YOU GUYS. Which is better?

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Which order?
    Ring shop together, give him a few options that you love to choose from, so he can propose with it. : (92 votes)
    81 %
    Let him propose with a stand in ring, then shop for the actual ring together after. : (14 votes)
    12 %
    Other ideas? : (8 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    We shopped together and I actually ended up picking my exact ring… but the proposal itself was still a wonderful surprise, and seeing my dream ring in person took my breath away!

    Post # 17
    Member
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I hate surprises and have pretty strong feelings about designs and aesthetics. We also gravitate towards pretty different designs in jewelry. We didn’t have an official/formal proposal, we just discussed and decided “Yup, it’s time to set a date and get married.”  

    I was primarily in charge of sourcing the diamond I wanted and then working with the jeweler who did a custom ring.  My SO was involved in the search, but I was in the driver’s seat.  I have a lot of fond memories of cracking open a bottle of wine and curling up on the couch together, looking at loose stones and inspiration images.  

    It worked well for us, but I can see how it might not work for someone who really values the element of surprise.

    Post # 18
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    We went shopping with the idea of me picking out 2-3 rings, and him picking out the final ring. I have lots of preferences…I hate rings that are too bulky, and I wanted to ensure that a regular (NOT curved) wedding band would sit flush. Well, as it turns out, I hated everything except for solitaires so that’s what he got! I wanted the ring he proposed with to be the forever ring…for me, a stand-in ring wouldn’t be as sentimental. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    We shopped together and I prefered that. He did have 2 stones to choose from, so that was a little bit of a surprise. But I had narrowed it down to 2 settings (rose gold with marquis diamons set east west or white gold with a pinched setting and U prong side stones)  and I was just going to let him choose, but I absolutely fell in love wiht the rose gold setting. I, honestly, would have been disappointed with the white gold, and I’m not good at hiding it, so I know he would have been able to tell. So in the end, had I narrowed it down to a couple of choices, I would have either ended up disappointed, or I would have been SO OBVIOUS that I would have known what I was getting anyway!! It was still a surprise when he proposed, as after I picked out the setting I had no idea when the ring was going to be done, and I didn’t want to know. In fact, every time he would call me to “help” with something in the house I’d fix my hair and think “this is it!” and then he would be like “can you help unload the dishwasher? can you put a bag back in the trashcan while I take out the trash? can you help me fold this sheet?”!! I had a lot of fun with it! In fact, the one time I didn’t suspect anything at all was the day he did it! So it is entirely up to you, and really how much say you want in your ring. I thought I would be fine with anything round, but it took a while to get the right color of stone (ice blue sapphire) and once I saw it with the rose gold, all 3 of us gasped (me, my hubby and the jeweler!) and I knew that was the one! I am really proud of my ring, I haven’t seen another one like it and I loved that we desinged it together! 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2438 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We went out looking at rings, and I sent him pictures of ones I liked. But he picked it out. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    misslucy :  Honestly this sounds like a blissful experience! So romantic and a real together thing to do 🙂

    Post # 23
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee

     

    newbeegirl :  I agree! I think it was special bonding experience for us.

     

    I also wanted to add that I do have a friend who doesn’t like the ring her FH picked out. It’s a beautiful ring, but not what she wanted and by the time he proposed, the return period was nearly up and she didn’t say anything right away because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so now she’s stuck with that ring.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I told my fiance what I like (white gold solitaire, no halo or anything else gawdy about it) and he went out and got exactly what I asked for. It was nice that HE could do the choosing, but I knew I would get what I like. And he did perfectly 🙂 

    We didn’t formally shop together though. It was all verbal.

    Post # 25
    Member
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

    I have him some options from my Pinterest board, he picked his favorite, and I modified a few things. The problem with ring shopping first is you’ll be stuck with something from a brick-and-mortar store which will likely be more expensive than what’s online (unless you do the Pinterest board thing). Just something to keep in mind! 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    ladama : I post it a lot, but I’m always happy to share new pictures! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1780 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    ladama :  thanks! I love it and it changes color! I always knew I wanted a sapphire but it wasn’t until I started looking into them when I realized I just LOVED the ice blue or Montana blue! We worked with a local jeweler after getting some ideas on Pinterest. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    594 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    After it was clear that marriage was on the horizon I went to look at settings I like. I found about 7 settings I liked on 4-5 websites. I made a file with links, added two educational websites about diamonds and the 4Cs, gave him my preferences for 3 of the 4Cs and sent it to him.  And he did great. 

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors