(Closed) You get one day……(all bees need to read)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
47212 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hope you feel better having posted that.

Post # 4
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@julies1949: Ditto. There’s really no point in posting something like this; it’s only going to cause more drama and bad blood. Sometimes, brides-to-be DO need to be told that they only get one day. Sometimes, Bees say things that don’t quite relate to the original post. But there’s no need to call anyone out or go into lecture-mode.

Post # 6
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think plenty of ppl will read it and probably wont be real pleased with it. The only thing this post will solve is making yourself feel better, so that I hope you got. 

Post # 7
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Here’s the thing, probably 8 times out of 10 the bride is being completely irrational. If someone posts saying that their friend had the AUDACITY to book their wedding 3 months before hers, then the chick needs to know that “YOU ONLY GET ONE DAY”.  With that said, there have definitely been posts where I felt that the bride had every right to be upset (I think I recall one where the sister decided to get married a week or two before) but people still used the “one day” card. 

Everyones entitled to their opinion and considering this is a public forum, everyone has the right to voice their feelings. I like to believe that most people who post are truly trying to help even if they come across as harsh (again, most). Maybe the OP needs a dose of reality so she can snap out of it. 

ETA: Not “OP” of this thread but “OP” in general. Didn’t want that to be misconstrued. 🙂

 

Post # 8
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I read through the entire post and I must agree with the OP to a certain extent. There was a thread about something similar to this not too long ago.. The discussion was about the manner in which bees express themselves when they comment on posts.

And as I said in that thread – There is a thin line between being honest/blunt and downright rude. 

Post # 9
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I requested for the post to be closed..nothing good is going to come of a rant targeting the hive as a whole.

Post # 10
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Stuff like this needs to be said, because some of us are so quick to say “YOU ONLY GET ONE DAY! GET OVER IT!” Some of these bees would do really well over at The Knot. 

Some of us don’t have large families where we won’t care if they have to chose between two weddings in the same family a short distance apart. Some of us don’t have well off families where buying two plane tickets, paying for a hotel twice, getting time off of work, buying gifts, attire, ect doesn’t make them blink. 

Like I said in another thread, all of Mr. Tattoo’s family have to travel. His brother was already married, but they ran off to Vegas and only invited his sister and mom. If things were turned around and they chose to get married 6 weeks before us and invite everyone, his familly WOULD have to choose and that’s not fair. They have a small family and anyone missing from either wedding would be depressing. Weddings don’t happen often in some families. The last wedding in his family was 10 years ago and it was his dad and step mom. How is a grandmother suppose to choose between two grandchildren? A mom between children? 

Those are the type of situations that some brides are going through and telling them to get over it is bullshit. You can say all you want that it wouldn’t matter to you, but unless you are in the exact same situation then you really can’t comment on how you would feel. 

The other brides who really do think they get a year are another story. Those threads do call for bees to calm her down and tell her that she only gets one day. She doesn’t get to tell other people what they can and can’t do. There is a difference between “OMG! They are trying to get engaged two months before my wedding!!!!!! HOW DARE THEY STEAL MY THUNDER!” and “A close cousin is getting married 6 weeks before me and our family is small and aren’t able to travel to both so close together. I’m sad because we are really close to the family and it’s not fair that they have to choose.” 

But this thread isn’t about that. So, I agree with the OP. People need to read and try to understand the situation. Family is way too important to some people and they just can’t brush it off as “oh well. Make your choice. If you can’t come to my wedding, I will see you some other time.” 

Post # 11
Member
7289 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Marriage is intended to last a lifetime, only death breaking the union. The day you get married  is just a starting point, a bleak and vaporous moment that passes by effortlessly wether you realize it our not. What we should really be spending our time, money and effort on is the betterment of our future and not a few hours of a self envisioned spotlight. The real spotlight is on the middle, that which goes on in-between the start and finish.

It is a very respectable and special day, and there is nothing wrong with being invested in it mind-body-soul, but let us not loose site of marriage and its inherit value.

Post # 12
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think that a lot of the time bees post about being jealous, selfish or drama queens is because they WANT people to help them see that and talk them off the roof, so to speak and not to validate them.

Anyway, at least you recognize that this post will generate negative feelings but not sure what is going to be accomplished by it.  Except maybe more drama:)

Post # 13
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

There’s a nice way to say anything… and if there’s no way to say it in love, it probably doesn’t need to be said at all. I do think some brides that freak out a year in advance need to remind themselves it all happens in one day….. 24 hours. From the dress-wearing to the rings to the vows to the amount of family or friends involved… that only lasts one day. I think the problem arises when families are strained or friendships broken and torn up over a wedding. This shouldn’t be the case and it honestly makes me sad to think of all the drama going on out there about one day.

Your wedding is special and it’s natural, I think, to feel as though your spotlight is being ‘stolen’ when a close friend or family member has a wedding around a same time. It CAN cause tension within a family that is certainly not fun to deal with.

I do agree with you that some brides don’t need to be told about the ‘one day’ rule if they’re simply upset or emotional over a family mishap. I believe a wedding should focus on the couple getting married, the families involved coming together to make that one day super special for the couple….

 if this means family or friends or the couple being married being sensitive about closely-timed wedding in order to give both weddings attention and celebration.. that’s what it should mean.

I am planning a wedding close to my fiance’s brother’s… and have to admit that while I know I have only one day… it is HARD sometimes to share his family in our excitement. I hope and pray other bees are able to understand this special day but also let go of the hurt enough to enjoy their own special day and the people who are happy about their new marriage!

Post # 16
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When the “OMFG my brother’s friend’s fiance had the AUDACITY to plan their wedding 3 months before mine, life is unfair!” posts stop, the “You get a day” posts will stop.

I am just trying to stand up for all those bees that can’t stand up for themselves. I really do not want to offend anyone and I know I come off as a little harsh in this post but I was so upset that this issue NEEDED to be addressed”

Calm down. This is not a freedom rally for people escaping a war, it’s a wedding site. Spend more than 2 weeks here and you’ll see the drama posts never result in anything good.

 

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