(Closed) Younger Bees, have you heard of Grass Is Greener Syndrome? Have you experienced

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 107
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

Just know that should you break it off, and be single, and get another boyfriend, it’s entirely possible that you will miss the “being single and enjoying getting noticed” that you’re talking about right now. If it’s a questino of you truly not thinking you are compatible, then by all means cut it off and play the field. But if all it is is you enjoying a little attention, that sounds a little selfish to me.

I met my husband at 17 and married him at 18. 7 years later, of course I think it’s natural for us to miss getting noticed and having attention paid to us. But I wouldn’t trade that in a million years for the security and happiness of being married to someone who loves me even with morning breath and no makeup.

Post # 108
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Maybe you would feel better if you went to counseling. You could go individually at first, and then bring him in if you feel nervous about broaching your concerns with him alone. 

Alternatively, you could just do couple’s counseling before the wedding, since in some religions that is custom. I’d encourage you to get to the bottom of it before the wedding day! 

Post # 109
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
DoubleA903:  Woooooow nelly. I think your last update says it all. Reread that as if a girlfriend was telling you about her relationship. What would you advise her?

Post # 110
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Also want to explain that I voted it Helpful because it helped me understand how seriously NOT GOOD your relationship is

Post # 111
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I love your perspective that today is a new day. I hope (and I mean very genuinely hope) that this is the day your relationship ends. I know it will be hard, what with the living situation, and a major change in your life. And you are going to shed a lot more tears. But this is the decision that will open you up to a world of happiness in your future.

I let my high school romance go on for way too long. When we finally broke up, I couldn’t handle it. I barely are for months. I cried daily. My stomach hurt. And then three months later, I met the most amazing man. The man that I will be marrying in just 30 more days. 

And as much as that breakup hurt, it was the best decision I ever made. Now I’m in a relationship that actually makes me happy.

Good luck tonight.

Post # 113
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
DoubleA903:  You can do this! But keep yourself safe. Could he get violent if you trying breaking up with him? If so maybe go to a public place to talk to him or have a friend check on you at a certain time?

Post # 116
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I felt this way for most of my first marriage, and it ended in divorce. We met at 17 and were together for 13 years. However it was an unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship overall, and feeling as though I had never experienced freedom and dating was likely a manifestation of how unhappy I was. 

I didn’t leave because I didn’t know any different, like you, his family had become my family, he had supported me financially, I didn’t know relationships weren’t all like this. I just felt stuck. After it ended, I did date and enjoyed being single but when I met DH I never had a single doubt about our future, it was just right from day one.

Post # 117
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t know how productive talking to him will be. He doesn’t have the best track record in terms of actually listening to you (seems like he normally get pissed at the first sign of trouble and storms out). It’s worth a try, but if you find it is yet another exercise in futility tonight, I would write him a letter or email explaining how you feel. All the stuff you’ve said here. Sometimes it is easier to get it all out in writing when you can collect your thoughts and aren’t trying to articulate complicated emotions in the heat of the moment.

Not saying he’ll respond to that either (I did this with my ex toward the end and never even got a response lol! telling…) – but at least you’ll know you’ve said your part and put it all out there.

Post # 120
Hostess
4600 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m so sorry you’re going through this bee. Know that we’re here to support you!

The topic ‘Younger Bees, have you heard of Grass Is Greener Syndrome? Have you experienced’ is closed to new replies.

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