(Closed) “You have a year to send the gift” – is this an Etiquette Urban Legend?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

Well I have a friend that delivered her gift on the couple’s one year anniversary so it does happen.  I personally think its a lil bogus!  Gimme my d–n present!  JK (kinda)

Post # 4
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

according to etiquette–yes, you have a year!

I think a year is a little bit too late.  We’re three months later and I’m fairly sure we weon’t be receiving any more gifts.

I think it’s probably allowed, but I wouldn’t recommend it!

Post # 5
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t know if this is an urban legend per se but WHO wakes up 8 months after someone’s wedding and says “hmm I think I’ll get my friends a wedding gift today even though their wedding was 8 months ago”???  If anything, most people are excited to get you gifts and send them early.  I think it’s safe to assume that if you haven’t received a gift from someone two months after the wedding, it’s not going to happen.

My dad always uses this russian saying which losely translates to “A spoon would really go well with this soup.”  Meaning, everything has an appropriate time.  A spoon should come out with your soup course and  a gift should be given AT the celebration.

Post # 6
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Oh my, I could not agree more. We are 10 days away from our 1 year anniversary, and I got a call from my mom last night saying that friends of theirs said they mailed us a check a week or two ago and did we get it yet. We of course moved 2 months ago so hopefully it will be forwarded. But here’s the kicker, this lady told my mom that someone told her that you’re supposed to contact the bride a little before her 1 year anniversary and see if there is anything she needs now, blah blah blah. I told my mom that that probably only applies if they gave a gift at the wedding. I would never go to a wedding without a gift in hand. We did get a gift 4 months after, but I figured that was it. The whole “year to give a gift” is crazy, if it is in fact “true”.


Ahh, I miss the hive!

Post # 7
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ve only heard about this on Curb =) LOL

Post # 8
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think a lot of people say it (much like the bride has a year to send thank you’s).  Both I think are ridiculous!!  Definitely an urban legend.

Post # 9
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ive heard you have a year but really…. how many people wake up 8 months after the wedding and say “im off to buy ted & carol their wedding gift today”

and what about the thankyou notes…. a bride generally wants to get them done soon after the wedding so they are done but how do you thank to a couple that attended only for a free feed

edit: heheheheh Meowkers – we pretty much had the exact same thought!

Post # 10
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have to chime in here, because I had NEVER heard of this before weddingbee….EVER.  I actually own Emily Post’s etiquette book and looked this up just the other day, because I started to wonder if I just never knew of this rule…..well, it is completely NOT TRUE!  I will quote directly from the book……

“Although ideally the gift is sent before the wedding there are times when that is not possible.  If you send the wedding gift after the wedding, send it to the couples’ new address if you have it, or to the couple in care of either set of parents.  When your present is not sent until some time after the wedding, it would be a nice gesture to send a note with your gift, giving the reason for the delay.  There seems to be a common misconception that wedding guests have until the couple’s first wedding anniversary to send a gift.  This is not the case.”

I hope that this clears it up once and for all.

Post # 11
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I always get a gift right away but I know my friends all think that the you have a year rule is true, which is annoying and does not bode well for my wedding.

Post # 12
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Well here ya go… Sunday was our one year, we got a gift yesterday and one today… one is a gift card to where we were registered… this would have been great when we were completing our registry.. A YEAR AGO! So now 2 gifts (technically) more than a year after our wedding. And exactly, what do I do about thank yous now? It will be hard to not sound bitter in them. Haha.

Post # 13
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, you have a year!  

I’ve done the lots of time (especially if its a marriage that seems like it won’t last long).  Terrible, I know, but if the bridal party is doing an “over/under” on how long the marriage will last, I’m not running out to get a present. 

Post # 14
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Not sure if it’s urban legend or not, but my Fiance is living it. lol His co-workers got married months ago and a lot of people from their work didn’t give a gift until later…  They were saying that they have one year to buy gifts (including my FI).   I am not sure if all of them have bought something for the couple by now, but I know my Fiance hasn’t, and I don’t think it’s on his mind, either. lol

Post # 15
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I heard of one woman not sending a gift until the 1 year anniversary. She was doing it to make sure the couple’s marriage lasted the year.

Post # 16
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Thank you Emily Post!

@irwedd that is horrible for someone to wait a year “to be sure it lasts” How mean! Did she tell the couple she was doing that for that reason?!

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