(Closed) You get one day……(all bees need to read)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

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@bklynbridetobe: If that is what she meant, then that’s not how it came across. There’s a difference between saying a wedding is a passing moment to saying it’s a ‘bleak and vaporous’ one…

Post # 48
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Just a couple days ago I posted “You only get one day” in a post that’s been mentioned here (the one about the cousin 6 wks earlier) I am very blunt and when I said it I meant it. The bee is not for people to confirm, agree, and console, on all posts. I’ve posted stuff before and needed people to tell me I was being irrational and in those cases where I was being irrational it was a good wake up call to get slapped in the face and knocked out of my emotional insanity.  So I will always be blunt and honest. That’s me here and in IRL.

DH’s family is all from out of state and many out of the country.  We got married on December 11th which meant some people wouldn’t come because they were traveling for the holiday in a couple weeks as well and for financial reasons they would never be able to afford both trips. I know its different than having someone chose a wedding date close to yours, but it was the same effect. My sister and Maid/Matron of Honor was also 8 months pregnant at my wedding, never once did I think to myself,”I wish she didn’t get pregnant now”, “I hope she doesn’t have my nephew before the wedding” or “I wish she wasn’t stealing my spotlight” or in the tons of wedding pics where everyone is holding her belly did I feel like they paid more attention to her.  Ya know why? Because even on “MY ONE DAY” everyone else was still living their lives and I was happy that the one’s that could chose to share in our special moment and continue on with their lives at the same time. 

Post # 49
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@Button: Well when I read posts on here, I try to take posts in their entierty of rather than focusing on select words. So of course taken out of context it sounds worse than what was intended to be.

Post # 50
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t know what everyone’s talking about getting one day. One? I get the whole year, baby. 365, 24/7. Imma shakin’ mah bootay each day, walkin’ down the street saying, “Oh yeah, this day? It’s mine. That one? It’s mine, too! Uh huh, dat’s right.”

Alright, alright, I’m kidding. I think we all need to relax. If so-and-so is getting married just before or just after one’s wedding, if someone is pregnant during the wedding, if a marching band parades right through my ceremony, I don’t care. We need to rejoice for all wonderful things happening around us and for us. My celebration will ensue, my love is with me, and that’s all there is to it.

Post # 51
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I guess I don’t understand why people get so upset about people not coming to their wedding.

Hell, we planned a destination wedding so we wouldn’t have to feed and entertain a bunch of people who were there bc it was convenient or they felt obligated. I loved getting my “no” rsvps!

If someone in the family plans a close wedding after you and people decide not to come to yours get excited! You get presents without having to feed and bullshit with them. And besides that, no one will ever blame you.. the other bride gets the heat. Score.

I mean, hell.. I’ve never been *excited* to go to a wedding. Halfway through the day I’m thinking, “Oh damn, I better get in the shower so I’m not late.. wonder what old go to reception dress I can pull out of the closet..” And when we do get there, I’m looking for the free champagne.

No one is as excited about your wedding day as you are. Period. We planned what I thought was the coolest most beautiful reception EVER on a yacht.. and most of our guests bitched the whole time about how cold it was out on the decks with the wind blowing.

Unbunch those panties.. there’s only a few people who really care about your wedding, and you’re either marrying them, or paying them.

Post # 52
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I know i’m just perpetuating this by even posting but…. for real?

I just want to put it out there, just a little Public Service Announcement…. even if your mother gives birth to a green alien baby with 3 heads who was conceived by immaculate conception at your rehearsal dinner, on your wedding day all the attention WILL be on you. You can’t really ignore a lady in a big white dress. There’s plenty of fawning to go around.

So, with that in mind, people do need to chill out on the “OMG, my sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s best friend’s aunt’s dog had a birthday the same year as my wedding!!! HOW DARE THEY!!!”

Post # 53
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@zippylef: green alien baby almost made me pee my pants LOL

Post # 54
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

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@zippylef: my sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s best friend’s aunt’s dog had a birthday the same year as my wedding

what a bitch!

Post # 55
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with you that sometimes people can stand to use more tact in way they give feedback, especially to the really emotional posts.  IMO, using a little tact, restraint, and respect is much more productive and goes way further in actually affecting an emotional poster’s outlook and behavior.  A snappy reply just makes them defensive and more upset.  It depends on whether a responder’s goal is to actually be helpful to someone or to just make a point and be right.  So yes, I definitely understand what you mean.

That said, you made a pretty harsh blanket statement and used some really condescending language.  Take it easy, OP!

Post # 56
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

LOL . you girls  are crazy.. I never understood the self entitlement that I sometimes see on here. For most people attending weddings are a pain. Its the truth. Ofcourse people tell you. ‘oh we can’t wait, blah, blah , blah” but the fact is unless you have lots of loot to pay for hotel room/car rental/gifts (and other misc exepnses) and unlimtited vacation days, its hard as hell. But instead of being grateful for those that can make its – iyd still not enough. Some brides still need to be the Queen of SHeeba and rule the months before and after their coronation. Then others want the bridal shower and bacholrete party time too. So its not just a day, its more like 3-4 days.  Get over yourself.

Post # 57
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I disagree, there is nothing wrong with pointing out to someone that “it’s only one day” because it is. Calling someone a bridezilla because they are upset about something, isn’t right. Really people just have to take the post in it’s entirety and decide from there if any comment is appropriate.

As for the being upset about someone getting married near your wedding date, or someone being pregnant and being upset, I don’t get it at all! My sister, who was in the wedding was 8 months pregnant at my wedding, two of my cousins, who knew about my wedding date before they set theirs, as they were invited before they had gotten engaged got married within a 2 months of my wedding, causing a few of my family members to be unable to come, about half of my already smaller family didn’t come to my wedding because of my cousins wedding. On the day of my bridal shower/bachelorette party (done on the same day due to having two bridesmaids who lived out of state), two of my close friends were having their bachelorette party, and they knew about mine prior to them planing theirs, those same friends got married a month before my wedding. I wasn’t mad, or upset about any of this. Yes I was a little bummed out that they couldn’t join me, but I was truly happy for them, and happy that they could join could be there for me in whatever way they could be!

As for my pregnant sister, I never once worried about her going into labor, or stealing my “spotlight”. I had my fiance’s attention, and he was the one that mattered, at the end of the day we were married and everything else was just the icing on the cake. I was honestly more worried that my sister wouldn’t be able to stand up there with me due to being uncomfortable as she was 8 months pregnant, and made sure there was a seat in the front row for her just in case.

So long post short, I understand what it’s like, and I still don’t understand, because the “spotlight”, and “basking in the glory” were having my FI’s attention, and marrying him.

Post # 58
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Chill out cockers. This is meant to be a forum about getting married, not slagging each other off. Some people need to wind their necks in!

Post # 59
Member
7996 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I didn’t join weddingbee to kiss ass.  Of course we all need to be civil, but we don’t all need to be telling other bees just what the want to hear- that would not be productive.

Post # 60
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

when someone comes on here to ask for advice,  then thats what we do. 

should we all now cow-toe  to people and just tell them what they want to hear? 

just wondering?  

if i had a problem,  to the extent i needed  to get advice from WB,  i would not kick people in the teeth for the advice they gave me.  if the person in question doesnt want to hear all the advice, good OR bad, then its best kept to herself really….

Post # 61
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@eloping:

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!

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