Post # 1
My twin sister was recently married in june. She did NOT go with my mom to dress shop, she took her fiance’s mother! Didn’t tell anyone, and just walked in around the time my mom gets home from work saying “I found my dress!!”
Needless to say my mother was devastated. She couldn’t talk about it for weeks, all made worse since my sister is the eldest of three kids in my family. I’m four minutes younger then her.
Anyways, I just got engaged August 8th. Anytime I mention going to JUST LOOK at dresses, my mom won’t comment. Like she doesn’t hear me. I just turned 21 sunday, and on our Mother-daughter-Daughter day out, I figured how perfect! I can discuss plans and figure out when we can all go. (my twin is my MOH).
During a conversation between mom and my sister in which I really wasn’t included, I interject, “Hey, just asking, but any idea when you will be free?”
They both look at me, say something non-commital and continue with their previous conversation. My keyboard is getting all blurry now just thinking about it. She couldn’t be apart of my sister’s day, so I’d think she should be jumping at the chance to be apart of mine. My future mother-in-law is more interested than my own!!!!!
I am so close to just going without her! It hurts me so much!
Post # 3
That really stinks! Maybe try and talk to your mom privately and let her know how much you want her there when you go dress shopping. If she is still strange about it just ask her what’s up. Perhaps it is just such a sore subject that she can’t let herself be excited.
Post # 4
maybe she doesn’t want to get excited because she was so let down when your sister didn’t take her along, and she doesn’t want to build up expectations a second time? perhaps get her alone and tell her how excited you are to go dress shopping with her, and how much it means to you to have her there with you when you pick out your dress. i bet that would make her day.
Post # 5
I would just ask if point blank if she wants to come along. Say if you don’t get a straight answer from her, you’re going without her because she keeps dodging the question for some reason.
I have to say, though. This is very childish behavior from your mom. I didn’t take my mom dress shopping (although, I didn’t take my Mother-In-Law, either), and she was fine with it. I totally understand that it’s a huge emotional step … picking out the dress … but jeez, being sad for weeks is a little much.
Hopefully she goes with you and you make up for it.
Post # 6
Maybe you could try surprising her. just have a mother daughter day and include dress shopping in the day’s activities…
Post # 7
My mom made a huge deal out of coming dress shopping with me (we live 3 hours apart), so we scheduled a trip at my son’s bday for her to come stay and made a bridal shop appt. Well, when she got here all she wanted to do was drink in her hotel and she wouldn’t come to the dress appt! I ended up having to buy cheap store bought cupcakes at the last minute for my sons party and wasn’t able to do anything great for my son’s 2nd bday because of the appt that she didn’t bother to come to. Soo..sometimes mothers do funny things. I’m sure that yours does want to come and I would just talk to her. Best of luck!
Post # 8
Oh no!! I am so sorry. How was your relationship/her reaction to weddings in general before your sister did that? Maybe she doesn’t want you to feel guilty if you choose not to go shopping with her, so she’s just putting up a wall? Maybe she doesn’t want you to know how badly she wants to be there, in case you had other plans? Just talk to her about it very openly. It’s probably residual pain from your sisters actions.