(Closed) Young brides, did your SO ask your parents for their blessing/permission?

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did your SO ask for permission for marriage?

    Yes

    No

    Other

  • Post # 136
    Member
    11 posts
    Newbee

    Yes – I was 22 and he asked on vacation 🙂

    Post # 137
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    My Fiance asked my parents and my sister too!  They wanted to be involved with everything from choosing the ring to the actual proposal.  My dad was a little hesitiant at first because I am his first daughter.  He proposed right before I turned 23!

    Post # 138
    Member
    321 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    No and I didn’t want him to. I am my own person and hate the idea of being owned by someone. It’s 2015.

    Post # 139
    Member
    869 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Yes, mine did! We talked about marriage before and him asking my dad was one thing I really wanted. He totally agreed and said he def planned on getting his permission. He admitted it was more nerve wracking asking my dad then asking me! Lol.  We got engaged in 2012, I just had turned 23.  I’ll be getting married at 25 and he will be 26.

    Post # 140
    Member
    869 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

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    TheGorgonMedusa:  perfectly said! I 100% agree with this. It had nothing to do with my dad deciding who I get to marry – it was more having them involved in this huge decision and wanting their blessing as we take this next step together!

    Post # 141
    Member
    798 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Enoch Turner Schoolhouse

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    bridetobee16:  This happened very recently.  End of January.  2 nights before going on a trip to Jamaica for a friend’s destination wedding, my then bf asked me to invite my family over for dinner – he made pot roast.  It wasn’t unusual because we always had mine or his family over for dinners all the time.  We’ve been living together for almost a year, but dating 7 years.  The last 2 years I had been hinting about getting married.  I’m 32, he’s 33.  Definitely not young… but we sure feel like it 😛

    Before my family arrived, he told me that he saw his mom the other day and she asked if my dad could fix her wedding ring.  The center stone fell off.  My dad’s a goldsmith, so it made sense. 

    After the delicious meal, my mom and I sat on the couch just relaxing, and I remembered my bf’s mom’s ring.  So I said, “Babe, don’t forget to tell my Dad about the ring.”  Immediately my mom’s head spun around 360 and gave me this “What ring?!?” look.  I said, “No mom, it’s not what you think.”  She quickly changed her excited demeanor LOL.

    So my bf and my dad are off in the kitchen talking about his mom’s ring to be fixed.  Then when they were done, my dad came over to sit beside me on the couch.  So there’s 3 of us sitting, and I’m in the middle.  All of a sudden, my bf goes, “Speaking of rings….”

    My brother was right behind him as he’s talking.  My bf says to my parents in Tagalog (my language, I’m Filipino, he’s Irish) “I would like Gemma to be my wife.  Can I have your blessing”.  My brother had a mouth full of food, and was banging the dinner table out of excitement, my mom and dad stared my bf with their mouth open, and I kept saying “Oh my gosh what’s happening?!”  After a long and awkward pause, my dad finally said, “OF COURSE!” and my mom was clapping and I was getting all teary.  My bf then said, “So speaking of rings… can you make me a ring for Gemma?” 

    Growing up I knew it was super important for me to get engaged with a ring that my dad made.  Not only is it a way for my then bf to ask for permission/blessing, but I would always have a ring that had sentimental value, which I plan to pass down to a daughter one day. 

    So after we came back from our trip, which was Feb 6th – I gave my bf a week to relax and get his daily routine back on track before bugging about my ring.  My dad was wondering when he could make it.  Last week on Feb 19th both my dad and bf went to Toronto to get the diamond and materials.  My bf even bought me a pair of pearl earring “just cause” and he bought the replacement diamond stone for his mom’s ring – she didn’t mind a cubic zirconia but my bf is just so sweet he got her a real diamond anyway.  So now it’s been a week, and my dad is probably almost finished.  So the “surprise” is gone, and I know exactly what my ring will look like, but I will probably still cry when he officially presents the ring to me.  My bf hasn’t “asked” but to me, we’ve been engaged since that night at dinner with my family. 

    Post # 142
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    AHJ:  Totally agree

    Post # 143
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    No because my mother and I weren’t speaking at the time, he had only met her once before he asked me to propose as me and my mum didn’t /don’t have the best relationship, and I didn’t have a dad to ask.

    My mum was furious, and still thinks he should have, but the way I see it I left home at 15, for the last 4-5 years I had raised myself, and she wasn’t my father so traditionally he didnt have to ask her for her permission anyway. Also for the 2-3 months before he did ask, she wasn’t answering my calls or texts or anything. I knew she was readint them though as I got read receipts. I later found out she was testing me to see how much effort I would put in to get in contact with her to prove I actually cared.

    Also he is quite timid and shy. If I coudln’t even want to talk to my mum cos she was being crazy why would he? He didn’t think she would even answer the call and if she did the answer would have been no, which we would have ignored anyway.

    Post # 144
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m 25 and he’s 27. He asked my dad after playing a round of golf just the two of them.

    Post # 145
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Yes! My fiancé is very respectful & told me from the beginning that he wanted my family’s blessing. I lost both of my parents at an early age, so my maternal grandmother raised my younger sister & me. My sis’ dad has always been my dad in my eyes; my sis & I are four years apart and I remember him being in my life way before she was even thought of. My fiancé met all of my family [via reunions, birthdays, etc] sometimes they call my phone looking to speak to him! My fiancé got, both, my granny’s and my dad’s blessing 🙂 and we later told them that we were engaged by visiting in person and him telling them “show em, babe”. Tears of pure joy

    Post # 146
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    View original reply
    bridetobee16:  my fiancé asked my parents in July (14) and I asked his in september (14). We got engaged November of 14, and will be married february of 16.

    Post # 147
    Member
    902 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Not that young, but my Fiance asked both parents for permission. He knew it was important to me ( and them).

    Post # 148
    Member
    8674 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    No.. my dad (and I) would’ve been insulted if he’d tried.  I don’t belong to him, or anyone else.  The only relevant person to ask is me…

    I’m not trying to be rude: I think these stories are all adorable, and many of my close friends have the same sort of story.  This is just how I was raised, and so it’s what I believe and what my parents believe.

    Post # 149
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I was 26 when we got engaged. My fiance secretly took my parents out for lunch and asked for their blessing and showed them the ring and everything. I seriously wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. Apparently my mom was just speechless and couldn’t stop smiling (and this lady is NEVER speechless).

    Post # 150
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee

    I was bff with my Fiance for a year and half and I told my mom about him. I was still with my ex at the time. We were taking time off and on. I always knew if my Fiance lived in NYC, he was in SF doing his reserach and publishing paper at grad school, that we would at least go on few dates. When my ex and I part ways, we decided to be together and my mom was really supportive. He has been there for me when my mom had to go through chemo again. I suffered depression for a while and he was there 6+ hours a day on skype cheering me on across the country. WHen he moved in my mom automatically said yes. My parents are divorced my dad trust my mom. His parents are supportive of all his decisions. His mom had many questions but his dad is really supportive. We cant affoard our wedding without my parent’s blesshings. My mom even purchased our wedding bands from Tiffany as a gift. 

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