Post # 32
@joya_aspera: I am with you on this one! The saying “Money can’t buy you style” comes to mind.I have seen really expensive items,that look tacky and cheap, and if I hadn’t seen the label or logo,I would have thought “how cheap looking”.Also, things can look expensive and not be,as joya aspera said, something that is understated and timeless goes a long way.
Post # 33
Wait, she wants people to go all-out for black tie and they’re not even getting dinner?
If you wanted to, you could totally point out how “cheap” that looks, but then you would be just as rude as she has been thus far, and there’s no point in that. It’s probably better to call her out on how “cheap” her behaviour seems – abrasive, uncomfortable, unrefined, incredibly low-class. See what she says to that.
Post # 34
Let the cards fall where they may.
She can call you cheap and you can call her tacky, misinformed and rude.
Post # 35
@oldmatron: I don’t think I’ve ever met a Burberry coat that’s looked cheap, but honestly no matter how many times she said that I wouldn’t say anything. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and if it makes her feel better to call your belongings cheap, so be it. That’s her hangup, not yours.
As @BrandNewBride: said, a knowing smile is all you should be giving. Take it in stride… You can always laugh to yourself about her ‘black tie’ affair not serving people dinner. Which is hysterical, unless someone owns a tux, they’re renting one.. for a wedding where they’ll more than likely go home hungry. Sounds like a ball.
Post # 36
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@oldmatron: Apps only and she expects black tie? I would be pissed if I came dressed for black tie and didn’t get fed a plated meal with at least 3 courses. There are certain expectations by guests when black tie is expected to be worn. I would find something else to do on the day of her wedding because it’s going to be a huge bust.
Post # 37
@oldmatron: How insulting!!! Regardless of whether or not she agrees with your fashion tastes, she shouldn’t be saying it looks cheap. Next time she makes such a comment, you should give her a gracious one-upper and say, “well it certainly wasn’t cheap! it’s real/authentic, I got it from the Burberry store, blah blah blah.” This response should suffice even if she meant cheap as in looks distasteful to her.
Post # 38
Your friend may be feeling a little jealous of your clothing and jewelry and maybe is worried that you outshine her or are more stylish than she is. So because of her insecurities she lashes out calling things cheap.
I may be in the minority but posting you own a $4000+ designer coat with details of it being a runway design doesn’t scream class to me either, but I’ve never been one to flash labels. Your friend is probably feeling sub par combined with wedding stress and there you go.
Post # 39
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
@MrsSkeletonKey: +1, couldn’t have said it better!
Post # 40
I am sorry that your friend doesn’t have the best tact. I am not sure if she means cheap or classy, but either word is hurtful. However, spending a lot or over paying doesn’t mean that something is classy or stylish either. I wish that you would have posted photos of the earrings and coat. You know what the items cost; plus, they are sentimental. To the rest of the world, sterling silver and white sapphire jewelry can be costume jewelry and a patent leather coat can look cheap. Style, class, and cost are 3 different things that can happen together or not at all.
I suggest that you give her an etiquette book and a dictionary or thesaurus for a wedding gift.
Post # 41
@oldmatron: I’d point it out: “how do you define cheap exactly? Burberry costs x and I don’t know about you, but that’s not cheap. Maybe cheap means jealous.” 😀
Post # 42
Maybe she’s jealous of these items and is calling them cheap/tacky whatever because of that? Does she know that these are designer peices? I would not be throwing it in her face either way though. I don’t think it’s going to change her mind or behavior.
Just say “I’m sorry you feel that way” and leave it at that. If someone has made it this far in life not realizing that you shouldn’t call peoples things “cheap” to their face, I’m not sure a witty comeback is going to fix that. As satisfying as it would be, I think it would probably add fuel to the fire.
Post # 43
@oldmatron: i’d totally point it out. she sounds jealous. 😉
my friend told me once in front of our other friends that i looked like a ‘starving african child’ because i had lost weight (like 5 pounds, seriously). and i straight up told her i thought that was insensitive and unkind, and that if she was truly worried about my weight or health she would have spoken to me in private. pretty much shut her up.
for the record, i body build and am by no means underweight.
Post # 44
@misslineman: the coat was well under $4,000. And I’m actually with you on not owning designer stuff. The coat is my only real exception to that. It was a splurge with a long back-story of sacrifices I’ve made and deaths I’ve grieved that led to me to justify deserving such a thing… Perhaps the fact that it was so outside my regular realm of purchase-power was what made me even more offended that she thought it looked cheap.
As for the earrings, I gather white sapphires are no diamonds, and sterling silver is no gold, but I do think the rubies keep them firmly out of “costume” category.
I think more of my anger is that she is always tossing around critisim as if she’s a fashion expert (which clearly she is not), and I never say anything negative about her style selections. It’s not because they’re infallible, either. My honest take on most of what she wears is that it’s poorly tailored to her figure, giving it a frumpy look. But there’s no point in putting someone down for having different tastes.
Post # 45
@oldmatron: What’s cheap is having a black tie affair where the guests all leave hungry and stop by McDonald’s on the way home.
Post # 46
Oh I would definitely point out that those are real jewels and a Burberry coat. She deserves it.