(Closed) Young brides, did your SO ask your parents for their blessing/permission?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did your SO ask for permission for marriage?
    Yes : (361 votes)
    65 %
    No : (169 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (24 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee

    @PositiveThinking:  My SO is going to ask, but I’ve already voiced that I don’t care what my father has to say about it. We’re not close. I dread holidays at his and my stepmom’s house. They always have something snarky or derogatory to say and I just don’t care. I think it’d bother my SO, though, but he’s only met my dad once in the year a half we’ve been together and we were very close friends for 3 years before that. The only opinions that matter are my mom’s and my granny’s, and they both adore him. πŸ™‚ 

    Post # 78
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Yes! He knew this was important to me and i dont think there is any reason he wouldnt of asked. I was 20 and he was 22. Fiance asked my dad one night when we were grilling out. They were out on the deck together drinking a beer and i was in the house preparing food! I had no idea that is what was happening. Fiance told my mom the day before he proposed and i almost ruined it for myself because he wasnt so slick when trying to tell my mom! My mom then told my very sick grandpa that night so Grandpa knew before i did. It was very special to me. Our proposal was very simple but i couldnt of asked for anything better!

    Post # 79
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I am 23, He was 24 at the time and turned 25 before he proposed.  We will be 24/25 when we marry.

     

    My dad one night went out at dinner time in a rush, and without giving any details away to my mom.  She was upset he wouldn’t tell here where he was going, lol, but I had just walked in from work (live at home) so he couldn’t say!

     

    When he came back, he told her quietly (I was not in the room) but she came crying to me and spilled the beans!! ;=)

     

    We got engaged about 3 months after that.

    Post # 80
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    No. I am my own person, and I do not require my parent’s permission to pursue a future with someone I love.

    Post # 81
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    He didn’t bother asking because we’re both adults and can do as we please (at least, that’s what we like to think! Haha). My family loves him dearly, and we have a child together so it was natural for us to take the next step. The only problem was my dad. My fiance is asian and my dad is racist. We told him but he already had excuses as to why he won’t be able to come to the wedding. πŸ™

    Post # 82
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My fiancé asked my mom and dad for their blessing about two days before he proposed. My mom knew he was coming over (my younger sister was in on the engagement surprise and couldn’t keep a secret) but my dad was so confused as to why he was at their house in the middle of the week. My dad actually thought my fiancé was there to tell them we were breaking up or pregnant! But my fiancé did ask for their permission/blessing and it made me really happy to know he involved them in our engagement. Plus, I think my dad really appreciated it. I was actually Facetiming with my sister and niece when my fiancé walked into my parent’s house (unknown to me) but my sister said she had to go and I told her to Facetime me later so we could continue our conversation but she never did. I later found out it was because my niece was super excited and kept calling my fiancé “almost uncle…” and they thought she would spill the beans.

    Post # 83
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    I am 27 we got engaged when I was 25… we already have a son together but he asked my mom and dad for permission yes, and showed them the ring Kiss

    Post # 84
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My fiance and I decided to get married without the input of my parents. After telling my mom, who told my dad, it turned out my dad was a bit disappointed that Rob didn’t ask his permission.

    But as a 26 year old feminist, I hate hate hate the idea of my fiance asking anyone’s permission except mine when it comes to US getting married. So my fiance, being the absolute doll he is, came up with the idea of instead of asking permission, he would ask my dad if my fiance would be welcome in the family. This way, dad feels like he’s part of the outdated tradition of asking permission, and I don’t have to feel like property.

    Post # 85
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2016 - The Fox Hollow

    I was/am 23 when I got engaged πŸ™‚ he didn’t necessarily ask my parents permission but he did go talk to them first, showed them the ring, and said something along the lined of “I know it’d a tradition to ask her parents for permission…” And the. My mom jumped down his throat and was like “OMG OF COURSE YOU HAVE OUR PERMISSION!” and my dad shook his hand. And said “Congratulations, nick.” (a man of few words lol) 

    Post # 86
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’m 24 (was 23 when we got engaged) and my Fiance asked my mom, it was important to her so I’m happy he did :-)!!!

    Post # 86
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee

    SO just asked my mom for permission two days ago!! The ring hasn’t come yet…supposedly it will <br />”sometime this year”…sigh

    Post # 87
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    I voted “other”.  My SO secretly went up to where I grew up (about an hour and 15 mins from where we live now) to talk to both of my parents a week before he proposed.  However I didn’t really consider it to be “asking permission”, because we are both 28 and have been on our own since college and I don’t feel that adults need permission from anyone to get married.  Also I am glad he talked to both my parents and not just my dad, because I believe my mom has just as much a right to be a part of that as my dad does!  I don’t get the whole just asking the dad for permission thing, it seems so sexist to me. My parents were thrilled but not super surprised (I had told them previously that we had talked about marriage and wanted to marry fairly soon).  They had a hard time keeping it a secret from me until the proposal! πŸ™‚

     

    ETA: sorry, I just noticed that the title is asking for young brides.  Maybe I would not be considered such a young bride, I’m not sure! πŸ™‚

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  Abbyxoxo.
    Post # 88
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    PositiveThinking:  I feel the same way about how sexist those traditions are!  I plan to have both my mom and dad walk me down the aisle, they BOTH raised me and my dad is not “giving me away” at my wedding like I’m a piece of property!  No offense to people who follow those traditions, I just do not like the message behind them.

    Post # 89
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    webster:  I feel the same way about the aisle thing, so I’m having both my parents walk me down!  It seems more about family that way and less about a weird sexist tradition of “giving the bride away”. πŸ™‚

    Post # 90
    Member
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - The Runnymede Hotel

    No, absolutely not.

    I was (still am) 24, I will be 25 when we tie the knot.

    My Dad has actually told me he’d have been seriously p*ssed off if my SO had asked permission – he views it as MY decision, I am the only person who can give SO an answer. Dad is still extremely excited about giving me away, of course πŸ™‚

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