(Closed) You won’t be able to do that….mini vent

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

yes, I have had a few comments like this from my sisters. mostly about time realated things, like “you will never have enough time to (knit, sew, paint, finish your book) when I have children. It is my personal opinion that I probably could do any of these things, it would take longer, it would be messier, and I would be frusterated, but its not impossible.

Will you be able to get a pedi every week, probably not (but maybe depending on your priorities) will you be able to scrounge up 45 every few months? I certainly hope so! but then again I don’t know as I don’t have children yet either…

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t worry, I’m actually pregnant and yesterday one of DH’s friends who I haven’t seen since we announced came over and said Congratulations followed by “Why would you want to ruin your life?” Thanks.

In your case when you don’t even have children and you’re not pregnant those comments seem a bit strange! You could try for something like, “I’ll starve my children before I give up pedicures” with a big smile and let them figure that out.

Post # 5
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have a daughter and there are a lot of things I can no longer do, but it’s stupid childish stuff. Of course you could still get a pedicure! I’m super, super, SUPER, poor, so the only pedicure I’ve ever had was while I was pregnant [a friend said I needed pretty toes while they were up in the stirrups, haha]. I still crochet, I still read, I still do other crafty stuff…It’s not like your world ends. Would I like more time? Yes. Is it impossible to do other things? No

*smells Strawberry Shortcake’s hair per daughter’s request while typing away* [just now – no joke] Multitasking for the win!

Post # 6
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Today it was…you won’t be able to spend money on fancy pedicures “once you have kids.”

That sounds kind of absurd.

I’m curious to know, what is the context in which people are making these statements?  I mean, what is prompting them?  Seems like a very odd thing to be saying to you if you don’t even know whether you’re going to choose to have kids.  And furthermore, based on your age I think it’s really ridiculous that people are making these comments to you.  Please don’t take that the wrong way, I just mean you have obviously been an adult for awhile and probably have your life squared away and are capable of making your own informed decisions at this point.  If I heard someone making those comments to a 35-year-old I would be shocked.  Not that it’s any less rude to say it to someone who’s 20, but it would make slightly more sense in that scenario.

Comments like that are condescending and presumptuous.  Your finances are your business and nobody else’s.

Post # 7
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Probably, the people telling you these things are jealous because they’re saddled down and missing out on these things, and you’re not.  I think it is presumptious of them to just say, “When you have kids…”  because how do they even know that you will?  Unless you mentioned wanting kids to them, or something.  I mean, it’s true that you won’t be able to do as much of what you do now *if* you have a kid, but if you’re not even considering kids right now (or at all), there is no point in someone telling you what you would and wouldn’t be able to do if you did have one.

Post # 8
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

Ummm I just got a mani!!! I have kids lol. Yes you may not be able to get them done as often as you may want to,but indulge sometimes!!! I have girls so they love to go:)

ETA its not the $$ we are by means not well off. We are ok but not super rich haha but its more of time with work and whatnot. My 5 y/o went with me:)

Post # 9
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

People with that kind of attitude don’t need kids…sure, life will change when a couple has a child, but it doesn’t make it any less fulfulling! You just (hopefully) become less selfish and make time for yourself when you can–like pedicures are the only thing that matters in the world!

Post # 10
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t have any kids myself, but I have plenty of friends with kids – and none of them have had to give up pedicures. Or even cool vacations – one set of friends took their infant to Barcelona, another just took a cross-country road trip with a toddler. It might be a little bit more difficult to arrange, or take a little more planning, or happen a little less often, but the idea that you give up every pleasurable experience or treat when you have kids is just absurd.

Post # 11
Member
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hmm.  I take my 8 year old with me and we BOTH get our nails done.  Those people are stupid.

Post # 12
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I hate it when people make assumptions that just because something was a certain way for them, it will be that way for you, too. Maybe the person who told you that really does find that she can’t go get pedicures anymore, which is too bad for her. But that has nothing to do with you and how things will turn out for you. So annoying for her to put her crap on you that way.

(I just realized, you didn’t state whether this was a man or a woman who said this to you – do you mind sharing which it was?)

Post # 13
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh Gee, Oh My! Gosh darn, I can’t?

I KNOW for a fact that my past co-workers spend almost $30 a DAY on thier coffee at Tim Horton’s and their bloody 2 pack a day cigarettes! Oh, and by the way, they HAVE kids!

$1.25 per coffee … 6 coffees a day $ 7.50

2 packs of cigs = $9.95 each $19.90

So yeah, it CAN be done!

Post # 14
Member
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

YES!  My husband and I travel extensively, and everyone always makes comments like “better do it now because you won’t be able to with kids!” 

I understand that it is much harder and more expensive to travel with children, but c’mon.  It’s not impossible!!!  We plan on taking our future children on as many vacations as possible.  It’s an amazing opportunity to learn about the world outside of our own, so why wouldn’t you try to give your children these experiences also?

Post # 15
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Everyones financial situation is different so there is no fixed list of things that you would no longer be able to do once you have kids. But children are definitely expensive and can put a bit of a dent into your extra spending money that you are used to having.

Post # 16
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

My mom has been present with me at 75% of the pedicures I’ve had in my life, so that one seems really amusing to me.

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