(Closed) Young brides, did your SO ask your parents for their blessing/permission?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did your SO ask for permission for marriage?
    Yes : (361 votes)
    65 %
    No : (169 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (24 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 151
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Sand Key Park- Clearwater Beach Elopement

    Nope, he hadn’t “asked” anyone. We both felt it unnecessary. Everyone already saw it coming. I had been talking about it for quite a bit with my mom, who is also one of my dearest friends. So she knew it was coming. She honestly would have been flattered but embarrassed if he had asked her. She is not really the super hardcore traditional sort in much of anything haha. I get it from her. After everyone found out, they all said that they knew it was coming, but nobody said anything about feeling upset that he didn’t ask for their “blessing”.

    Post # 152
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    Fiance is 26 and I’m 23. And I made sure he asked for my dad’s blessings, not his permission. We were living together already and my family loves my Fiance anyway, so getting married felt like the next natural step!

    Post # 153
    2627 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    Fiance is 25 and I am 24, got engaged last month.

    It was really important to my parents that he ask for their blessing (we’ve been together 7.5 years so permission is kind of a moot point) so he asked them on the Thursday before proposing on the Saturday.

    My mum basically avoided us both on the Friday so that she didn’t give the game away!!

    I still think it’s a nice tradition and I’m glad he asked them 🙂

    Post # 154
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Yep! I was 24 and Fiance was 30. He asked my mum first – she was staying with us and whilst I was out of the room he handed her a jeweller’s business card and just said ‘i was thinking it was about time I bought a ring’. She was delighted and of course gave her full support. 

    He asked my dad a week later at a local beer festival. Dad went to go and get some drinks from the beer tent and Fiance went with him to ‘help’. He said he was absolutely shaking and said ‘I was thinking of asking L to marry me… If that’s ok with you’. Dad shook his hand and said it would be an honour and as long as I’m happy he will always be happy 😊 It was particularly good for dad as my stepmother died only a month previous to that and dad was really really in need of some good news. Apparently it was very emotional! 

    He proposed 3 months later so goodness knows how they kept it to themselves!!

    Post # 155
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    No, he asked me if he should or if I was comfortable with it and I told him I wasn’t.

    My father is not like a father to me. I don’t want his opinion in my personal life nor do I wish for him to walk me at our wedding but he will be invited if he wishes to come.

    My mother is already struggling to grasp the different religions on his side so I know it’s better coming from me than him on our plan to get married. My mother eloped with my father and cut her whole family off pretty much so it’s not really like she asked her parents either.

    • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  soymilk.
    Post # 156
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I’m 24 and my fiance was 27 at the time (now 28). My fiance asked my dad a week before we officially got engaged and it couldn’t have gone better. My dad just kept saying “I’m just so happy. I didn’t think people did that anymore. I’m just so happy.” over and over again, haha. I think it made my fiance feel great because I think he was more nervous to ask him than me. He had the ring 4 months before he proposed, and I think it took him so long because he was afraid to ask my dad, haha.

    Post # 157
    27 posts
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Not quite ‘young’, but we were 27. And he asked both my parents (they’d recently split)

    It was cute when I heard the story about asking Dad because I was told he was fixing a light at my uncle’s place so I was going to go as well to see my aunt (we live in another state). Safe to say I wasn’t allowed for some strange reason. Went out with my mum the next day and caught up with my aunt and asked her about the light – she’d forgotten the cover story and had no clue about what light. Turns out Fiance had gone to Dad’s place instead. 

    And Mum. Mum was easier. Well she’d approved the diamond and all. First secret she’s kept well!

    Post # 158
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    We are 25 and 28, not yet engaged but… a few weeks ago my boyfriend called my parents (who live on the other side of the world from us, more or less- we live in his home country) to ask for their blessing. 

    Little did he know, when he called the house was full of family members in town for a cousin’s wedding- all of whom soon quickly figured out what was going on when my parents both started (happy) crying on the phone. So there was nothing secret about this- I heard almost right away, and he knows that- but I am glad to know and to have gotten the full report about how sweet he was, how happy my parents were, etc. 🙂 

    Post # 159
    1053 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am 33 and my Fiance asked my father… why only young brides?


    Post # 160
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Yes, yes, yes! I’m 22 and my Fiance is 24 and he actually asked my best friend if she can take me out on a Friday night (which is nothing out of the ordinary) and that’s when my Fiance went to my house with flowers for my mom and sat both of them down. He got all choked up but once they saw the ring, they knew what was happening,and my mom cried a few times, my dad hugged him, and that’s it! He proposed 2 weeks later (literally last weekend) when we went to Jamaica for our 5th anniversary! 

    Post # 161
    3882 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We were 24, and no he didn’t. My parents both work overseas and my Fiance did actually ask my grandma for my dad’s overseas number, but he couldn’t get it to work! Also we already lived together and had moved out of home a while ago, so it wasn’t like I was still under my parents roof or anything. It would have been nice for my dad I suppose but it wasn’t really important to me.

    Post # 162
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I’m 27 and he’s 26.  He asked my father’s blessing, though I don’t think he would have done it if I hadn’t told him it’s what my dad expected.  He still hasn’t formally proposed, though.

    Post # 163
    2332 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    No and I would have been highly insulted if he’d asked that from either of my parents

    Post # 164
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Unfortunately, my father wasn’t present in my upbringing. Therefore, no. I had mentioned it to my mother before it happened, that it probably will happen, but that’s as far as that went. 

    Also, somewhat unrelated,last Christmas, his grandmother gave me a warm hug and said “I hope he makes an honest woman out of you soon” LOL.

    I do hope that for the daughter we may have/adopt in the future, that the man/woman asking for her hand, does mention it to my FH first. Not because they need permission but just as a bonding moment. 

    Post # 165
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Old Lake County Courthouse

    Yes, my fiance’ did. Not only does that show respect to the father, it was a major requirement of mines.

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