Post # 1
My bride friend is very concerned that her wedding appear glamorous and classy. She’s always saying things she doesn’t like look “cheap.”
The problem is, she said my earrings were “cheap-looking costume jewelry.” I’m a bridesmaid. What she didn’t know was that the earrings I had on weren’t costume jewelry at all. I actually own large authentic rubies accompanied by white sapphires set in sterling silver. They were NOT cheap. They were a Christmas gift from my husband.
Also she said my coat looked cheap. It’s a 2013 fall Burberry from the runway collection, patent leather, NOT cheap at all.
Do I bother pointing this out? Or is that bitchy? I’m getting tired of my tastes being called “cheap.” Often times the articles she’s insulting aren’t even things having to do with her wedding. Do I just need to let this go?
Post # 3
@oldmatron: I would certainly point out that she is being rude!
Post # 4
I’d point out that she is being bitchy. If she’s so concerned about you looking cheap, I’d tell her to buy you things that she likes. Simple solution.
Post # 5
@oldmatron: Haha excuse my cursing but your friend sounds like a fn bitch! That’s rude. Seriously it’s not about material things it’s about their love for each other. Ugh.
Post # 6
@oldmatron: Either way, you need to address her insulting your things.
Post # 7
@oldmatron: I’d probably say “To set the record straight, the items you are calling ‘cheap’ are actually designer and authentic. But, regardless, I’d rather look cheap than be a bitch.”
Good day, I say!
Post # 8
I’d just say, “well feel free to donate to my ‘get classy’ fund anytime you want.”
Post # 9
Is she going to criticize all of her guests if they don’t show up wearing what she deems acceptable?
She’s being a bitch. Point it out to her and tell her she needs to pay for your superior items if she’s so damn well concerned about it.
ETA: Imagine how she’s going to react to people in pictures not looking perfect or wearing “cheap” items to be preserved in her now-not-pristine photos forever. Ewwwwww. Shut it down.
Post # 10
@icanhearyousmile: She did do a public post on Facebook that included a definition of “black tie.” Apparently she expects her guests all in full length dresses and tuxes. What I think is cheap is that her wedding spans dinner and only includes appetizers, not a full meal.
Post # 11
Maybe she has a different definition of “cheap” than you do.
I know the literal way to to interpret it is “inexpensive,” but that’s not what it means to me. Expensive earrings and Burberry clothing can “look cheap” to me, and a $7 item of clothing can look “not cheap” to me.
You mentioned “classy,” I assume this is what your friend was trying to get at.
Think: Understated, timeless, neutral colors, not too loud, not too revealing, not too baggy, not too glitzy, not too ANYTHING! It is the goldilocks zone of “juuuust right.”
A patent leather coat could easily be too loud and shiny. Genuine earrings that are very large or flashy give a costume jewelry (or more accurately “over-the-top”) vibe, even if they’re the real McCoy. I haven’t seen your coat or earrings, but I’m guessing the coat and earrings are “loud” items if she mentioned them.
“You look cheap” is a TERRIBLE way to phrase it to someone, but I don’t think it means “I think your clothing is inexpensive.” It’s more like, “Your adornment is going too far in one or more directions, for my personal taste.” But it’s very rare you would even say that to a person…only if they asked. You’re her bridesmaid, so you’re not going to be wearing your patent coat, right? And if she doesn’t prefer you to wear the earrings on that day, she should have simply said “those earrings don’t fit with the aesthetic I’m going for.”
She may (or she may not) know how to dress in a “classy, not cheap” way, but she doesn’t know how to speak to a friend in that way.
Post # 12
@oldmatron: Hahaha, that is GREAT! I’d just give her a knowing smile–you can’t buy class OR good taste!
Post # 13
What I think is cheap is that her wedding spans dinner and only includes appetizers, not a full meal.
Post # 14
I think its kind of ironic that the things she was calling “cheap” were all expensive items. LOL I think you definitely should say something to her…you don’t want to keep having to deal with this until her wedding day.
Post # 15
@oldmatron: I would call her out just to show her how ridiculous she is being. One time being embarressed by calling ruby earrings or an expensive coat cheap and she will likely shut her mouth because it shows she doesn’t know what cheap is
Post # 16
Again, people use the phrase “looking cheap” not to mean “looking like the clothing is inexpensive.”
The actual irony here is that she wants classy dress, but she went about asking for it in a very unclassy way.