(Closed) young brides

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 30
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@alyssa.christine1: You said you’ve been with your fiance since you were 14. When exactly did you “date a variety of guys”? In pre-school?

Post # 31
Member
1713 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ive flagged as well. This is why people who are young and want to get married have issues.

Post # 32
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Bostongrl25: I know, me too. It’s just too damn entertaining though!

Post # 34
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@alyssa.christine1:  We don’t insult other bees on here. Your behavior isn’t okay. You give young brides a bad name and only hurt your cause.

Post # 34
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@alyssa.christine1:  Wow. Marriage isn’t a big deal?

It IS a big deal. It doesn’t matter if this person is your best friend. Because over time, everyone changes. I had best friends at 18 that I haven’t talked to in years. Some of them were roommates or people who were super close to me.

You obviously do not have a place on the Bee if you are going to act like this. There are so many wonderful posts on how to deal with being a younger bride.

Post # 34
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Hey guys! Let’s remember that here at Weddingbee, our mission is to create a friendly, supportive place where brides and grooms can ask questions, share resources, and make friends during their wedding planning process and beyond.

I know emotions tend to run high in these “young bride” threads. We can disagree, but we need to do so in a respectful way.

@alyssa.christine1:  There are tons of threads on the 20-something board about dealing with people who doubt younger brides. You may want to peruse them for some extra insight. 🙂

Post # 36
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@alyssa.christine1:  Not a single person is bullying you. We were having a civilized discussion until you started name calling and getting defensive. You’re the problem here. No-one else. 

Post # 37
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

it’s always easy for someone to judge. but they are just another outsider looking in. every situation is differnt. and it’s your life and you have to do what makes you happy. i am 20 and my fiance is 24. i was 19 when got engaged & he was 23. i will still be 20 when we get married, he will be 24. if you are happy thats what matters. i have heard things like people saying you are too young. but that was not anyone in my family. everyone in my family knows what we have been through. i have known my fiance since i was 10. we have been through more then a couple that is 30. just keep your head up & make sure youre happy. !

Post # 40
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@alyssa.christine1:  Nobody is bullying anyone. We were discussing why people would be concerned with an 18 year old getting married. You turned the conversation into name-calling and basically proved our point of why people would be concerned.

Post # 41
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@alyssa.christine1:  Here’s the deal. You ask questions, you get answers. Every one of the comments were pretty respectful.

I am not against younger couples getting married. I come from a rural area that supports that. But I know where you are from and can assume what lifestyle you were raised in. And considering it’s the suburbs, you are probably going to get a little bit of flack for it. It’s up to you to be calm and rationally explain why you are getting married at the age you want to do it.

But marriage is a BIG deal. Marriage is forever. And I am sure you understand that. Older brides (and I’m 24, I should add) will caution you against making a decision early on because they got benefit out of it. We had time to date around and have other adult relationships. Some of us went through college, got jobs, had children, had other marriages, bought homes, lived on our own, etc. Those are all major life decisions that led us to the point of finding our SO, Fiance, or Darling Husband. It can be hard to imagine not going through some of those major life moments before we get married. And that’s why we “worry” when younger brides do come on wedding sites and talk about how they are getting married young. We just want you to have loving and productive marriages at your own pace. And if this is your own pace, then, so be it.

Post # 42
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

My husband and I started dating at 17 and married at 23 – technically still ‘young’.

BUT, I am VERY glad we didn’t get married at 17,18,19 – we would not have been ready and we were both very mature for our age (I know, cliche, right? But we’ve had many other people tell us that).

I think it’s incredibly important to get out on your own a little bit, go to school, make your own friends, have your own experiences, before you get married. Darling Husband and I have changed a lot since we were 17, but we’re still right for each other. Waiting a few more years didn’t kill us, it made us stronger and more able to handle being married.  

Obviously everyone is different……but I think there are very, VERY, few teenagers who are ready for marriage. And judging from the tone and attitude in some of these comments, the OP is not one of them. Anyone who thinks getting married is ‘no big deal’ and ‘it won’t change anything’……….is not ready.

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