(Closed) You get one day……(all bees need to read)

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

So I’ve been thinking about this thread for the past little while. 

I think there’s a point behind this post that needs to be addressed: we bees need to be considerate and compassionate.  I think that there are ways to be honest without hurting anyone’s feelings.  Regardless of how irrational a bride may be, she is still feeling that and it should be addressed, if at all, but in a kind manner and not so blunt that it hurts. 

That’s my personal opinion.

EDIT: I agree that when it comes to the 10,000th whine that it gets a bit old–but that’s how they feel and they’re allowed.  We just don’t have to whine back at her.

Post # 33
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

This is silly.

Post # 34
1334 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@maureen9004: Um, LIKE! I’m off to have a beer and enjoy the weekend:)

Post # 35
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@Button:  @Eva Peron:clearly started out saying how important marriage is in comparsion to a “wedding” . I dont’ see where there was room for confusion. A wedding is a bleep in time compared to the day to day challenges of a marriage. She’s offering a reality check.

As for the OP- sorry but some bees need a keyboard kick in the behind sometimes to remind them that rest of world doesn’t revolve around their prestigious wedding. yes in the thread you alluded to , the one day thing IMO did not need to be said. But most times I do think its used in its proper place.

Post # 36
2933 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First, OP, I appreciate your compassion and interest in keeping this a friendly place. 

Second, I dont recommed that you post threads like this addressing the WHOLE ENTIRE COMMUNITY.  “All Bees Need to Read”!?!  Sister, come on.  You’re still fairly new yourself, so these kinds of holier-than-thou posts aren’t going to win you much favor.  You’re not the rule maker, and you’re never going to get everyone to agree with you.  Ever.  Variety is the spice of life and if there wasn’t an option to freely exchange ideas and opinions, this would be the most boring website on the internet. 

Plus, lets be honest: who doesn’t love just a touch of snarky, blunt honesty?

Post # 37
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not going to jump down your throat here, OP.  I agree with your post.  I think you make a valid point about the one day thing.  I have only posted here a few times, but I’ve noticed that some people on here are unnecessarily snarky about that topic…  You’d probably get less grief if you started a thread on politics. 

Anyway, when you’re in the situation of someone in your family getting married right near your wedding (when they knew you were getting married that date) then you have a right to be upset for legitimate reasons.  It is an inconvenience to family members who would have to choose between one wedding or another, or to deal with the expense of attending both/being in both.  It DOES steal from your spotlight, too.  I’m sorry, but women who were allowed to bask in their “glory” would not understand the disappointment of not getting that special attention. 

That being said, I do believe that some posts are a bit absurd and take it to a dramatic extreme.  Like, someone said that she’d picked a date, but hadn’t told anyone.  Her friend also chose the same date (because she didn’t know).  Well, duh!  I really wouldn’t get worked up if someone who was just a friend decided to get married when I did, either.  Like I’ve said sixty thousand times, family members have to share the SAME guests.  Friends don’t necessarily have to, save for a few mutuals.

Post # 38
2570 posts
Sugar bee

Its all situational and few bees give all the details to make a real judgement.

Making an across the board statement is more judgemental and inaccurate than the “you get one day” bees.

EDIT: this is a PUPLIC board, thereby asking for the general opinion of people reading it. It you dont want people to disagree with you, tell them or go to someone else. Do not go to a discussion board with many people with many opinions.

Post # 39
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nah, I totally disagree. I will not say something just to make someone feel better or even OK about something I don’t think is remotely OK at all. If I think you’re wrong and you ask if I think so… I’m gonna tell ya so. Some brides just think it’s all about them and they’re entitled to feel however it is they feel and in the real world that’s bull. Sorry.

Post # 40
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I really can’t believe that there are people like the OP who feel the need for everyone to put their lives on hold because they are planning wedding. Expecting others to put off their happiness so that every minute detail of their day goes 100% is ridiculous. Life isn’t perfect, what makes you think everything will go off without a hitch on your wedding day? Why not focus on the actual point of the day- you combining with the one you love forever?

Guess what? I had two aunts, two uncles, one grandma at my wedding. That’s it. My family lives in another state. I didn’t expect ANYBODY to drop a couple hundred bucks on a ticket, but was very grateful for the ones who did.

So, please. Put your soapbox back in the closet, take a chill pill, and please realize that from the moment you get engaged up until the end of your wedding day- as hard as it may be to believe, the world will KEEP spinning. Other people still have lives to live and bills to pay. Heck- and dare I say it- other people may even want to get MARRIED. Don’t get hung up on it.

Post # 41
1 posts

Bnici1015: I agree with you on this. As a bride to be who has had the situation of immediate family putting a wedding close with knowing the date well in advance it can be very frustrating, stressful and disapointing. I truly believe until it has happened to you you cannot understand or judge.

I have read the “you only get one day” comments and yes some are maybe not said as nicely as they could be but bees are also right when they say it depends on the situation and how the bee is presenting the issue. 

My advice to other bees in this situation would be to collect yourself and assess the situation. You are still going to have a beautiful wedding which is all about you and your fiance and no one can take that away from you. However- if you need someone to vent to try a best friend, mother, fiance; anyone you trust and can confide in. That is where I found my support even though the bee is also a wonderful sense of support on most topics 🙂

Post # 42
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I do think that some Bees jump to “you only get one day” a little quickly, but it’s their opinion.  The bright side is, who better to hear it from than a total stranger?

Post # 43
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Ok so I didn’t read this whole thread/post b/c a lot of the posts and the OP was long, but I pretty much get the jist.

I always was on the “you only get one day side” until my sister got pregnant and is now due 3 weeks after my wedding. I am VERY happy for her, but I don’t think that I would be as upset about the timing if it were someone else other than my SISTER, my only sister. I am 29 she is 25 and married. I feel that I have waited this long to get married, I’m ready to have the spotlight on me for a while (we have also been engaged for 1.5 years and it is getting close to our wedding at this point), My sister is also probably the only Bridesmaid or Best Man who would have given me a bachelorette party, so now I proabably wont have one and I really wanted the whole engagement experience. I have two other girl cousins who have gotten married and have had children without anyone else being pregnant or being engaged at the same time and I just wanted the “me” time. I am not only getting married at the end of the year I am also graduating from school, so I will be SUPER busy and can’t throw her a baby shower. This may sound SUPER selfish, but this is how I feel, sometimes I/you have to think about yourself for once.

By The Way I didn’t expect the people in my bridal party not to get pregnant, just the due date timing, (the fact that she could actually give birth on my wedding day) and the person that it was. I know that life does not stop once you get engaged.  This is just how I feel. No one has to think that I am rational to feel this way, but I do, or did at a certain point. I just found out so it will take time to set in.

Post # 44
30 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

my gosh… I am almost two sided on this.

1. Yes, you only get one day. Being jealous or upset that someone (no matter who) is planning to have their wedding before yours seems ridic to me.

But. 2. If someone is upset about it and wants to post on here.. just write in support or leave it “bee” ..


No sense in us all supporting the drama we hate on this site.. right??

Post # 45
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@futuremrsny: You DO only get one day. I’m sorry, but it’s true. And people post on the board seeking for advice. If all you want is a bunch of comments agreeing with you, then don’t post. The onus is not on me, as a commenter, to give the advice that the OP wants to hear. That being said, calling people bridezillas because they’re a little worked up is uncalled for, but you can’t just tell people not to post dissenting opinions.

Post # 46
30 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

ya, I actually agree with you @jenniphyr

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