honest about their feelings. 

Post # 134
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

mrswhitecat :  I’m pretty sure you can be honest about your feelings without using derogatory language that many find offensive. Why shouldn’t you have to police your language in a public forum? If you felt like making racist remarks should you not have to police that either because it’s “your feelings”? 

Post # 135
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

[content moderated for baiting/threadjacking]

 

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