(Closed) You waited HOW long before getting engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: How long were you dating before you got engaged? Are you happy with your decision?
    Dating : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Dating : (7 votes)
    2 %
    Dating 1-3 years before the engagment, wish we had waited longer : (5 votes)
    2 %
    Dating 1-3 years before the engagment, couldn't be happier! : (120 votes)
    38 %
    Dating 3-5 years before the engagment, wish we had waited longer : (1 votes)
    0 %
    Dating 3-5 years before the engagment, couldn't be happier! : (71 votes)
    22 %
    Dating 5+ years before the engagment, wish we had waited longer : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Dating 5+ years before the engagment, couldn't be happier! : (106 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 91
    42 posts

    7 months!

    We met in our late 20’s after being done with school and we both knew what we were looking for, and he kept saying we’d get engaged at the one year mark, but I guess he couldn’t wait!  Haha!

    We are now happily married and couldn’t be happier! 🙂

    Post # 92
    2814 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We waited 6 years before getting engaged, 8 before getting married. We started dating when we were 17/18.

    I think there is nothing wrong with waiting a longer amount of time. I knew EXACTLY at that time there was no going anywhere else. We went through so much, and at that point knew we were capable of withstanding it all.

    Our wedding was relaxed, perfect and beautiful. I was still excited to marry him.

    Post # 93
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    DBF and I have been together for abour two years. But most likelly, it’ll be another 2-3 years of dating before we get engaged, and another two years after that until we marry. We’ve kown that we’ve wanted marriage for ages; in fact, I think we first mentioned it before we were officially dating. But as much as part of me wants marriage soon, it wouldn’t make any sense for us at this point. Although we were serious from the very beginning, I was 17 and he was 16 when we started dating. That’s the main obstacle – we’re in the wrong place in our lives. Also, we aren’t quite ready emotionally, either. This is mostly on DBF’s part, but it’s also a factor for me.<br /><br /><br />I am really happy with where DBF and I are, but part of me would prefer to be further along. Not just in our relationship, but in life. But I fully acknowledge that this is my own problem; I have always had difficulty enjoying being young. Even as a girl, I wanted to be in high chool when I was in junior high, and I pined for college when I was in high school.. Now that I’m an adult, I just want to get to “the good part” – when I can see DBF every day because we live together, and when we are no longer students.

    Post # 94
    516 posts
    Busy bee

    We waited for many reasons, even though we began dating while in our 30’s.  At this point in my life, I agree it would be “silly” to do the all-out ceremony, etc., because the marriage is the denouement of our story–not the wedding.  Unfortunately, too many young couples put more focus on the wedding than putting thought into what being married will feel like, look like, etc.  Our commitment to each other isn’t any less or “silly” because of our choice to wait.

    Post # 95
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    chickspartan:  We were together 6 years before getting engaged. I was incredibly determined to graduate college first, and I did. We also lived together for 2 of those years. I don’t think we were better prepared than anyone else I just think we had an increiblely deep understanding of each other that can only come with time.

    Post # 96
    401 posts
    Helper bee

    I notice there are a lot of 9, 10+ year relationships…. It’s going to be our 10 yr this summer and I’m growing SO impatient. How did you all deal with the:

    “What’s taking so long?”  “When are you two getting married?”  questions? Its horrible, especially when we come back from a trip.

    Post # 97
    2445 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We were together 7 years when he proposed and it honestly still surprised me (even though I was wanting for it to happen). It’s different for every relationship. Sure we could’ve gotten engaged earlier and I wouldn’t have been any less happy. But it really chaps my hide when people generalize this way. No one truly knows the inner workings of any relationship except the two people in it. Even though we have been committed to each other for a long time, it’s not going to make our wedding day any less special when we’re actually pronounced husband and wife. We’re not taking that for granted.

    Post # 98
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    westcoast_girl: we’ve done quite a bit of travelling over the last few years and I’ve had to put up with comments like those EVERY SINGLE TIME lol. The funniest was on a trip to Mumbai when the hotel accidentally put flowers and a cake in our room with a note welcoming ‘the happy newlyweds’, I posted a pic of the hotels mistake in Facebook and my phone literally went wild…. nobody would believe that we hadn’t secretly eloped 😉

    I was happy with our timeline and wasn’t ‘waiting’ until about 6 months before it happened so it all worked out perfectly. Have you spoken to your Boyfriend or Best Friend and set any sort of timeline? Maybe he has something extra special planned for your big anniversary!!!

    All good things come to those who wait :)))

    Post # 99
    24 posts

    We dated for nearly a year (10days shy of) before getting engaged. We will have been together for over 3 years by the time we get married though most likely. We were friends beforehand for a few years and just knew it was right. We had to set the time limit of waiting at least a year to know it was right. We both need to finish our studies and save up some money before we can marry though. That day cannot come soon enough as I hate being away from him!


    Post # 100
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Backyard

    We had been togther 8.5 years, and will be 9 years when we get married, almost 10! I couldnt be happier.

    Post # 101
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    In threads like these, it’s also important to remember that those dating for 5 years, 10 years or more tended to have started the relationship at 15, 16 or 17 — so it’s not ridiculous that they would date for so long before getting engaged.

    We dated just shy of four years before we got engaged, and while the only option in the poll was “happy with it,” I really wish we had gotten engaged about a year sooner (we were well into our 20s when we started dating). That last year was a whole lot of unnecessary stress, fear and anger in our relationship…it got so bad that his mom actually wrote him a long, detailed letter on how they wanted him to marry, all of the perks of marriage, and how if he didn’t act, he might lose me. Needless to say, I think his family was operating under the assumption that a girl “giving away the milk for free” (as we’d been living together just over a year when we got engaged) would surely be getting dissatisfied after 4 years together.

    Being married has been really great. I AM happy that we were financially settled and we had weathered some big problems in the years we’d been together by the time we got engaged, though.

    Post # 102
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

      chickspartan:  He officially proposed with a ring about 11 months after meeting, though we had come to a mutual agreement to marry long before that. It was perfect. We will be married just over two years after we met. I am 32 and he is 38, though. Had we been younger it probably would have been too quick.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  sillysillybee.
    Post # 103
    1368 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We were together for just over 4 years when we got engaged, and our wedding day was almost exactly 5 years after we got together. But we met when we were 18/20 and married at 23/25, soooo actually in our circle of friends (big city, very liberal) we’re viewed as having married remarkably young!

    Post # 104
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We had been dating for about 2.5 years when he proposed. We will have been together for just over 4 years and known each other for about 16 years when we get married; we met in middle school. 🙂

    Post # 105
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2016 - The Fox Hollow

    FH and I had been together about 11 years (give or take a year or so we spent apart sewing some wild oats in college).  Been together since 7th grade! =)

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