(Closed) You wanna spend how much on a ring?!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We were looking for rings, he’d shown me a ton online (we were long distance for a few months, while he was in school)… he kept saying he wanted one that was “me” & hadn’t found it yet. So on our 6 month dating anniversary/my birthday he was taking me on a birthday surprise road trip (to one of our favorite band’s concert). He said there’s a big mall there, we could maybe look at rings since they’ll have a big selection. Hahah he already had the ring & wanted to completely surprise me. I had no idea he was proposing… mostly because I didn’t think he had a ring yet.

Post # 4
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Fi totally caught me off guard!  We had gone looking for rings one night and both really liked a particular style.  Well in the next few weeks, he kept saying things about how we should go look again and check out a few more stores.  But he never took me again and it drove me crazy!  I just sorta gave up asking to go looking again, figuring we would go eventually, or if not, that he would propose with something similar to what we liked within the next several months (though I was secretly hoping sooner).  Well, sure enough, about a month or so after we had gone shopping he proposed!  Definitely NOT expected.  He had bought the ring a week or so after we had gone shopping and kept mentioning taking me shopping again so that I would think he hadn’t decided on a ring yet.  He then told me he didn’t want to actually take me in case I found something I liked better!  Haha…sneaky guy…and I had no idea!

Post # 5
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ha i dont think he could lie or hide it from me – we tell each other EVERYTHING. and he keeps talking about it so i know he’s not holding back. 

but i just wanted to comment on the $ portion of your post, becuase i am kind of in the same situation.  I know he has spoken to my future MOH about the ring (which he has not yet purchased) and she has made a few comments to me about how i wouldn’t want to know what he’s spending because it’s more than i’d want him to spend on a piece of jewelry.  And at first i was a bit upset about it and felt like you do (what if i lose it?!).  then i thought about it and realized it is a matter of pride or something to him, and this is something he wants to do.  I mean, i know we’re not talking crazy off-the-wall numbers, just that he knows i’d be happy with a piece of string on my finger and that wouldn’t be enough for him so he’s spending more.

It sounds like he’s got it all figured out, so in your case, i wouldn’t worry about it either.  Obviously you can let him know it is unnecessary if you haven’t already, but i would let him take the lead, since it sounds like he has some ideas!

Post # 6
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think you could find ways to hint to him that you don’t necessarily need a 4000 ring. Maybe do some ring researching your self see what you like and price range. That is unless your ok with the price, and wouldn’t mind the wait until he can afford it.

That said I thought it was too funny your Bf talks freely about the future when he drinks so does mine. I think its cute, he just loses inhibitions.

Try not to think about it too much and welcome to Waiting.

Post # 7
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would just flat out tell him: marrying you sooner is worth more to me than an expensive ring. Maybe he thinks you expect a ring that big or would be unhappy without it? 

 

I think sometimes guys are a bit dense. When I was dating FI, before we were seriously talking about getting married but we were just starting to joke about it… FI would ALWAYS make comments like: anything under 2 cts isn’t even worth looking at, etc. And I was always like UMMMM do you know how much that costs?!? haha. I flat out told him that when the time came I wanted him to buy a ring that he could AFFORD and I absolutely did not want him going into debt over a ring or having us paying off my ring into our marriage. 

 

When the time came I think he came to a fair compromise of his desire to gift me big bling and my desire to not be in debt: he figured out what he’d be able to afford within 6 months and he bought my ring by putting 1/2 down and paying off the other 1/2 with 6 mo 0% financing. So, he paid it off before we really started seriously saving for the wedding (longer engagement) and didn’t pay any interest on it, and he still got a ring that he feels proud to have me show off (1ct by the way, not 2. he had no idea that 2ct rings cost like 25k+. silly boys.)

Post # 8
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Oh yes: 1) He made a fake budget to show me; We went to a store to “look at desgins,” when he already had our ring. He was pretty sneaky.

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