YOU GUYS. Which is better?

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Which order?
    Ring shop together, give him a few options that you love to choose from, so he can propose with it. : (92 votes)
    81 %
    Let him propose with a stand in ring, then shop for the actual ring together after. : (14 votes)
    12 %
    Other ideas? : (8 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    ladama :  My fiancé and I looked at diamonds together and I told him the diamond cut I loved. I also said I wanted something simple and wanted the diamond to be the focal point and left it at that, he did perfect!

    Post # 32
    Member
    562 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: London, UK

    I designed the ring myself and we ordered it together. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2020

    We looked at a few jewelry stores and then took the search to online.  I created a Pinterest board of what I liked and he chose from there.  If this is something you will be wearing the rest of your life, it’s nice to be able to have a say in what it is.  

    Post # 35
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee

    We talked about getting engaged, then went and looked in store. In store wasn’t that helpful for me since nothing fits in stock size, but at least it was a start. Then he asked for a google doc, which I made, with sizing info, metal colour prefences, stone shape and a handful of links to different rings that I liked. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee

    I enjoyed picking out my own ring, but I’m very particular. I also would have loved anything he picked for me though, but he waited too long lol 

    Post # 37
    Member
    1160 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

    ladama :  We shopped for several styles and found a few that I liked and would have been happy with. Then we found one that I LOVED and we both knew he was gonna pick that one ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 38
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    Unpopular opinion here, but my Fiancé was SET on picking the ring and I absolutely LOVE IT. I didn’t give any hints or help nor did we shop together. And yes I’m a picky person, but it’s so me, & it honestly really adds to the sentiment of the ring ๐Ÿ–ค

    Post # 39
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee

    I asked my SO what he thought I would like and he said “a square.” Soo, I am glad we went through the process somewhat together.  We went to Tiffany to look at diamond sizes and the Tiffany setting since we both liked it online.  He took the info he learned about our carat size preferences (my personal preference max was 1.5 carat) and searched around for the most Tiffany-like setting.  He asked me about 2 settings and showed me pictures to see if I had a preference between the two and we both preferred the same one.  He ended up going with a Whiteflash ACA in the Vatche U113 and I am absolutely in love with the ring, the way we went about the process, and of course, him ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 40
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee

    I did all the research and shopping and picked the exact diamond, setting, and jeweler for my ring. My fiancé picked it up when it was finished and planned an elaborate surprise proposal and engagement party. It was perfect except for one thing. 

    I cheaped out on my own ring and ended up with a smaller stone than I really wanted because I felt silly spending so much. Now I’m looking at upgrading my stone to a larger one and it makes me sad that my proposal ring will be changed so soon.

    If I could do it over I would probably still do all the research, but then just tell him what I like and let him pick the actual stone and setting. What I wanted was pretty simple and specific so he easily could have picked out exactly what I wanted in a setting, and then the stone would have been his choice. I know that when I buy gifts for people I never feel guilty spending a lot of money but I always feel guilty spending a lot on myself, so if he had picked for me, he would have just spent what it cost to get the exact stone size I wanted.

    Post # 41
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

    My fiance proposed to me without a ring, and then we went and picked a ring together. I’m really glad too because he knew the sort of ring I THOUGHT I wanted but then I picked something totally different. He suspected that might happen which is why he decided to propose without the ring. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Post # 42
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee

    When my SO told me to start looking for rings, we went into it with a similar idea. Find a few favorites, and let him pick from those. Welp, that turned into us going through an international designer (StarsGem) and designing the ring ourselves. Honestly, although it ‘ruins’ the surprise of the ring, in a sense, I’m so glad we went this way. We got to pick exactly what we wanted the ring to look like. I had spent so much time trying to find the one, and couldn’t, but getting to make it meant that I could. In the end we got to put some sapphires in which are his birthstone, and we got to tailor it exactly how we wanted. The idea of picking a few and letting him pick from that is a great idea, just make sure you don’t favorite one over the other and then get upset if he doesn’t choose that one!! I think I’m still going to be surprised, I don’t get to see the ring when it arrives until he proposes, so that keeps that surprise factor for me. I agree though, about having the ring when he proposes so that you can have it for pictures, I don’t think I would want to have pictures with a stand in ring and then have it change, but that’s me personally. Good luck!! 

    Post # 43
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I liked the idea of choosing a few and letting him choose, but I knew I’d end up preferring one of them and I didn’t want to be disappointed and upset him if he chose the wrong one! So in the end we went ring shopping together.

    But will be getting a new engagement ring soon. My current ring is a small tanzanite cushion with diamond halo and shoulders. But tanzanite is soft and I’ve chipped it, so I don’t feel comfortable wearing it too often! And we have decided that we’ll choose the stone together (OEC AVR) and he will choose the setting based on inspiration pictures of vintage designs (love some intricate metal work on the shoulders!).

    Post # 44
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I gave my best friend all my likes and dislikes and had a Pinterest board of things that I REALLY loved (nothing that I was at all “meh” about).  Then FH and my best friend sorted it out together and he chose my ring so I had no idea what it was.

    Post # 45
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    I had shown Fh my Pinterest board and Instagram saves but Fh said if he was spending a substantial amount on anything, especially a ring I’d wear forever, he wanted it to be something I 100 percent loved and wanted. Which makes sense. It’s a huge purchase. So we went shopping together with the intention of picking two or so for him to choose from and I am sooo glad we did! Of course I would have loved anything he got me, but turns out I didn’t like what I thought I liked and am super picky, didn’t actually like the #1 ring on my board in person and it took us three months to find, the one. We weren’t looking for, meh this will work but, the ring to rule them all ๐Ÿ™‚ Now would I have been happy with any ring, of course, it’s about him not the ring. But we found my dream ring, the one! I never want an upgrade! After it took 6 weeks to be made, and of course never having seen it in my size or with the actual diamond it was a surprise and sooo special, the proposal was perfect! Fh could be confident that the ring was perfect and that I love it and I’m glad I could give him that. 

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