(Closed) Young brides, did your SO ask your parents for their blessing/permission?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did your SO ask for permission for marriage?
    Yes : (361 votes)
    65 %
    No : (169 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (24 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 181
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We’re not young.  I’m 32 and he’s 36 and we already live together. 

    However, it was always important to me that the guy I would marry would ask my Dad’s permission.  (I’m not a very traditional person but for everything surrounding my wedding and marriage, I am.).  I never ever told my boyfriend though.  I wanted him to do it on his own.  And he did.  Right before we left for our trip where he proposed, he asked my Dad for my hand and showed him the ring.  That meant so much to me!

    Post # 182
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: Half Moon Bay

    Yes, he did. My dad cried because he was so happy. 🙂

    Post # 183
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Yes, my fiance asked my dad. Multiple times. Lol.

    I’m 22, he’s 21. We will be 23 and 22 when we get married.

    Post # 184
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee

    I’m 23 and my fiancé is actually 21 and he did not ask (sad). But we knew that my parents approved because he was basically family, we’ve been together for five years and he intended to ask but he never got the time and I did want him to ask but did not make a big deal as I know that my parents blessed our relationship a long time ago.

    Post # 185
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    My fiance and I fell in love the year I was working in France, then he took a work contract in his homeland (Russia) and I went back to the US for graduate school. For 2 years our families figured we would get over it and eventually marry people of our own nationalities. I went there twice to visit him, but accepting our love for each other, and leaving our families (at least one or the other of us) was a big step! Finally I took another teaching contract in France and he was there within 2 months and found work here. He followed me back to where we fell in love and we’re going to stay here (he’s a naturalized citizen, so it’ll work.)

    So my parents had never MET him when he proposed to me! He also comes from a really different culture where adults tend to decide together when they would like to get married and then approach the parents together and ask for their blessing. So we had a conversation, realized we wanted to get married, and then I told him he absolutely had to call my dad and ask him about becoming his son in law, because that was important to me. I think my dad realized by then I’d never get over this guy! Obviously he said yes. My poor fiance, English isn’t his first language, I’m sure he was so anxious! They’re going to meet each other a week before the wedding!

    Post # 186
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Oh yes, and we’re both 28, living on our own for a few years now and right now with each other. I don’t think in this day and age a girls’ dad has any right to say no if she says yes… I knew my dad would think of it as a courtesy and not as actually asking permission to do what any adult, male or female, has the right to do.

    Post # 187
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Not engaged yet, but my SO did just ask my father for permission..it was really important to him & my parents really liked that. He told me ahead of time that he was going to do it. He came over for dinner & I left to pick up the desserts so he could be alone to talk with my parents. When I came back home they were sitting at the table quietly & he looked really disappointed & whispered to me “it’s a no go”. I said what’s going on then my dad said I think you guys should slow down but I noticed my mom struggling to keep a straight face & so I knew they were teasing me. My parents told me he spoke with them about his intentions for me & his goals and they gave their blessing 🙂

    Post # 188
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2021 - City, State

    Not yet, but he kind of wants to do this. Though it is more we sit down with both of our parents and talk the logistics of getting married over with everyone and everyone openly discusses their thoughts and concerns so in a way, yes, he is asking for both our parent’s blessings, but before we even consider getting engaged. That is because we both have developmental disabilities and want future marriage to stand a chance. Plan on doing it sometime over the holidays later this year I’m guessing. 

    Post # 189
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Don’t think I count as young either (27) but I’m living in West Africa and marrying someone from here; my family are in the UK. He has actually met my parents once though, when they visited me 2 years ago, before we were even dating.

    Anyway, because of the huge cultural difference, he is keen to do what he can to adopt my culture, and I wanted my parents included as much as possible as I know me getting married here(and therefore committing to life here longer term) isn’t easy for them. He wrote them a letter asking for their blessing (in French,  as his English isn’t great yet. With some basic french skills of their own and some help from Google translate they were able to understand it all and respond in French).

    This was a few months ago and I’m still waiting for the engagement! I knew about it because first I had to give him their address, then I had to pass on the envelope with their response as it’s not the norm here to have a mailbox so they posted it to me.

    Post # 190
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee

    We were not young (early 30s). My Fiance doesn’t have a lot of respect for my dad (the only serious fight we’ve ever had was when I pointed out a similarity between them) and he did not want to go with his hat in his hand and ask him permission for anything. But I knew my parents hearts would break if he didn’t. The compromise was, he took both my ma and dad out for breakfast together and explained that he planned to ask me to marry him. He did not ask their blessing or permission per se, but this was their chance to voice concerns or ask any questions.  

    Post # 191
    Member
    276 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Yes, my husband did ask my father’s permission although I’m not very traditional. 

    I got engaged at 22.

    Post # 192
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    When I was still engaged to my ex (back then a few years ago), he asked my father for my hand without my knowing, before getting the ring. It was sweet of him but somehow for a bit of equality and laugh I ended up asking his mom and his sisters for his hand. His mom couldn’t stop laughing all evening I was so afraid she would choke on her food.

    Post # 193
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee

    No but we certainly did share the news with them immediately after! And they were happy. 

    Post # 194
    Member
    792 posts
    Busy bee

    We’re not really young (22 & 23) but no he didn’t not ask, and I’m glad he didn’t! In my unpopular opinion I think it’s sexist and old fashioned to ask the father for permission, so I’m really glad my partner did not feel compelled to do it! I’m not even sure my father will walk me down the aisle and we certainly are not having a father daughter dance (he didnt even dance at his own wedding let alone mine!)

    Post # 195
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    bridetobee16 :  Not engaged yet but he will not be asking permission to marry me. We’ve lived together for 2 & 1/2 years and plus I have a bad relationship with my parents so the idea of him asking my dad “permission” to marry me or my dad “giving me away” makes me want to gag. We’ve talked about it before and have both agreed that it’d be different if I had a good relationship with my parents but since I don’t it’s a no-brainer for us!

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