(Closed) Young brides, did your SO ask your parents for their blessing/permission?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did your SO ask for permission for marriage?
    Yes : (361 votes)
    65 %
    No : (169 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (24 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 166
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    My fiance asked my grandparents because he knew they are the most important to me  (i do not speak to my bio dad though and he probably wont be invited.) He disguised this as he was going to their home to thank them for his birthday card in person! I had no idea. I even texted my grandma to tell them he was coming over!

    Post # 167
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    Also i am 25 and he is 29 and neither of us cared about marriage before so i was so so surprised when he proposed!  When i saw my gparents on my bday (the day before he proposed) my gma asked me if he had given me my final gift! 

    Post # 168
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee

    I was 21, Fiance 25.  We’d been to his grandads funeral on the saturday and spent the morning on sunday with his gran talking about it, went shopping on the monday and he asked on the wednesday.  My parents had gone away for two weeks on the saturday morning and didn’t have a clue until I messaged them!  They didn’t have great wifi so they only found out when I whatsapped her with a picture….

    The year before when they went away he moved in with us, it’s a family joke now that every time they go away something major happens.  He didn’t ask ‘permission’ because I asked him not to 

    Post # 169
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I wouldn’t say we’re young but my Fiance did. We’re 26 and 27 (at the time of the proposal we were 25 and 27, I’m younger) and Fiance asked both my parents for permission. He went to their house without me while I was on a trip. They had a few reasonable questions for him and then finally said “she’s a grown woman and will do what she wants and she obviously wants to marry you, but we appreciate that you involved us”. 

    Post # 170
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    We are both 25. My Fiance asked my father for his approval/blessing to propose a year before we got engaged. My father was terminally ill at the time and he passed away a couple weeks later. My parents were so grateful that Fiance involved my father in this way and according to my mom, my dad was really comforted by the way Fiance talked about loving his family. So for those reasons I’m happy he did. 

    Post # 171
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    I am not engaged yet, but I made it clear to my Boyfriend or Best Friend early on that it was important to me (and my Dad) that he ask for permission. My dad and I are extremely close so I just want him to be involved in that way. The only problem is that my Dad lives six hours away and my Boyfriend or Best Friend is only with him when I am so not sure how they will pull that off haha. I hope he gets the chance to ask in person but maybe it will be an awkward phone call instead! Anyway, I am 27 and my Boyfriend or Best Friend is 36. I do have a friend who is very against the practice (she is 23) because she sees it as the oldschool meaning of the woman being like property of the father that is being transferred to the partner, but I think we all know that isn’t what it means anymore. It is now just a nice tradition that respects the bond between father and daughter!

    Post # 172
    Member
    644 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: A restaurant on the beach

    I was 24 and he was 25 when he proposed this last December. My dad lives in Ireland and I live in the US but my family and my bf (At the time) visited my dad for Christmas. He didn’t ‘ask’ per say. But he did speak with my dad and my mom and told them his intentions. He also showed them the ring box that he made for me. I know they gave their blessing and that was important for them. 

    Post # 173
    Member
    770 posts
    Busy bee

    bridetobee16:  we got engaged 2 weeks ago! he proposed 4 days before my 20th birthday. He asked my dad over the phone since fiance was stationed somewhere else with the Air Force. I knew he was asking and proposing and my dad knew it was coming. It was more of a formality, but it was a nice one

    Post # 174
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    My fiance asked for my dad’s blessing, not his permission, which made me feel good and definitely impressed my dad– he said he would have said no if he’d been asked for permission, because it wasn’t his to give in the first place! He gave my dad a basic idea of when he planned on asking me as well.

    Post # 175
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    My mom had always wanted me to date my now Fiance because he was always so polite and treated me great even as friends. I was constantly like “no no we’re just friends.” Turns out moms do know best lol. I knew after a month of dating I wanted to marry that man, and we are now 14 months in. He obviously didn’t need to ask my mother, and has been calling her his Mother-In-Law for a while now. He did ask my brother as I’m not very close with my dad. But he has approval from everyone in my family. They love him!

    Post # 176
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

    Being gay, we are pretty sick and tired of asking people permission to exist as we are and love who we do. So we didn’t ask. Our parents’ opinions aren’t of interest to us when it comes to marrying each other. Apparently my Father-In-Law was very upset that his daughter didn’t ask him (not me, the DIL asking him) permission to get married. We had no idea, it just came out in a heated argument between the two of them. I had planned to talk to them about it, but now it’s probably too little too late.

    My parents know and appreciate that I make my own choices and as an adult, and don’t ask them for permission or blessings. It’s just how it is.

    Post # 177
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

    Yes my fiancee asked both my parents for their blessings

    Post # 178
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I am a younger bride to be at 23 and he did not ask my parents.  My parents did not care at all, and were very excited when we announced our engagement.  Asking permission is an unnecessary tradition that needs to die.

    Post # 179
    Member
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I’m 24, FH is 28 – almost 25 and 29 and no, he did not ask. It’s 2016, so we didn’t feel the need. My parents think it should be my decision! I do think it’s a nice tradition for others though ☺️

    Post # 180
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee

    My fiance asked my my father’s blessing. I think it was important for both of them.  I didn’t know anything about it until after. 

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