Post # 1
Member
33 posts
Newbee
I am the youngest of two, my sister is about three years older than I am. When I first got engaged, I was surprised with how many people asked me how my older sister felt about my engagement. My sister was happy about my engagement, so I wasn’t concerned about it. However, people continue to give me the, “Oh, you’re the youngest, how does your sister feel about it?” reaction. I usually just laugh it off, and say, “Well, she’s in grad school and has a great life, she’s happy for me”, but it is starting to get annoying and it sometimes makes me quetion how my sister really feels about everything.
Is there anyone out there who has dealt with the same or similar issues?! I would very much appreciate any feedback. Thanks!
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
That is so weird. I’m the oldest girl, but I have an older brother and nobody asked me if he had weird feelings about me “beating him to the alter” so to speak.
PS–he’s thrilled. His complaint with me is he always liked the guys I dated and never got to pull the scary big brother act.
Post # 4
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
@angelheart: I’m the older sibling and my sister was married well before I was, in fact when she was married I was in grad school. From my perspective I can tell you I was extremely happy for her and my Brother-In-Law. I had other goals at the time, so I wasn’t mad/upset/unhappy about her getting married before me. It’s about meeting the right person, not who gets there first……in my opinion anyway.
Congrats on your engagement! 🙂
Post # 5
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
My sister is a year and a half younger than me, and just got engaged. (i’m not engaged yet). Whenever i mention my sister is engaged, people say “isn’t she younger?? wow….how do you feel about that?” I’m just like SERIOUSLY?? I don’t understand why it matters, it’s super annoying though. I’m so happy for her, she’s been with her fiance for about 6 years. I haven’t even been with my bf for 2 years. People are so funny…. 🙂
Post # 6
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
I would not worry about it. People always ask strange questions around weddings. I am the oldest of 4 and I am the 3 to get married.
I am glad to have waited. Most people will ask questions based upon how they are feeling. So maybe it would bother them if their younger sis got married first.
It had only bothered me at the time because I was in a bad relationship and was upset with my situation and wished that I had what they had had.
Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
Just let their comments roll off your shoulder. You did nothing wrong getting engaged first, people do not necessarily get married in birth order.
Post # 8
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
As long as your sister isn’t upset, then just let the comments slide and keep answering them the way that you have been. I’m the youngest of 3 kids and the only one to get married so far, but I’m also the only girl so I’m sure it’s different.
Post # 9
Member
2413 posts
Buzzing bee
This is so weird and I don’t like the connotation to it – like your sister should be offended by your life circumstances. Honestly, I say each to their own, so as long as your sister really isn’t angry (which wouldn’t make sense) I would just let the comments slide. She’s doing her own thing and people should realized that you are doing yours!
Post # 10
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
I think that you should just brush off those comments. It bothered me when people asked, beause it was true..my older (by 18 months) sister told me that she was jealous of me, and was a miserable maid of honor. It sucked. She does say now that she was/still is ‘happy for me’ but never holds back from saying she was jealous that her younger sister got married before her. She had been in a serious relationship and they broke up right when I got engaged, so she had been going through a rough love life.
Post # 11
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
People love to stir up drama. A good way to do that is to look for etiquette rules from years gone and try to create hard feelings about them. I ‘d probably just say that she was happy for me and leave it at that.
Post # 12
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
I’m the younger sister and getting married before my older sister (who says she doesn’t believe in marriage but we shall see if she changes her mind) — I’m somewhat surprised, but nobody has commented on it (maybe because they aren’t surprised!)
Post # 13
Member
33 posts
Newbee
Thanks for the input! It’s great to know I’m not the only one out there.
Post # 14
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
Im the middle of three girls, my older sister is also three years older than me…Im also the first to get married in my family. People were extremely annoying when asking that question,
Post # 15
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m the youngest out of three girls and when my Fiance and I announced our engagement and wedding date they both freaked out. They said that I should wait until BOTH of them are married. Now, neither of them had steady bf’s and are kind of members of the “Flavor of the Month Club.” I said that I would never be able to get married if that was the case. They both eventually got over it…I think. I’m thinking I’m going to be the only one to get married, but I KNOW that I’m going to be the only one with children.
Post # 16
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
@angelheart: It’s not a race.