Post # 1
Today Mr Crol brought up an interesting discussion with me. He was asking me the meaning of the ring finger and why wedding rings go there.
I told him the history, that during the middle ages they thought the vein in that finger had a direct link to the heart and called it the Heart Vein. I have always thought it was kinda cute and romantic, though not medically accurate ^_^;;
He then explained to me that it sounded hokey to him and that he doesn’t like the way a ring would feel on that finger. He would much rather wear his wedding band on his index finger.
Eeeeh? Index finger? Really?
I have to admit, I am not really cool with this idea… I mean that’s one of the things I find so romantic, declaring to the world that you are married by showing off a wedding band! Just by looking no one would know he is married…
I am now torn, I want him to be happy… but I have always thought it was a given that he would wear his wedding band on his left ring finger.
Anyone else have a spouse that has done this? Is it weird looking? Should I insist on what I want or should I just back down on this so he is happy?
Thanks everyone! <3
Post # 3
I would insist that he wear it on the socially acceptable finger because like it or not, the ring on the correct finger tells the world that he is married. Would he like it if you decide to wear your ring on a different finger?? And guys starts to hit on you?? There is a reason for socially acceptable traditions and if he likes a ring on index finger, he can get another one, but for your peace of mind, he should accept that he needs a wedding ring on the “wedding finger”.
Post # 4
I see guys all the time with wedding band type rings on their index fingers. I never assume they’re married, because they’re not… just a thought.
Is it that your Fiance thinks it will be uncomfortable? That he likes the look or something better? Because it’s comfy once you get used to it, and the look… that shouldn’t matter, it’s more about the fact that you’re married. You should definitely talk to him more about your feelings on this.
Post # 5
It’s his ring so let him do what he is most comfortable with. The ring has no magic powers of any kind. It’s the promises in your heart that matter. Tons of people don’t even wear rings but they’re still married. Way too much emphasis is being placed on the ring itself and not what it means. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You wear your ring where you want and let him do his own thing, and do not force him.
Post # 6
Just a little anecdote that might put you at ease: Before we got married, Fiance said he just couldn’t even imagine wearing a ring. Here’s how it went down:
Darling Husband: “It will feel itchy and confining…I’m just not a jewelry guy! Maybe I could wear a really nice ‘wedding watch’ or something?”
Darling Husband: “Well I definitely won’t be able to wear it to work….what if it gets smashed in something?”
Me: “Then you’ll have it smashed on your finger forever.”
(Fast Forward to the day his wedding band arrived. )
Darling Husband: “Hey, this thing is more comfortable than I thought it would be. Maybe I’ll be able to wear it on the weekends at least.”
Me: *Rolling eyes* “Yes, and the other days that end in ‘Y’! That’s why I got you the comfort fit…”
Darling Husband:”Comfort fit huh…”
(Fast Forward to NOW.)
The man has not taken the ring off this finger. He loves it. Occasionally he will leave the house without it accidentally and we have to turn around to go get it.
Moral of the story: You never know…guys can change their minds about these things and sometimes it just takes some patience to wait for them to come around 🙂
Post # 7
I find it odd that a ring would feel funny on one finger but not another finger.
I’d tell him he’s being ridiculous. But then again, I’m at the point where my wedding is less than two weeks away and I’ve got no room for ridiculousness.
My fiance had all these crazy ideas about how he wants our wedding to be. An example: He wanted to do the speeches right after we’re introduced. I explained to him why speeches typically take place during dinner, and that’s because you’ve got a captive audience. He didn’t really get it. There was something else that he wanted to do that was equally ridiculous which I can’t remember now. But that’s because he didn’t really understand that there are certain things you can do differently and certain things that you can’t because there’s a good reason.
I think wearing your wedding band on your ring finger is not one of those things that’s negotiable. My position would be that my fiance should either wear it where it belongs, or don’t wear it at all.
You have a year to settle it. 🙂 Don’t sweat it. You’ll have lots of other things to worry about between now and then. Good luck!
Post # 8
I agree with selene. It’s not the ring that makes you married. If your husband wants to wear his ring on a different finger, I think that’s ok. Let him wear it so he’s comfortable. I know men and women that don’t wear their wedding rings and they don’t feel any less married than those that wear their rings. It’s just a ring. But if you feel really uncomfortable with him wearing it on a different finger, then you should tell him and try to find something that he feels is comfortable enough for him to wear on the “correct” finger.
Post # 9
@mrsk2b hahaha that is awesome.
Post # 10
Ditto @ loveapril. I would be pissed if my man didn’t want to wear his ring on the appropriate finger! It’s just that — inappropriate!