(Closed) Your Actual Christmas Vs Your Ideal Christmas

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
3438 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Actual: Being woken up with Fiance by my surprise daughter before the crack of dawn to open gifts. Which I’m almost certain will happen bc she’s been randomly running to the tree saying, “Its almost Christmas! Lets open presents!”, for the last week. lol We’re baking cookies together the night before. No idea about the rest of the day besides having breakfast and getting dressed.

Ideal: Honestly, I think this will be one of the best Christmas experiences of my lifetime. ๐Ÿ™‚ My only change would be visiting my parents later in the day but they’re in separate states on the opposite coast. 

Post # 3
1546 posts
Bumble bee

Actual: The typical UK Christmas. Wake up 8am ish, have breakfast (eggs benedict/ bacon sandwichs or croissants), open presents, start prepping Christmas dinner, watch the Queens speech and a christmas film, eat christmas turkey dinner around 2.30 with crackers etc.. followed by christmas pudding/ yule log and lots of drinking until about 5pm, then watch another film while everyone falls asleep infront of the tv because theyve eaten too much. Wake up for some more chocolate and the Doctor who christmas special/ any other christmas special we fancy. 

We see extended families on boxing day (the day after christmas).

Ideal: Pretty much the same but id love for children to be involved. I love Christmas day but I think children bring alot of the magic back. 

Post # 4
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Actual – wake up, have breakfast, open presents, shower, his to his mum and dads for more presents, home, dinner and he goes to work at 3:30 the I’ll watch movies and drink wine


ideal – get up, have breakfast, spend day being lazy and eating good food, drinking champagne and opening presents, eat dinner, watch movies and relax 

Post # 5
8508 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
emeraldmay :  Actual: Wake up with SO, have bucks fizz and something for breakfast, open presents. Open my cats presents for them because of the fact they are cats. Go over to my parents at a time dictated to me by my sister (just like every year) open family presents, maybe go for a walk, have Christmas dinner at 6pm, eat drink and be merry, play games, complain about being too full. Boxing day we will visit SO’s family.


Ideal: Have a massive lie in, head to parents whenever I please. lol.

Post # 6
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Actual- get off shift at 8am from working overnight in the hospital, go home and open presents nd make breakfast with SO and family in the morning and then go to bed since I work Christmas night too haha. At least we’re doing Christmas dinner on the 26th so I don’t completely miss out ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Ideal- sleep in until whenever, open presents and make breakfast with SO and family, and then spending the rest of the day watching Star Wars and making dinner ๐Ÿ™‚ Maybe next year!

Post # 7
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Actual: having to go to 4 different places because of divorced parents.

Ideal: everyone come to our house and not have to drive all over the place. We actually did this one year but my step-mother decided she didn’t want to do that anymore because she was uncomfortable or whatever. So that promptly stopped and now we have to go to multiple places. Best believe when we have kids that’s not happening anymore.

Post # 8
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Actual: I am estranged from my family. While this is a very, VERY good thing, I still get a tiny ‘pang’ around the holidays. I also have an unwanted houseguest who has been driving me crazy and somewhat spoiled the season for me. Xmas Eve will be spent at SIL’s house, which is normally fine but this is the first Xmas since she lost her Dad (he died right after Canadian Thanksgiving) so it’s going to be a downer as she is still (VERY understandably) deep in her grief. Xmas Day dinner is spent at DH’s aunts house…no complaints there.

Ideal: I’d live in an alternate universe where I was NOT raised by a Narcissistic/Abusive Mom and a Father who enabled her…or at least my parents toxicicity was toned down enough that an estrangement wasn’t necessary. My point is I’d have a family to go home to on Xmas. SIL’s Dad would still be alive OR she’d accept her ‘limits’ and not be so stubborn about carrying on tradition and hosting Xmas Eve…and let us take care of her in her grief. My unwanted houseguest wouldn’t be here driving me crazy either. DH and I would have the ‘normal’ married couple spat about how we are going to divide the holidays between our famalies…instead of him having to comfort me at least once over the holidays and remind me I’m not a ‘bad daughter’ and the estrangement was the best possible thing for me…and all the abuse I endured growing up wasn’t somehow my fault.

EDIT: I re-read my post, and I’m sorry it got a little ‘dark’ at the end there…the holidays are hard for me! 

Post # 9
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Ideal: Stay at home with Fiance and the puppy, go for a long Christmas afternoon walk, have Indian take-away for dinner. Enjoy all the Christmas decorations.

Actual: See above – unless our preferred Indian take-away is closed that day, then it will be pizza. Also, I didn’t get around to decorate as much as I meant to, but that is a minor complaint.

Post # 10
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall

View original reply
emeraldmay :  Fun thread!


My christmas this year: Christmas eve I will be going to yoga with my dad and sister in the morning, probably going to get brunch afterwards. Heading home to wrap presents and then dinner with my mom’s mom and her side of the family. Christmas day we will go to my dad’s in the morning, then go to church, then my in-laws, and end the day at my dad’s sisters house for dinner and our usual festivites. 


My ideal christmas would be pretty similar except I would go to church on Christmas eve (our church isn’t doing an eve service this year, first world problems) and we would be celebrating in our new house that has yet to be built. So next year I will have my “ideal” christmas!

Post # 11
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Actual: wake up early, exchange presents with DH, go to my mom’s house for breakfast, stop by my uncle’s house to say hi and do our gift exchange, go to DH’s grandmother’s house to catch dinner and play cards, then go home and nap.

Ideal: wake up late, have breakfast/brunch with my family at DH and my house, then go to DH’s grandmother’s house for dinner and cards. Luckily we will get to play late because no one has to work the next day this year!

I am really hoping DH and I can start to figure out a more suitable way to spend our holidays. It’s been almost 9years of this same horrible setup and it has started to make us resent the holidays.

Post # 12
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ideal:  Wake up around 10am, lounge in bed fore a few, eat brunch in PJs leisurely open gifts while watching Bad Santa.  Prepare dinner (roasted pork loin this year) and game while everything cooks.


Wake up when the kids wake up (could be between 7am-9am), wrestle them out of their cribs, more wrestling on the changing table while trying to prevent the other twin from spilling over the contents of the diaper pail.  

Feed breakfast to the kids: clean up spills, pick up the croissant that one kid threw across the room, find the half eat apple that the other kid has hidden somwhere.  Get yelled at by my tiny toddler overlords as I mistakenly select the wrong TV show.

Then comes the moment that they see the tree and presents….so magical.  And by magical, I mean it’s freakin amazing how many plastic ornaments (shatterproof because I don’t hate myself) can come flying off a tree per second.  Chase down the ornaments rolling around on my floor while simultaneously trying to prevent my kids from ripping every bow off every present and trying to unravel the ribbon.

Opening presents: this is what makes it all worth the craziness.  In fact, it’s not even the presents themselves, but the actual act of opening.  My boys love ripping paper, playing with the cardboard boxes and of course bubble wrap.  They love the fact that their aunts, uncles, and grandmas all giggle and laugh as we watch their antics.  My kids have really brought all of our families together, and I’m so grateful for that.  Sometimes what actually happens is better that anything we could’ve imagined ourselves.

Post # 13
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Actual: come home from work because I work nights, make some breakfast of nothing particularly fancy, open presents with Fiance, call my family and ask how their presents were, possibly sleep a little bit, otherwise be forced to go socialize with in-laws, none of which i feel massively comfortable with. 


Ideal: have Christmas Eve off work, wake up whenever Christmas morning, have a GOOD breakfast, open presents and have my WHOLE family there with us, go to church, have a real Christmas dinner after, watch the snow fall and sip hot cocoa while enjoying new presents/family/Christmas itself …. Needless to say, I’m more than a little bit disappointed at my reality ….

Post # 14
1491 posts
Bumble bee

Ideal: going to my family Christmas Eve party, with lots of bubbly and traditional Christmas foods. Doing secret Santa and laughing late into the night. Then sleeping in late Xmas day, having a chilled breakfast and coffee in our new backyard with Fiance, then late lunch at his parents house. 

Actual: I will be in bed, as I have pneumonia ๐Ÿ™ Fiance will keep my company on Christmas Eve which is what I will be saddest about missing.

Post # 15
7514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ideal : Waking up in mountain house in Colorado to snow, opening presents, having breakfast, skiing, then eat Christmas dinner.

Actual : Normally we’d make the trip to IL’s house, waking up early to open presents. We all eat breakfast together and lounge around for a while. Usually DH and I will get dressed and go make the rounds visiting people we don’t get to see often.

This year DH and I are semi-splitting up. We were supposed to be having Christmas at our house, but MIL’s recent Cancer diagnosis sort of put a wrench in that. Instead DH is going to drive up early on Christmas eve to his hometown so he can continue the tradition of doing Christmas Eve dinner with his dad’s side of the family. He’ll get up Christmas morning and do breakfast with his mom, then hit the road and drive home. I’ll be at our house, so I’m likely going to do dinner with friends on Christmas Eve and then have a low-key morning making myself breakfast. I’ll start cooking dinner at some point and then my family will be coming for Christmas Dinner about the time DH gets back home. It’s not idea but we’re making it work this year.

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